Fibbing Friday — Christmas Fibs

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in your responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.

1 – What does it mean to “come a-wassailing”?

It’s an invitation to go out onto the bay in a sailboat, get drunk, and post a YouTube video of everyone saying “Wassup?”

2 – What was on Little Jack Horner’s thumb when he pulled it out of his Christmas pie?

He pulled out a long, brown hair that his mother must have let fall into the batter when she made the pie. It caused Little Jack to upchuck.

3 – According to the song, what was it that “My True Love gave to me” on the 8th day of Christmas?

Divorce papers. Turns out she wasn’t really his true love at all.

4 – What is the purpose of a Yule log?

It’s what ends up in the toilet after having taken a laxative to finally unblock your bowels after drinking too much eggnog while decking the halls with all that holly.

5 – What was so special about the reindeer named Rudolph?

A few years earlier, Rudolph had been a she, Ruth, but she had undergone a sex change operation because Santa, a misogynist, would not permit a female reindeer to lead his reindeer team.

6 – What were the names of Santa’s reindeer?

Groucho, Zeppo, Chico, Harpo, Curly, Moe, and Larry.

7 – Why do we leave a snack for Santa?

If you don’t leave Santa a snack, the fat bastard won’t leave you a present.

8 – Who or what is Krampus?

Krampus is what women go through each month when they have their menstrual cycle.

9 – How did the tradition of kissing under mistletoe get started?

It was an attempt to take a man’s attention away from the cameltoe of that sexy young girl in the very, very tight jeans and to force him to focus, instead, on kissing his wife on her lips. Her mouth lips, that is.

10 – Why is Christmas celebrated in December?

September has Labor Day, October has Halloween, November has Thanksgiving, January has New Year’s Day, February has Valentine’s Day, March has the Ides of March, April has Easter, May has Mother’s Day, June has Father’s Day, July has Independence Day, and August has International Beer Day (followed by International Hangover Day). December needed a holiday, so it was decided that Christmas would be in December.

17 thoughts on “Fibbing Friday — Christmas Fibs

  1. newepicauthor December 11, 2020 / 10:01 am

    I went with toilet humor on yule log also. I also used menstrual cycle on #8. Great minds buddy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango December 11, 2020 / 11:39 am

      I don’t think we are the only ones whose great minds worked that way. 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. relaxitsallwrite December 11, 2020 / 10:37 am

    Hilarious!! Your finest work yet, Fandango…when it comes to making me LOL, anyway. How am I supposed to follow this?!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Marleen December 11, 2020 / 11:06 am

    I have to share this quip for the holidays. I also have to name the person who said it, in case he’s ever famous (and to not take credit for myself): he is Patrick Maye, currently (or sometime before the pandemic) a waiter. He said it’s amazing how representatives for the President keep going to court and losing; it’s like Republican Hanukkah.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Melanie B Cee December 11, 2020 / 11:24 am

    Okay I sense a trend here. I read Jim’s post just before yours, Fandango, and I would politely like to ask what’s up with the ‘time of the month’ jokes (although I did it too for that question, but I’m a woman. Doesn’t make it more acceptable, but I do understand why “Krampus” might be interpreted that way). No worries though! The hair in the pie (and oh my gawd if you follow the logical path and combine your answer to another of the questions with that phrase…we could be here all day trying to unravel things.had me gagging long before the Krampus thing…and I’d have puked too. Ugh. Very VERY clever and frightfully funny answers Fandango. Fat bastard? I suspect Santa left you some coal in your sock one Christmas or another… .hmmm O_o

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Carol anne December 13, 2020 / 10:08 pm

    Lol you are hilarious! I loved your answers especially number 10!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. leigha66 December 19, 2020 / 9:00 pm

    A funny batch of answers Fandango! I now know about Beer Day and Hangover Day.

    Liked by 1 person

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