It Doesn’t Really Matter

She’s a middle-of-the-road candidate, a real namby pamby fence sitter,” Josh said. “I don’t mean to belittle the woman, but she’s not right for the job of magistrate.”

“I think you’ve got it all wrong about her,” Jen said. “She’s deceptively smart and I think she’s a superlative candidate. On top of that she’s got the support of most voters. Face it, Josh, only a relatively small fraction of the voters support your guy.”

“I’m not worried, Jen,” Josh said. “My guy’s party is in control of the election apparatus in the state, so it doesn’t really matter who gets the most votes. Your gal is going to lose.”


Written for the the following daily prompts: The Daily Spur (middle), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (belittle), My Vivid Blog (woman), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (magistrate), Word of the Day Challenge (deceptive), Ragtag Daily Prompt (superlative), and Your Daily Word Prompt (fraction). Image credit: Getty Images.

This might seem like a far-fetched scenario. But the fact is that the U.S. Supreme Court is currently hearing a case — Moore v. Harper — that, if approved, would grant state legislatures significantly more power over federal elections. This case is sponsored by Republicans and a favorable decision could allow Republican state legislatures to set the rules for federal elections — even if they result in partisan gerrymandering or violate state constitutions. In other words, these Republican-controlled states could set up election rules that would essentially assure Republican victories in gubernatorial elections, U.S. congressional elections, and presidential elections. And given the 6-3 conservative majority on the high court, there’s a good chance that the Republicans will get their way.

The Cockroach

“In my culture, it’s not appropriate to kill another living creature,” Asma said.

“What about a cockroach?” Hal asked. “Isn’t it okay to step on and squash a lowly cockroach?”

“No, not even a lowly cockroach,” Asma said. “Cockroaches have an integral ecological role. They are professional recyclers, feasting on just about anything, including dead plants and animals, and animal waste.”

“Okay, well what about a werewolf?” Hal asked. “In your culture is it okay to shoot and kill a werewolf with a silver bullet?”

Asma shook her head, and thought, this conversation is turning surreal. Then she looked at Hal and said, “You know that werewolves are fictional beasts and don’t really exist, don’t you?”

“That’s irrelevant,” Hal said. “Answer the question. Is it permissible to shoot a werewolf with a silver bullet?”

“If you want to shoot a mythical creature with a silver bullet, knock yourself out, Hal,” Asma said. “Just not a cockroach.”

“Whatever,” Hal said dismissively. “I’m thirsty. Do you want to share a lemon-lime soda?”

Asma nodded and Hal took her by the hand and they walked into kitchen. When Hal turned on the light, Asma screamed when she saw a big cockroach streaking across the kitchen floor. Hal ran over and quickly stepped on it. Then he turned to Asma and sheepishly asked, “Are you angry that I killed that cockroach?”

Asma smile and said, “No, but I would have preferred it if you’d have used a silver bullet.”


Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (culture), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (squash), Your Daily Word Prompt (integral), The Daily Spur (wolf), Word of the Day Challenge (surreal), and E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (lemon-lime).

Apologize

“You look like shit, dude. Your eyes are red and your skin looks yellow and clammy. You are the very portrait of a drunk with a bad hangover,” Dan said when he met Dwight at the coffee shop.

Red and yellow? Oh man, Dan, I’m in a real pickle,” Dwight said. “I got drunk last night and, of course, opened my mouth when I shouldn’t have.”

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“That’s just it,” Dwight said. “I must have said something dumb or irrational that got Barbara really upset or angry because she slapped me and ran out of the tavern in tears. I don’t remember what I said, but based upon the number of empty beer mugs on the table, I can guess it wasn’t good.

“You need to reach out to Barbara and apologize for whatever it is that you said,” Dan advised. “And then you need to stop drinking to excess if you aspire to keep her as your girlfriend.


Written for these daily prompts: My Vivid Blog (portrait), Ragtag Daily Prompt (red & yellow), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (pickle), The Daily Spur (mouth), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (irrational), Word of the Day Challenge (numbers), and Your Daily Word Prompt (aspire).

Perchance to Dream

I was quite perplexed by a dream I had last night. At the beginning of the dream I saw two hippopotamuses wearing tutus and swing dancing to the Benny Goodman song, “Sing, Sing, Sing.”

It was fascinating. Until my fun dream turned into a nightmare.

The happy, swing-dancing hippos suddenly transformed into a group of living mops who carried buckets and buckets of water and dumped them all onto the floor, turning my house into complete disarray.

I woke up in a sweat, with a twinge of regret. My wife warned me when we were watching Disney’s classic animated movie “Fantasia” last night that eating a pastrami sandwich right before bedtime would give me indigestion. I think she jinxed me.


Written for these daily prompts prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (perplexed), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (hippopotamus), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (swing), The Daily Spur (compete), Your Daily Word Prompt (disarray), My Vivid Blog (twinge), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (jinx).

Loaded Nachos

“I’m sorry for the delay,” the waiter said. “May I take your order?”

“I am not very happy with your service. I was getting ready to berate you to your manager when you didn’t respond to my waving at you or calling out to you,” Cliff said. “But in spite of how long it took you to get to our table, you’re finally here and I’m ready to order. We’d like a large platter of loaded nachos, but use the chips that are the kind with hint of citrus flavor and are crisp and crunchy. Make sure they are fresh and not stale. And we’ll also have a large pitcher of sangria. Make it snappy, will you?” Cliff added, snapping his fingers.

After the waiter left, Cliff turned to the other people sitting at the table and said, “So as I was saying, San Francisco is a very hilly city, but the section we live in is very flat and quite walkable.”

The waiter returned to the table and set down a huge platter of loaded nachos on the table. “Here you go sir,” he said to Cliff. “Just like you ordered them.”

The waiter turned and walked away, a sardonic smile on his face. Just like you ordered them, except for the two gobs of spit I added, he thought.


Written for these daily prompts: The Daily Spur (delay), My Vivid Blog (happy), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (berated), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (spite), Ragtag Daily Prompt (citrus), Your Daily Word Prompt (crisp), and Word of the Day Challenge (crunchy).

Also for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Opposing Forces Saturday Mix, where the words are “fresh/stale” and “flat/hilly.”