The Wedding Toast

E1B042AA-3F28-4DC1-A467-DA9E89DFB908.jpeg“Please, honey,” John’s wife said, “try not to be so verbose this time.”

“Hey, Elaine, was that a dig?” John said, a friendly grin on his face.

“No, sweetheart, just a suggestion to keep it short,” Elaine said. “You do have a tendency to go on an on, flapping your waddle when you make a long speech.”

“My waddle?”

“Yes, babe,” Elaine said. “Ever since you lost all that weight you’ve got a bunch of loose skin under your chin that flaps when you talk. It’s really distracting.”

“That was an unkind thing to say,” John said, feigning hurt.

Elaine walked up to John, grabbed his waddle and fondled it. “I love your waddle, John, I really do. You remind me of that sexy Mitch McConnell.” Then she kissed his lips. “All the other wives are green with envy that I have a hubby with such a magnificent chin waddle.”

John smiled and returned his wife’s kiss. “Thanks, I think,” he said.

“But that not withstanding,” Elaine said, “you really do need to transcend that tendency of yours to drone on and on when someone hands you a microphone. Remember, when asked to give a wedding toast to the bride and groom, to keep it crisp.”

Written for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (verbose),  Daily Addictions (dig), Word of the Day Challenge (waddle) The Daily Spur (green), Your Daily Word Prompt (transcend), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (crisp).

Share Your World — Deep Thoughts and Whatnots

Share Your WorldMelanie, over at Sparks From a Combustible Mind, Is going deep and provocative on us this week with one of her Share Your World questions. So let’s give it a go.

If confronted with a violent crime against a single individual in progress (severe beating, rape, assault) do you try to do something about it (phone authorities or confront the criminal, stop the crime) or do you figure it’s none of your business and walk or drive on by? Or would you merely record the crime for social media use without doing anything else?

At the very least I would call 9-1-1 (emergency). If there was a way for me to safely intervene to stop the attack I would. If not, after calling 9-1-1, I would take pictures or videos of the attack to give to the authorities once they arrived on scene.

Okay now we got the heavy stuff out of the way, let’s get to some less stressful questions.

If someone asked to be your apprentice and learn all that you know, what would you teach them?

I’d teach them that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. In other words, leave well enough alone. Having recently been burned when it comes to operating system and app upgrades, this is the best advise I can think of at the moment.

First think of a product. Now, what would be the absolute worst brand name for one of those products?

Product: Adult Diapers; Brand Name: Shit Skivvies.

What ridiculous and untrue, yet slightly plausible, theories can you come up with for the cause of common ailments like headaches or cavities?

Headaches — Spending too much uninterrupted time blogging on you computer, tablet, or smartphone.

Cavities — Brushing your teeth too vigorously. It wears off the enamel, making your teeth more susceptible to cavities.

Weekly Song Challenge

9FC24DBF-795E-468A-8F5E-D6928D4F45A9For this week’s Weekly Song Challenge, Laura has asked us to post videos about our favorite song from a list of artists, a song from the year we were born, and one from the year we graduated from high school.

Her rules are:

  • Copy the rules and add them to our own post, pinging back to Laura’s post.
  • Post music videos for our answers to the musical questions.
  • Tag two people anyone who wants to participate!

So here goes.

1. Post a video of your favorite song by any of these artists:

Elton John
REO Speedwagon
Bon Jovi
Neil Diamond

2. Post a hit song from the year you were born.

According to Billboard, this was the number one song for the year I was born.

3. Post a video of a song that was popular the year you graduated from high school.

Okay, your turn!

Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #34

FFFCWelcome to “Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge.” Each week I will be posting a photo I grab off the internet and challenge bloggers to write a relatively short flash fiction piece inspired by the photo. While there are no definitive style or word limits, I suggest trying to keep your posts to under 300 words.

I want to sincerely thank everyone who has participated in these challenges so far. Your posts have been very creative. I hope this week’s image will also generate some great posts as well.

So now it’s time for this week’s Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge. The image below is from Michael Gaida at this picture inspires you and you wish to participate, please write your post, use the tag #FFFC, and link back to this post.

The issue with pingbacks not showing up seems to have been resolved, but you might check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

Please take a few minutes to read some of the other responses to this photo challenge.

FOWC with Fandango — Verbose

FOWCWelcome to September 30, 2019 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “verbose.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

The issue with pingbacks not showing up seems to have been resolved, but you might check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.