Rory’s Strange Questions

Rory, at Earthly Comforts, has, once again, posed a bunch of interesting strange questions. Here are my equally interesting strange answers.

Roses are red,
?,
?,
?
.
[I have started you off now finish the poem your way in the next three lines]

Roses are red
Republicans are too
If they take back Congress in November
We’ll all be standing in deep poopoo

What do you find odd about people?

People.

Which two questions are you asked the most on a regular basis that annoy you?

  • What do you do for a living? I’m fucking retired, can’t you see that?
  • What religion are you?

Who was the first Disney princess – Snow White or Cinderella?

Snow White? Or Cinderella? I don’t know and I don’t care.

What five questions would you ask a stranger in order to get to know them?

  • What’s your name?
  • Where are you from?
  • Are you married?
  • Do you have any kids?
  • Do you wanna have sex with me?

What habits do you consider really bad?

Smoking cigarettes.

Who was the female star of Breakfast at Tiffany’s?

Audrey Hepburn

Which Shakespeare play includes the following words? “Once more onto the breach, dear friends?”

The one I haven’t read, apparently.

Turkish Delight is a type of custard. True or false.

False. I think it’s some sort of chewy candy.

Have you ever seen something you simply couldn’t easily explain away and if so what was it?

Yes, anyone who still supports Donald Trump.

What is the difference between six and half a dozen?

The number of syllables.

What can you NOT compost?

Kitty litter and dog poop.

What is a major component of Welsh Rarebit?

Cheese?

How long is long in your eyes?

Either too long or not long enough, depending upon what we’re talking about?

Are butterflies attracted more to flowers or weeds – what do you think?

Flowers, I think.

One of your best friends has phoned for your help in the middle of the night to bury the body of your other best friend – do you help or not?

Fuck no.

Vatican City is a country – true or false?

For some inexplicable reason, it’s considered to be a country.

Name three things that freak you out and then explain why.

Far-right Republicans, white supremacists, and conspiracy theorists. Why? Do I really need to explain?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To buy a dozen eggs at the local farm stand.

Bonus Question

What’s the worst thing that could happen to a compost pile do you think?

Construct an outhouse on top of it, maybe. Or perhaps that’s the best thing that could happen to it.

Fibbing Friday — Jim Wants To Know

Di (aka Pensitivity101) and Melanie (Sparks From a Combustible Mind) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Since Melanie is still temporarily out of commission, Di is back hosting, and this week she turned to Jim Adams for some interesting questions.

1. Why did all the dinosaurs die?

Old age.

2. Why are there so many stories about the great flood?

Because it was so great!

3. What happened at Hadrian’s wall?

Humpty Dumpty sat on it and fell.

4. How long was the hundred years war?

Fifteen years because its duration was measured in dog years.

5. Why was it all quiet on the western front?

Because that’s where the library was.

6. What was the Boxer Rebellion all about?

It was about how the dogs at the puppy mill, many of them boxers, rioted because of the way they were treated.

7. What caused the Titanic to sink?

It was hit by a torpedo shot from a German U-boat.

8. Why do they want us to remember the Main?

Because the main circuit box controls the power to the house and it’s good to remember where it is so you can reset the circuits and restore power in case of an outage.

9. What happened to Amelia Earhart?

She flew the coop.

10. Who was involved in the Iran Contra scandal?

The so-called scandal occurred when I ran in a half marathon race the wrong way, contrary to the designated route.

Fibbing Friday — Alter Egos

Di (aka Pensitivity101) and Melanie (Sparks From a Combustible Mind) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Since Melanie is still temporarily out of commission, Di is back and she is asking us to come up with alter egos for the individuals on her list.

1. Boris Johnson: Donald Trump

2. Madonna: The Virgin Mary
3. Victoria Beckham: Twiggy

4. Roger Federer: Roger Rabbit
5. James Bond: Maxwell Smart

6. Ebenezer Scrooge: Scrooge McDuck
7. H.G. Wells: Doctor Who
8. Agatha Christie: Angela Lansbury
9. Liberace: Billy Joel
10. Winston Churchill: Franklin Delano Roosevelt

One-Liner Wednesday — A Stable Genius

Stephen Colbert, on this past Thursday’s “Late Show,” reacted to the news that former president Donald Trump once tried to pay his lawyer with a horse. Colbert’s response to that news was:

“I don’t know why we’re surprised. After all, he did describe himself as a ‘stable genius.’”


Written for Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday prompt.

SoCS — Please Be Silent

Okay, everyone, please be silent. I need you all to listen carefully and follow my instructions. I want the following individuals to go stand in front of the letter B: Debt, Doubt, and Subtle.

Now will Obscene, Scissors, and Scene move over to the letter C? And Wednesday, I need you to stand before the letter D.

Align, Assign, and Resign, head to the letter G. Gnaw and Gnome, please join them.

You all are doing great. Let’s have Echo, Scheme, School, and Weigh find your way to the letter H.

Knack, Knee, Knit, Kneel, and Knot, will you please stand by the letter K? Could and Would, would you mind, if you could, assembling under the letter L? Thanks.

Alrighty then, we’re making a lot of progress here. I’d like Autumn, Damn, Solemn, and Column to find your way to the letter N.

Pneumonia, Psychic, Pseudonym, and receipt, please move to the letter P.

Castle, Listen, Often, and Fasten, if you could find your way to the letter T, I’d appreciate it.

I’d like Build, Guitar, Guess, and Rogue to please make your way to the letter U.

And finally, Sword, Wrap, Wring, Wrong, and Wrist, I’d like you to go stand in front of the letter W.

Okay, everyone. You have each been selected because of your special characteristics. You will be participating in a very important job in the English as a Second Language class and your mission, as words with silent letters, is to really fuck with the heads of those poor, unsuspecting student who won’t know what hit them.

So be proud and go out there an wreak some havoc. No doubt your efforts will drive some of these folks psycho!


Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, where Linda has asked us to choose a word that contains a silent letter and use it in our post, or write about words with silent letters in general.