Fractured Fairy Tale

Magic CastleThe new king was introduced with a flourish. He walked to the microphone and started to speak. “Welcome to my magic, royal Trump Castle, formerly known as The White House,” King Donald said to his adoring subjects. “I’ve made some long overdue and sorely belated, but critical improvements, like the alligator and snake infested moat, two incredibly classy towers, two battle turrets, a dungeon for the press, a keep, and of course, a big, beautiful wall. Now if you would like to approach me and kiss my ring, please line up.”

As Mitch and Lindsey pushed to the front of the line, Lindsey asked Mitch, “How should I address him?”

Mitch said to Lindsey, “Whatever you do, don’t refer to him as ‘Your Royal Jackass.’ He hates that.”

And then Devin said, “And whatever you do, don’t invoke Obama’s name. He’ll go ballistic.”

Vladimir called out to those in line. “Speed it up, you all. The king is hosting a royal dinner tonight for Sean Hannity and his friends at Fox.”

Written for the Tale Weaver prompt from Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, where we are asked to write a fairy tale about a magic castle. Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (flourish), The Daily Spur (subject), Word of the Day (belated), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (address), Your Daily Word Prompt (invoke), and Daily Addictions (speed).

The Only Way To Eat Steak

Rare steakI am an unabashed meat eater. It’s probably not very healthy for me, but I’m not losing any sleep over my dietary habits.

My daughter is a vegetarian, which I, as someone who has eaten meat all my life, find a bit eccentric. But hey, whatever floats your boat, right? I mean if someone wants to sing for their supper, who am I to criticize?

But if you’re going to eat steak, there is only one way to do it: mediumrare. When I was growing up, my father insisted that my mother prepare any meats we ate to be well-done. Even the slightest hint of red or pink in the meat would result in my father demanding that my mother stick the meat back in the oven for further cooking. As a result, I grew up with that same preference for well-done steak as my father had.

But one day, I was in a fine restaurant with a young lady I was dating, and when she heard me tell the waiter that I wanted my filet mignon prepared well-done, she was aghast “Please,” she said. “I beg you, order it medium-rare. You won’t regret it.” 

The waiter smiled and said, “She’s absolutely right, sir. Besides, our chef will not prepare, and I won’t serve, a filet mignon well-done.” In addition, I really liked the girl I was dining with, so I acquiesced.

When the steak was served, and I was amazed. It was so tasty, so juicy, so delicious. By the time I finished eating that piece of meat, I felt like I was experiencing a sexual climax.

(Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but how else was I supposed to fit the word “climax” into this post?)

So tell me. If you are a meat eater, how do you like your meat to be prepared?

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (sleep), Your Daily Word Prompt (eccentric), Daily Addictions (sing), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (rare), The Daily Spur (addition), and Word of the Day Challenge (climax).

Strange and Scary Mind

I no longer recognize the country I love and in which I live. There is an ocean full of irrefutable evidence that the President of the United States has attempted to strong-arm the leader of a foreign county (Ukraine) to conduct an investigation into a bogus claim relating to corruption by Trump’s political rival, Joe Biden. It’s a clear violation of federal election laws to accept aid or assistance from a foreign government to influence an American election.

The draft Articles of Impeachment issued today by the Judiciary Committee include the abuse the power of the President’s office and obstruction of Congress in its investigation of Trump’s conduct regarding Ukraine. Yet virtually all Republicans in both houses of Congress see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil when it comes to Trump.

F06933EC-F64C-443A-B457-46F1C697C158So while he may be impeached by the Democratic majority in the House of Representatives, thanks to his unwavering support by the Republican majority in the Senate, he will skate, basically granting Trump the powers of a dictator.

The Toilet Assumption

Aside from that, this vacant-minded moron has directed his EPA to “look very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms where you turn the faucet on.” This after Trump claimed that Americans have to flush the toilet 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.1B32878D-BF4B-4A84-BBBE-9B1339B966FBWhen was the last time it took you more than one flush to take care of your business? I can only surmise that Trump is so full of shit that it takes 10 to 15 flushes to drain his swamp.

A Friend in High Places

The Department of Justice Inspector General released a report of the IG’s review of the origins of the FBI investigation into potential conspiracy between Russia and Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign. The report tended to exonerate the FBI, as the investigators found “no documentary or testimonial evidence” that FBI officials were driven by political bias against Trump when they opened the probe.

03A6CAE1-6CD1-413C-9A3C-E2D4D9DA908FBut that didn’t stop Attorney General William Barr from rejecting that key conclusion of the investigation conducted by his own agency’s watchdog.

Barr, in a lengthy statement, called the FBI’s investigation into Moscow’s interference “intrusive” and said it had been launched “on the thinnest of suspicions.” Barr’s behavior since he assumed his AG role makes it appear that he believes his primary purpose is to protect Donald Trump, rather than to protect the interests of America and the Constitution.

Tweet Barrage

Our very busy president managed to fire off 105 tweets and retweets tweet on Sunday afternoon and evening. One of his retweets included this delusional, ego-boosting image of Trump’s head Photoshopped onto the torso of Rocky Balboa.20BC845F-18C0-4A24-A404-3EFB5918F2BCIt’s hard to fathom what goes on in that dark and murky pool of this man’s strange and scary mind.

Written for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (live), Word of the Day Challenge (ocean), Ragtag Daily Prompt (vacant), The Daily Spur (friend), Your Daily Word Prompt (purpose), and Daily Addictions (pool).

My Fiery Little Vixen

Underground spring

“Do you remember how we met?” Sarah asked Matt.

“Oh boy, do I,” Matt said, a wry smile on his face. “You were so angry at me for what you called my ‘flagrant foul’ during that flag football game on the campus quad.”

Sarah started laughing and Matt joined her in her laughter. “Yes,” Sarah said, “and one of the characteristics I love about you is your ability to indulge my occasionally explosive temper.”

“And that, my fiery little vixen,” Matt said, “is why I take you to serene and peaceful places like this, where the air is calm and where it’s so quiet that the only sounds we hear are the beating of our two hearts.”

Written for Sadje’s What Do You See? prompt. Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (flagrant), Word of the Day Challenge (quad), The Daily Spur (laughter), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (indulge), Daily Addictions (air), and Your Daily Word Prompt (quiet). Image credit: Pinterest.

Weekend Writing Prompt — The Battle Ahead

4255360B-1297-4522-8840-84D353C1B574The excitement was palpable within the rebel camp. The leader jumped up onto the stage to give a pre-battle motivational speech.

“On this frosty December morning,” he began, “I’m not here today to regale you with my words. We face a fight for our nation’s destiny. We are outnumbered and outgunned, and I must be honest with you, the odds are stacked against us. And if we fail today, life as we know it in the nation we love will be over, so our mission can’t be any more critical.”

A murmur rose among the ragtag group of rebel volunteers. “But should we prevail today, the tyrant will soon be sailing off into the yellow sunset,” the rebel leader shouted out. “So, men, let’s gird our loins and fight for our futures. We must breach the barricade!”

(136 words)

F5D1446A-BC6F-45F9-8811-735C86287BCA Written for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt, where we are challenged to write a poem or piece of prose using the word “barricade” in exactly 136 words. Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (excitement), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (stage), Your Daily Word Prompt (regale), Word of the Day Challenge (frosty), The Daily Spur (sailing), and Daily Addictions (yellow).