Humor

Rory’s Weekend Quickie

Fandango18 Comments

Rory is asking us, once again, if we fancy a weekend quickie. Why the hell not, I say.

How do you like your sausages – straight, curved, short, long, fat, or thin? Or do you not even like sausages?
Interpret as you wish ….

I prefer oysters.

How often [under normal circumstances] would you visit a hairdressers/barbers in one year?

Never. I shave my head by myself once every two weeks.

What is it specifically do you think about humor that makes you laugh – as in ‘what’s so funny to you?’ Why do you laugh at some things and not others – what is the magical ingredient for you?

Timing, delivery, and the unexpected.

If you were convinced you had seen an alien or a UFO [from another planet] how would you make people believe you or would you not tell anyone?

I’d keep my mouth shut. Although I might post about it on my blog because I’m anonymous. You’d believe me, wouldn’t you?

Do you know what your place is in the world – where you fit in – and is that important to you?

My place in the world is wherever I happen to be at the time such a question is asked. For example, right now I’m sitting on the toilet tapping this answer into my iPhone — and that is definitely my place in the world at the moment. Now excuse me while I finish up the paperwork and wash my hands.

Is it important to you to get ‘noticed’ or are you happy enough to just be seen and is there really a difference do you think?

I used to think, when I was still working, that it was important to get noticed. Notice by my clients, by my peers, and by my bosses. Now that I’m in my sixth year of my retirement, getting noticed is the last thing I want to have happen. Unless I’m crossing the street and a car is coming my way. In that situation I would definitely hope to get noticed.

12 Bloggerz — May 2021

Fandango9 Comments

Rory is offering up his “12 Bloggers” thing he does once again this month. He poses 12, oh I don’t know, irreverent questions. Here is what he is asking us this month.

1. When was the last time you were totally lost?
[Be this physically, mentally, emotionally or so on, interpretation is yours.]

Pretty much every day.

2. Do you think that we, as viewers to the entertainment industry, have much higher and perhaps unrealistic expectations to the content that we read, watch, or listen to today in comparison to previous years and or generations?

I think so because the technologies used in today’s entertainment industry are so much more sophisticated and advanced than they were in previous generations.

3. Does money ‘really’ make us happy or is that just a myth and more importantly it is ‘what you do with it’ that makes you happier?

I don’t know if money really makes us happy, but it helps.

4. How important to you is it to be right?

I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.

5. How often do you find yourself completely confused with life and the way it is changing and has changed over the last ten or twenty years?

What confuses me is how divided and polarized our society has become. We have become so entrenched in our own perspectives and beliefs that we no longer listen to or even attempt to see the world through others’ eyes.

7. How many emails do you get a day [roughly] and from who do you get the most?

About a dozen and a half and most of them are from some entity trying to get me to spend money. I get many more text messages than emails each day.

6. When out shopping and carrying your goods or groceries, which do you prefer to use more often – paper or plastic bags [reusable] or cotton totes or something else?

I mostly bring my own reusable (cloth, not plastic) bags. Otherwise, I’ll go with paper bags, which are recyclable.

8. Have you ever made for yourself ‘homemade wine/spirits’ and if so what was it made from and how was it?

I haven’t, but my wife made her own homemade wine from a kit. I designed the labels and printed them up and adhered them to the bottles into which her wine ultimately was poured.

9. In your opinion and from no ‘fixed time period,’ what have been in your eyes the top 5 most memorable television series you have ever watched and what made them special to you?

“The Wire” on HBO, the original “The Twilight Zone,” “Hill Street Blues,” “Cheers,” and “All in the Family.”

10. What’s wrong with today’s music as opposed to the music of your yesterday’s – do you consider the music now to be far worse or greatly improved and why?

I’m stuck in the mid-sixties to late-seventies classic rock from a music perspective. That’s my jam. I’m not going to comment on others’ tastes in music, no matter how bad I think it is.

11. Does world history really matter to our daily lives – is it that important – l mean it’s not like we can change anything right – what do you think?

12. Do you believe that a good night’s sleep and waking up refreshed the following day helps you make better decisions or worthier improvements to your life – or it makes no difference at all?

I know that I feel refreshed and regenerated after a good night’s sleep, so I’m going to say that, for me, anyway, it does make a positive difference.

Fibbing Friday — Secrets and Magic

Fandango12 Comments

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Di’s turn to host and here are her questions.

1. What is a menagerie?

It’s a type of seedless fruit that is a cross between a tangerine and a mandarin orange.

2. What is Victoria’s Secret?

She’s having a torrid affair with her husband’s brother.

3. What is the secret of The Black Magic Box?

It’s not black and there is nothing magic about it.

4. What do hurricanes, tornadoes, and mosquitoes have in common?

They all suck, either literally or figuratively.

5. What do Merlin and a Griffin have in common?

They are both legendary.

6. Complete this famous trio: Sooty, Sweep, and ……………………

…Scooby Dooby Doo.

7. Who are the Telly Tubbies?

Fat kids who can’t keep secrets.

8. Why are Hymns not called Hers?

Because the church is sexist.

9. Whose signature logo is The Whopper?

Andre the Giant.

10. What is skiffle?

The latest teenage dance craze.

SoCS — The Merry Month of…

Fandango23 Comments

May I remind you that today is the first day of the month of May? When I was a kid, on the first May, we used to celebrate May Day by dancing around the Maypole. And because April showers bring May flowers, this month should be one of bright, bountiful, and beautiful flowers and delightful fragrances.

It’s hard for me to believe that it’s already May. It seems as if 2021 is barely underway, and yet we’re one-third of the way through the year. In fact, I find it a bit dismaying how quickly the the first four months of the year have flown by. And while I was hoping that 2021 would be a far better year than last year, there has been a lot of mayhem so far this year. Maybe you feel the same way, too.

Here are some personal factoids about May: I started this blog in May of 2017. My first grandchild was born last May. My parents got married in May. Not recently, of course, but many, many Mays ago. And I started my first real job after graduating from college and returning from active duty in the army in May. Again, that was many Mays ago, too.

And with that, I think I may wrap this post up. In case you couldn’t tell, I wrote this post specifically for Linda G.Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, where the word is “may.” But maybe you already figured that out.

In a happy coincidence, today’s Your Daily Word Prompt word is also May.