SoCS — Tangled Up In Blue

For this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, Linda G. Hill has asked us to “talk about the first blue object you see when you sit down to write your post.”Our dog, who is fast approaching 14, injured a toe pad on her left rear paw.

We took her to the vet because she was limping and was favoring that paw. The vet found a tear in her pad, and checked to make sure there wasn’t a sliver of glass or some other foreign objected embedded in her paw’s toe pad. Then she cleaned it out and prescribed some antibiotics, and told us to try out best to keep her paw clean and dry. She suggested getting our dog a bootie to wear when we walked her outside.ED1FF6E4-6000-4217-9AFC-59390271009CWhat you see in the picture above is the bootie we got for her. She’s not crazy about wearing it, and it does affect her gate, causing a bit of a stutter-step when she walks. But it certainly does keep dirt and crap from getting into her wound.

The good news is that her bootie is blue, and that blue bootie was the first blue object I saw before sitting down to write this post.


SoCS — Where There’s a Will…

29570B28-A896-4EFF-9D26-E16A2CA7F48F“No way,” Ellen said.

“Yes way,” Amanda said. “Just two years ago, Ellen, I weighed 300 pounds. Now look at me. I weigh 125.”

“That’s amazing. How did you do it?” Ellen asked.

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way, Ellen,” Amanda said. “I read an article about a nutritionist who had developed a diet he called the ‘Little Miss Muffet Diet.’ It basically consisted of eating nothing but curds and whey.”

“Curds and whey!” Ellen said. “What, pray tell, are curds and whey?”

“They are products of cheese-making,” Amanda explained. “When an enzyme, rennin, is added to milk, it causes the milk to curdle. These solid, curdled lumps are the curds. Whey is the liquid byproduct of the curdling process.”

“Ew, that sounds awful,” Ellen said. “There’s no way I could deal with that kind of diet. I’d rather be overweight than eat nothing but curdled milk and its liquid byproduct. That’s, like, totally gross.”

“Well, Ellen, it turned out that the Little Miss Muffet Diet,” Amanda admitted, “gave me terrible, stinky gas and horribly bad breath, and the nutritionist was a quack and a scam artist, so I gave up that diet after two weeks.”

“So how, then, did you actually lose all that weight?” Ellen asked.

“Truth be told,” Amanda said, “I had laparoscopic gastric bypass surgery.”

“No way,” Ellen said.

“Yes way,” Amanda said.

Written for today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill. Our challenge is to write a post using the words “weigh,” “way,” and “whey.”

SoCS — Couch Potato

6B54C796-D350-443C-A59E-4AEB15458EE4“Why are you always just sitting there on the couch playing Candy Crush all day long on your phone?” Carol complained.

“Oh come on, sweet-pea,” Jerry said, “just look at me, I’m a regular couch potato.”

“Jerry, you always couch your answers in terms of fruits and vegetables and I’m sick of it.”

“Oh, pumpkin,” Jerry said, a hurt look on his face, “that’s kind of hash, don’t you think?”

“No it’s not hash, Jerry, and I think you meant ‘harsh,’” Carol said. “Let’s go out somewhere. The county fair is this weekend. That would be fun.”

“Bean there, done that,” Jerry said. I yam sure I don’t want to go there again.

“Did you just say ‘bean there’ instead of ‘been there’? And ‘yam’ instead of ‘am’? That’s so corny, Jerry,” Carol said.

“Carol, my little tomato,” Jerry said, “you know, deep down inside that we are like two peas in a pod. Why don’t you take your lovely pair-shaped body and set yourself down on this couch next to me? As soon as I finish this came of Candy Crush, we can add some spice to our lives. If you let me squeeze your melons, I’ll let you fondle my eggplant.”

“Ooh, you’re getting a little peppery, there, Jerry. Lettuce see what happens when you finally put down your phone,” Carol said. “You always were the apple of my eye, Jerry.”

Jerry smiled and said, “Aw, orange you a sweet potato?”

This bit of silliness was written for today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill. She’s asked us to write a post using the word “couch” as a verb or a noun.

SoCS — Beginnings and Endings

720351BE-7122-45EB-98A7-03285D72CD92After my teachers in high school drummed it into my head that you’re never ever supposed to end a sentence with a preposition, I was shocked to find out that most language experts don’t actually abide by this so-called “rule.” Some grammar mavens even call that “rule” a myth.

What are prepositions? Actually, prepositions are some of the most frequently used words in all of English, such as of, to, for, with, on, and at. A preposition is a word or phrase that connects a noun or pronoun to a verb or adjective in a sentence.

On reflection, if the “never end a sentence with a preposition” rule is a myth, what about never starting a sentence with one? Well, it turns out that using a preposition or a prepositional phrase at the beginning of a sentence is both common and grammatically correct.

The word “after,” which is the very first word of this post, is also a preposition. And that’s a good thing because Linda G. Hill challenged us, for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday, to start our post with a preposition. With that in mind, I started my post with the word “after,” which is a preposition. Yay me!

And while we’re talking about “hard and fast rules” in grammar that I was taught in high school, another was to never start a sentence with a conjunction.

Well, according to Grammar Girl, “It’s fine to start a sentence with a conjunction. And, but, and or are the three most common members of a group of words known as coordinating conjunctions. In fact, a substantial percentage of the sentences in first-rate writing begin with conjunctions.”

And with that, I’m going to end this post right now. It’s time to move on.

SoCS — The Ponzi Scheme

C582E9AE-AD58-4CDB-AA22-224B12FD1339For this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, Linda G. Hill has directed us to “find a word that uses ‘co’ as a prefix and use it in your post.”

When I read this prompt, I was reminded of a brother and sister I used to know back in the day. They were very close. One might even say that they were overly close. They seemed to be totally codependent. You never saw one without the other.

After they graduated from college, they became coworkers at the same financial planning firm. They even bought a co-op together in Manhattan in which they cohabitated.

They became very successful at their jobs, but the two of them fell in with a few unscrupulous coworkers at their firm and participated in a Ponzi scheme in which they bilked their clients out of millions of dollars.

Once the scheme was uncovered, the brother and sister went before the grand jury and were indicted as co-conspirators in the fraudulent scheme. As co-defendants in the criminal case that was brought against them, they met with their co-counsels and agreed to cooperate with the authorities. Claiming to have been co-opted by a few bad apples at the firm, they testified against their coworkers. As a result, they were granted the ability to co-exist at the co-op they bought, rather than face prison time.

That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.