My wife asked me if I knew what the key to a happy marriage is.

My son asked me if I knew what the key to success is.

My daughter asked me if I knew what the key to raising children is.

My friend asked me if I knew what the key to a strong and lasting friendship is.

My subordinate asked me if I knew what the key to getting promoted is.

My doctor asked me if I knew what the key to good health is.

My clergyman asked me if I knew what the key to paradise is.

I said to them all, “How the fuck would I know? I don’t even know where the key to my goddam car is.”

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Written for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill, where the prompt word is “key.”