Rory’s Strange Questions

Rory, at Earthly Comforts, has, once again, posed a bunch of interesting strange questions. Here are my equally interesting strange answers.

Roses are red,
?,
?,
?
.
[I have started you off now finish the poem your way in the next three lines]

Roses are red
Republicans are too
If they take back Congress in November
We’ll all be standing in deep poopoo

What do you find odd about people?

People.

Which two questions are you asked the most on a regular basis that annoy you?

  • What do you do for a living? I’m fucking retired, can’t you see that?
  • What religion are you?

Who was the first Disney princess – Snow White or Cinderella?

Snow White? Or Cinderella? I don’t know and I don’t care.

What five questions would you ask a stranger in order to get to know them?

  • What’s your name?
  • Where are you from?
  • Are you married?
  • Do you have any kids?
  • Do you wanna have sex with me?

What habits do you consider really bad?

Smoking cigarettes.

Who was the female star of Breakfast at Tiffany’s?

Audrey Hepburn

Which Shakespeare play includes the following words? “Once more onto the breach, dear friends?”

The one I haven’t read, apparently.

Turkish Delight is a type of custard. True or false.

False. I think it’s some sort of chewy candy.

Have you ever seen something you simply couldn’t easily explain away and if so what was it?

Yes, anyone who still supports Donald Trump.

What is the difference between six and half a dozen?

The number of syllables.

What can you NOT compost?

Kitty litter and dog poop.

What is a major component of Welsh Rarebit?

Cheese?

How long is long in your eyes?

Either too long or not long enough, depending upon what we’re talking about?

Are butterflies attracted more to flowers or weeds – what do you think?

Flowers, I think.

One of your best friends has phoned for your help in the middle of the night to bury the body of your other best friend – do you help or not?

Fuck no.

Vatican City is a country – true or false?

For some inexplicable reason, it’s considered to be a country.

Name three things that freak you out and then explain why.

Far-right Republicans, white supremacists, and conspiracy theorists. Why? Do I really need to explain?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To buy a dozen eggs at the local farm stand.

Bonus Question

What’s the worst thing that could happen to a compost pile do you think?

Construct an outhouse on top of it, maybe. Or perhaps that’s the best thing that could happen to it.

Rory’s Roaring Again

Rory is roaring back on his new blog with some of his patented teasing and tempting questions. So let’s get right to it.

Where and what does the phrase ‘Mad as a box of frogs’ originate from and mean?

I have never heard that expression before. I’ve heard “mad as a hatter” and “mad as a wet hen,” but never “mad as a box of frogs.” But I can imagine that if you put a bunch of frogs that have been stuffed into a box, they’d be pretty damn mad.

At what age do you think you would clearly recognize a ‘much younger version of you’ if you bumped into YOU on the street today?

I’ve had a beard ever since I was thirty, so if I saw a younger me who was not yet thirty, I very well might not recognize him.

How would you react if you woke up one morning next to a headless horse?

I would probably think I’d somehow fallen asleep on the movie set of “The Godfather” and had woken up during the filming of that famous scene, but with the rest of the horse.

What country would you most like to visit if you were a rabbit and why?

If I were a rabbit I don’t think I’d know the concept of a “country.” I think I’d just want to live in an underground warren in a lovely meadow with all of the other rabbits, whatever country it is in.

When did time actually begin and if you are not sure well then make something up!

Some may argue that time either always existed or began at the occurrence of The Big Bang. But to other than human beings, the measurement of time means nothing. No other species besides human beings understand or care about seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, or centuries. Your dog doesn’t know or care how many hours it’s been since his last meal. Only whether he’s hungry or not.

Ancient Egyptian sundial. Credit: Musée du Louvre, Paris, Département des Antiquités égyptiennes

Since the concept of time is a human construct, time, particularly the measurement of time, is a relatively recent phenomenon. It most likely began with the invention of sundials in ancient Egypt sometime between 2000 and 1500 B.C. Initially, the basic unit of time was the period of daylight. The Egyptians broke that period from sunrise to sunset into twelve equal parts, which became the forerunner to the contemporary concept of hours.

How often do you forget what you just said?

I can’t remember.

Who would you rather be Casper the Friendly Ghost or Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost and why?

I’ve never heard of Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost. Just Casper the Friendly Ghost. But since I don’t believe in ghosts of any kind, I’d rather just be dead and rest in peace.

Which came first, the banana or the orange or yellow and orange the colors?

Like time, language is a human construct, so I’m sure bananas and oranges existed before humans came up with the names for those fruits or the names of the colors for them.

Are we actually living our best lives?

I think we each strive to live our best lives, but for many of us, life often gets in the way of living our best life.

Do you think we owe the world our life, the world owes us our life, or we owe it to ourselves to live life? [Interpret as you wish]

I strive to remain debt free. So I owe no one anything and no one owes me anything. Certainly the world doesn’t owe me anything. And what I owe to the world is to be as environmentally conscious as I can and to support and vote for candidates who will be serious about fighting climate change.

Weekend Quickie — April ‘22 #3

In what is now a weekly prompt, Rory has a new batch of Weekend Quickie questions for us to ponder.

When was the last time you had a quickie on the weekend, and what was it?

Today. Writing this post.

Why is chocolate more appealing than … what?

Chocolate is more appealing than almost anything else. Why? Because it’s chocolate.

Can you use the word ‘Debauchery’ innocently in a sentence, and if so, how?

Is ‘debauchery’ spelled with one b or two?

How do you remove grass stains from your knees?

If you wear long pants, the grass stains get on your pants, not on your knees, so problem solved.

Why is it ill-advised to jog uphill backwards blindfolded with your hands above your head?

Based upon my personal experience, it’s ill-advised because your neighbors will likely call the police when they see you jogging uphill backwards blindfolded with your hands above your head.

What is the best way to deliver bad news?

Fast and direct, like ripping off a bandage.

Do you have a scary mind and if so how so?

I don’t think of my mind as scary, unless you consider a brilliant mind to be scary. 🙄

How much sleep do you get each day, and do you wake refreshed? If yes, why do you think you do, and if not, why do you think you don’t?

Six or seven hours a night. I usually wake up feeling refreshed if those six or seven hours are uninterrupted.

Tree, Bee, Tee all rhyme with me, so what fruit am I?

I dunno. A lychee, maybe?

Can you list five injuries you could encounter while out in the garden please?

Green thumb, grass-stained knee, bee sting, fire ant bite, gopher hole toe.

Bonus Question
Who said, “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.” And who were they talking to?

Ooh, I know this! It’s Leslie Nielson (as Dr. Rumack) talking to Robert Hays (as Ted Striker) in the movie “Airplane!”

Weekend Quickie — April ‘22 #2

In what is now a weekly prompt, Rory has a new batch of Weekend Quickie questions for us to ponder.

Name one sport that is already dangerous but would be lethal if you were naked?

Wrestling? Maybe not lethal, but it might get kind of interesting depending upon what holds are or are not barred.

If l had three bananas in my right pocket and 17 grapes in my left pocket what would l have in my back pocket?

A can of whipped cream.

How many animals were aboard Noah’s Ark?

Two of each kind. And if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you.

What is the second largest organ in your body and could you live without it?

I wouldn’t want to live without any organ in my body, but it seems that most Republicans in the United States have opted to live without their brains.

What is the most reckless thing you have ever done as an adult?

My then-future wife and I took a motorcycle camping trip across the country on a Kawasaki KZ 400. If you know anything about motorcycles, you’d know that that is not a proper touring bike for such a trip.

I came, I saw and I didn’t …. [what?]

do that!

What are 5 ways to keep warm when lost outside in a snowstorm with a stranger?

First, kill the stranger. Then slice him wide open, remove all the guts and vital organs, and crawl inside his carcass in order to stay warm until rescued. Hence, #2-5 would no longer be applicable.

How does your mind work – what am I talking about if these words are used – Melons, Jugs, bubbles, and orbs?

Strippers’ names. Duh!

Which language are these words and terms from? – ankle biter, strewth, bludger, sunnies barbie, nuddy, furphy, and woop woop?

Oompa-Loompan.

Do you prefer to ring my bell, push the button, knock on wood, or walk on by and why did you select your choice?

I’d walk on by. I don’t like to bother people unless I’m specifically invited.

Bonus Question
Who said, “It’s just a flesh wound?” And who were they talking to?

Ooh, I know this! It’s the Black Knight from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.”

Weekend Quickie — April ‘22 #1

In what is now a weekly prompt, Rory has a new batch of Weekend Quickie questions for us to ponder.

How effective are willy warmers for keeping the chill out?

Not effective at all. Due to a phenomenon known as “shrinkage,” when a willy gets chilly, it tends to get smaller, as if attempting to recede back into the body for warmth. Thus, willy warmers fall off the willy when it’s chilly. That’s science, man.

Have you ever ignited a bottom breeze?

What adolescent male hasn’t ignited a fart at least once in his life? As The Rolling Stones once sang, “It’s a gas, gas, gas.”

If you had to have one hand tied behind your back for one day a week for the rest of your life which one would it be and why?

My left hand. It’s close to useless.

How many cabbage leaves does it take to turn on the average human?

Say what? Cabbage leaves are a turn on? Who knew?

How old is too old and what is too old anyway?

I’ll let you know when I get there.

Are you a bubble wrapper popper?

I used to be, but it frightens my dog and annoys my wife, so not anymore.

Is it legal to paint a tree in the wild?

I don’t think I’ve ever heard or read of any laws saying that it’s illegal to paint a tree in the wild, but at my age, I rarely go in the wild anymore, so who knows?

Why is the color red used to describe love and passion?

Because red provokes the strongest emotions of any color. It is considered the warmest of the colors and, being linked to passion and love as well as power and anger, it has more emotional associations than any other color. That’s why all of my willy warmers are red.

How many banned books have you ever read and what were they?

I don’t know if it was actually banned, but I remember as a young teenager getting my hands on a book called The Story of O, which was a French erotic novel (the copy I had was translated to English). All I remember is that it was about a woman named O who was into oral sex.

What is the most unusual drink you have ever drunk when sober?

When I lived in Texas, the non-alcoholic beverage of choice seemed to be Dr Pepper. It wasn’t at all unusual in Texas, but it was (and I assume, still is) awful.

Bonus Question
Who said, “Oh man, what are you doing with a gun in space?” And who were they talking to?

I was going to say that it was one of the lyrics in the song “Space Cowboy” from the Steve Miller band, but then I Googled the lyrics and it’s not in there.