Humor

Fibbing Friday — Daffysauruses

Fandango9 Comments

Di (aka Pensitivity101) hosts Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. For this week’s Fibbing Friday, Di has given us a list of dinosaur names and asked us to what they are.

1. Spinosaurus — A prima ballerina.
2. Nigersauris — A Nigerian prince who sends you an email asking you to wire him money.
3. Brachiosaurus — a small fish that thrives in brackish water.
4. Ichthyosaur — The process by which a veterinarian cleans out your dog’s anal gland.
5. Allosaurus — A popular brand of aloe vera skin cream.
6. Diplodocus — An honorary diploma from a prestigious university granted to citizens who reach 100 years of age.
7. Parasaurolophus — A member of an elite group of paratroopers who perform at local air shows.
8. Deinonychus — The original name of the popular American musical group from the late 50s and early 60s, Dion and the Belmonts.
9. Troodon — The opposite of liondon (think about it).
10. Elasmosaurus — a stretchy fabric used to make yoga pants.

WDYS — Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?

Fandango10 Comments

🎶 If you want my body and you think I’m sexy,
Come on, sugar, let me know. 🎵

Bow wow!

🎶 If you really need me, just reach out and touch me.
Come on, honey, tell me so. 🎵

Bow wow!

Written for Sadje’s What Do You See prompt. Photo crédit: Grin @ Unsplash.

English Ain’t Easy, So Let’s Simplify It.

Fandango16 Comments

I just read this amusing post from Marilyn Armstrong in which she pointed out that the English language is hard and it doesn’t always make sense. Her post reminded me of something I read on the internet years ago and I thought I’d share it with you in case you hadn’t seen it before.

In 1998, the German automobile company Daimler-Benz announces a $36 billion merger with the United States-based Chrysler Corporation. Shortly after the merger, directors at Daimler Benz and Chrysler announced an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was another possibility.

As part of the negotiations, directors at Chrysler conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and have accepted a five-year phase-in plan. In the first year, the letter s will be used instead of the soft c. Also, the hard c will be replased with k. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers would have one less letter.

There will be growing kompany enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ph will be replased by f. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, DaimlerKrysler akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.

DaimlerKrysler will enkourage the removal of double letters, whish have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent e in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing th with z and w by v.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary u kan be droped from vords kontaining ou, and similar shanges vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis, and employes vil find it ezi to kommunikat viz eash ozer.

Ov kors al supliers vil be expekted to yus zis for al busines komunikashun via DaimlerKrysler.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German, lik zey vunted in ze first plas.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Fibbing Friday — Daffynitions

Fandango8 Comments

Di (aka Pensitivity101) hosts Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. For this week’s Fibbing Friday, Di has given us a list of words and asked for their definitions.

1. Novalunosis — Moon blindness.
2. Wundervei — A deer caught in the headlights look on a person’s face.
3. Eramnesia — A photographic memory (i.e., the opposite of amnesia).
4. Witnessoja — A witness to a crime who refuses to testify for fear of retaliation.
5. Sundreesorro — A person who is obsessed with sundresses.
6. Livilence — A lively line dance that involves a hops, a skip, and a jump.
7. Seatherny — A boat in need of major repairs to make it seaworthy.
8. Drizzlosis — A need to drizzle salad dressing, ketchup, or other condiments on food before eating it.
9. Zirgwè — A medication used to treat restless leg syndrome.
10. Teresaurum — A person who likes to eat earthworms.