Jackie Mason, American stand-up comedian and film and television actor
Jackie Mason, a master at observational and improvisational comedy passed away this past Saturday at the age of 93.
Written for Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday prompt.
Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.
1. According to the old TV commercial, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
None. All you need it a nut cracker to break open the hard candy shell and voila, you’re at the center of the pop.
2.What did George the Grocer, a.k.a. Mr. Whipple, ask us not to squeeze in his store?
Mrs. Whipple’s melons.
3. What song begins with the lyrics, “Livin’ on spongecake…”?
The theme song to the SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon show.
4. According to the song, “Do You Know the Way to San Jose,” L.A. is a great big what?
L.A. is a great big homage to the oversized egos of movie stars.
5. What does Tony the Tiger say about Kellog’s Frosted Flakes?
“They’re better than snorting cocaine if you wanna get a sugar high, kids!”
6. Aside from caramel-covered popcorn and peanuts, what can be found inside a box of Cracker Jacks?
A trip to the dentist after you break a tooth biting down onto of those stale peanuts in the box.
7. What does Lucky the Leprechaun say that kids are always after?
The ice cream man.
8. What toy was touted by its jingle as being “fun for a girl and a boy”?
Sea Monkeys.
9. According to its marketing, what product just “keeps going and going and going…”?
The slinky.
19. Who was known as “The Man of a Thousand Voices”?
Donald Trump. Oh wait, I’m sorry. Donald Trump was know as “The Man of a Thousand Lies.”
Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.
How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.
If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 23rd) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.
This was originally posted on July 23, 2017.
“So what shall we do for kicks today?” Penny asked her boyfriend, Art.
“How about a road trip?” Art suggested.
“Cool! Where to?”
“We can get our kicks on Route 66,” Art answered.
“Maybe we should just stay here and kick back,” Penny said.
“Okay, fine,” said Art. “Whatcha got to drink?”
“I get no kicks from champagne,” Penny replied.
“Ain’t that a kick in the head!” said Art.
“But I do get a kick out of you,” Penny purred, winking suggestively at Art.
“Now that’s a kick-ass thing to say,” Art beamed.
“I lied,” Penny admitted. “I want to kick the shit out of you.”
“Hey, kick me while I’m down, why don’t you?” Art joked.
Penny put her arms around Art’s neck and sensually whispered in his ear, “Kick me, Art.”
“Okay, Babe, but just for kicks,” Art said as he pressed his lips to hers.
This post is my contribution to Sandi’s Manic Monday challenge. Each week Sandi gives a song title and challenges us to write a post using the title of the song. This week’s song title is “Kicks,” released in 1966 by Paul Revere and the Raiders.
Sammi Cox has challenged us to write a 58 word post using the word “tessellate.”
I’ve never heard of or used that word before.
So I googled it. Tessellate means “to form into or adorn with mosaic.”
Now all I have to do is to figure out how to fit it into a post.
Fuhgeddaboudit. I give up.
(58 words)
Written for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt.
Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Di’s turn to host and here are her questions.
1. What is an ant farm?
It’s the place where parents tell their young kids that ants go when they die.
2. What is a flea market?
It’s where you go to buy fleas — fried, chocolate covered, baked, etc. The make very high in protein, crunchy snacks.
3. What was the War of the Roses about?
It was about two competitive rose growers in a small town who ended up destroying each other’s rose bushes.
4. If they’d been invented at the time, what car would Robin Hood have driven?
A Pierce-Arrow.
5. What are pieces of eight?
Parts for a simple children’s puzzle with eight pieces.
6. Where would you find a clapper?
In the audience.
7. What is a cowlette?
A baby cow.
8. What is chicken wire used for?
Hanging newly beheaded chickens by their claws to let the blood drain out.
9. What is a toady?
A baby toad.
10. What is a nail file?
It’s a tool cabinet with drawers where nails are stored, sorted by size.
