SoCS — Monster-in-Law

For this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, Linda G. Hill has asked us to “take the title of the last movie you watched (just the title, not the premise of the movie), and base your post on that title.”

It so happens that the other night my wife was so sick and tired of all the political bullshit that is swirling all around us that she insisted we turn off the news and watch a lightweight romantic comedy. I handed her the remote control and said go for it. She searched the on-demand movies and found “Monster-in-Law,” starring Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda. So I guess I have to write a post based upon the title of that movie. Yikes.

Frank’s young bride, Elsa, was feeling very anxious about finally meeting her new husband’s mother. She never really understood why Frank had refused to invite his own mother to the wedding. She assumed it was because his mother wouldn’t approve of their marriage. But Frank denied that, and kept coming up with different excuses for not introducing Elsa to his mother.

Elsa finally insisted that she meet Frank’s mother. “She’s my mother-in-law, Frank,” Elsa said to him, “and when we have children, she’ll be their grandmother.”

Frank finally acquiesced to his wife’s demands and made arrangements for them to fly to Germany, where his family was from, to visit his mother. When the day came for them to leave, both Frank and Elsa were nervous, but for different reasons.

Their plane arrived in Zurich and they then took a three and a half hour train ride from there to the middle of Germany’s Black Forest region. Frank had arranged for a car to drive them from the train station to the home where Frank’s mother lived.

When they arrived at his mother’s home an hour later, Frank’s mother opened the door to greet them, but the sight of the woman caused Elsa to let out an involuntary gasp.47600272-1448-4D70-82CB-2D4F282EE517 “Mother, this is my wife, Elsa,” Frank said. Then turning toward Elsa, he said, “Elsa, this is my mother.”

Frank’s mother, apparently used to such reactions when people met her for the first time, smiled, reached out and hugged Elsa. Then she stepped back and said to Elsa, “It’s such a pleasure, my dear, to finally meet the bride of Frank N. Stein.”

SoCS — First Three Words

For today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, Linda G. Hill has upped the ante a bit. She’s asked us to:

  1. Grab the closest book to you when you sit down to write your post.
  2. Open it to a random page.
  3. Locate the first complete sentence on that page.
  4. Use the first three words of that sentence to start your post.
  5. Then take it from there and write whatever comes to mind.

All of my books are on my iPhone’s Kindle app, so I chose fellow blogger Iain Kelly’s book, A Justified State, opened it up to page 81 (in the Kindle version) and the first three words of the first complete sentence were, “She had seen.”3CF7274B-8240-496E-84B6-2C0A92EFA823So let’s see what my stream of consciousness brain can conjure up from those three words along with today’s six daily prompt words, shall we?

She had seen the model wearing her creation many times before, but this time it looked a little different. It was not fitting the way it should have, and the fashion show was scheduled to start in less that two hours.

Carolyn knew it had been a mistake to permit the show coordinator to have access to her creations. The world of haute couture was not just competitive, but cutthroat. She should never have let her guard down like this.

She motioned for the model to come over to her. “There’s something wrong,” she said to the model. “The pants, they don’t fit the way they’re supposed to, the way they did earlier today.” The model — so tall, so thin, so beautiful, so empty — just stood there.

“Is there anything you have to tell me?” Carolyn said to the model, more as a demand than a question. “I hope that you’re not a part of this demonic scheme to ruin me.”

The model started to cry. “I’m so sorry, Carolyn,” she said, “but Felicia gave me five thousand dollars to give her access to this pantsuit. Can you forgive me!”

“That bitch, Felicia, couldn’t design her way out of a wet paper bag,” Carolyn said. “I’m tempted to fire you, Charlotte, but if you’ll accompany me to the police when I report Felicia to the authorities and are willing to corroborate that it was Felicia who paid you off to sabotage my show tonight, I might just keep you on as my top model if you promise to never do anything like this ever again.”

“I promise,” Charlotte said, reaching over and hugging Carolyn.

In addition to today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, this tale was written for these daily prompts: The Daily Spur (model), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (permit), Daily Addictions (pants), Ragtag Daily Prompt (hope),   Word of the Day Challenge (scheme), and Your Daily Word Prompt (corroborate).

SoCS — Must See TV

For today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, Linda G. Hill gave us “ow.” She said, “find a word that contains ‘ow’ or use it as a word in your post.

I know that I said no less than three times in my Share Your World post earlier this week that, in order to reduce stress and maintain my sanity in 2020, I was to going to stop watching so much cable news. And that is, indeed, my plan.

That said, though, there is one cable news show I consider to be “must see TV,” and that’s “The Rachel Maddow Show.” 7D2AE061-2099-4419-B4BF-7BD83C688265If you’ve never watched Rachel Maddow, who is on MSNBC weeknights at 9 pm Eastern time, you should tune in. She’s different from most other cable news hosts. She doesn’t have half a dozen talking head pundits trying to get themselves heard above the din. Most nights she’s alone, although sometimes she’ll bring in one big name in political circles for what she calls “The Interview.” And when she does have guests on her show, she doesn’t kowtow or bow down to anyone. She asks the really tough, hard hitting questions, the kinds of questions you want answers to.

Rachel connects the dots. She typically begins her show with a 20 to 25 minute segment that takes a deep dive into one of the day’s pressing political matters. That segment is educational and enlightening. She tries to tell those who watch her show something that they may not have already heard on other cable news shows. There are many nights when I say to myself, “Wow, I had no idea.”

And when it comes to how she covers the Trump administration, her mantra is, “Don’t pay attention to what they say, focus on what they do.” Because, she adds, “it’s easier to cover a fast-moving story when you’re not distracted by whatever the White House denials are.”

So if you have any interest in politics but only have time to watch one cable news show, give “The Rachel Maddow Show” a shot. I’m sure, like me, you’ll be wowed. Well, unless you’re a Republican or a Trump fan.

Or maybe especially if you are a Republican or a Trump fan.

SoCS — The Year in Review

B6DE1368-B4DA-43CC-9E2C-752AF907A35ALinda G. Hill gave us the word “year” for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. Even though, including today, there are still four days left to this year, I decided to take this opportunity to offer up my top 10 posts of 2019. I’m doing this now because I’ve got surgery scheduled for Monday, December 30th and I don’t know, assuming I survive the surgery, when I’ll be recuperated enough to get back to my blog.

But, surgery aside, this list is not a qualitative one. It’s strictly quantitative, listing my 10 posts that received the most views in 2019, exclusive of any of my prompt posts (e.g., FOWC with Fandango). So here we go with the top 10:

#1. Remember last summer when a website called Tygpress was harvesting our posts and, without our permission, was publishing them on its own site? Well, my post,, garnered 669 views this year.

#2. I guess a lot of people wanted to know more about Fandango because my Who Am I page got 566 views.

#3. When I created a badge for people to put on their posts so it would show up on posts harvested by Tygpress, my Feel Free to Use This Badge post was viewed 547 times.

#4. My post, Thoughts and Prayers My Ass, was a screed about mass shootings in the U.S. and how having politicians sending out their thoughts and prayers while refusing to enact common sense gun laws is totally useless. That post received 333 views.

#5. Another post related to mass shootings was Do People Really Believe This Shit? This post was about a state senator in Ohio who blamed the breakdown of the traditional American family, recreational marijuana, homosexual marriage, drag queen advocates, violent video games, open borders, kneeling athletes, and ignoring the importance of God and the church for gun violence in America. 244 people read it.

#6. Donald Trump, in a tweet, accused two freshman U.S. congressional representatives, Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib, of hating Israel and all Jewish people. 239 people read my post They Hate All Jews.

#7. This post, We Did It! — Maybe, was yet another post about Tygpress, but this was one to announce that our efforts to stop that site from harvesting the posts of WordPress bloggers had paid off when Tygpress shut down its site. Yay! The post received 196 views.

#8. Remember when WordPress used to have its daily word prompts? Well, my post, Snidely Whiplash, which was originally posted in 2018 but got more views (187) this year than in 2018, was written in response to the prompt word “cur.”

#9. A few of the on-air personalities at Fox News reported that liberals “want to change the name Thanksgiving. They don’t want to use the term Thanksgiving.” So of course when Donald Trump, who always watches Fox News, saw the story, he started tweeting about this bogus assertion. 166 people wanted to learn more about this so-called War on Thanksgiving.

#10. In my post WTF Blogger? I complained (or some might say whined) about the fact that I was unable to “like” the posts of Blogger bloggers who read, liked, and/or commented on my posts on WordPress. I also pointed out how difficult, if not impossible, it was for a non-Blogger blogger (i.e., a WordPress blogger), to leave a comment on a Blogger blogger’s posts. This post received 160 views.

There you have it: Fandango’s 10 most viewed posts in 2019 through midnight last night.

How about all of you? I’d love to learn about your 10 most popular posts for this year. Publish your own top 10 list and link back to this post.

SoCS — Office Christmas Party

21A2CA0D-ECC2-4547-B483-C53509B424F3“I’m not going,” Dave said. “I’m just not into all of that meaningless bullshit.”

“Oh come on, man. It’s a Christmas party. It will be fun,” Jake said. “Everyone will be drinking and singing songs like ‘Jingle Bells’ and ‘Winter Wonderland.’ Henry plans to dress up like Kris Kringle. That will be a hoot. Plus, there are going to be loads of single women there. We can mingle with a few of the prize fillies, and who knows, maybe you’ll hit pay dirt.”

“You’re so uncouth, Jake,” Dave said. “Why do you always have to play the role of ringleader all the time? I’m just not in the mood.”

“You know, buddy, Anita will be there tonight. I know you’ve had your eye on her, am I right?” Jake said.

“Yeah, she’s cool, but we’ve barely spoken to one another,” Dave said.

“She’s not cool, dude, she’s damn hot,” Jake said, licking his lips. “If you play your cards right, my friend, I bet by the end of the night she’ll make your dingleberries tingle.”

“You’re just gross,” Dave said. “I’m not going and that’s final.”

“So what are you gonna do instead,” Jake said, “sit around watching TV and jerking off? Boring!”

“Wait here,” Dave said. He left the room and returned a few seconds later carrying a six pack of Bud and two long, round tubes. He tossed one of the tubes to Jake. “Let’s binge watch ‘Jack Ryan’ on Amazon Prime.”

Jake looked at the tube Dave had tossed to him. “Beer and Pringles! Why did you say so, dude?”

Written for today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill. In case you didn’t already guess it, Linda asked us ”find a word that contains ‘ingle’ and use it any way you’d like in your post.” I found nine words! Woo hoo!