Humor

Nature Versus Nurture

Fandango9 Comments

 

b335d9b3-e4b1-4463-a640-0fc2993fc86e.jpeg“I don’t understand,” Hal said to his wife. “We have two boys, two years apart, both raised in the same household, both exposed to the same things, and the two couldn’t be more different. What are we doing wrong?”

“I’m holding on to the hope that we’re not doing anything wrong,” Judy said. “I just think they have different natures.”

“That’s an understatement,” Hal said. “Richard is downright vulgar, whereas Robert is extremely bashful.” It’s hard to believe they are actually related to each other.”

“I know,” Judy said. “And where Richard is irreverent, Robert always shows great finesse.”

“Well, I just don’t get it,” Hal lamented. “They’re both our sons, so they should be like peas in a pod, not like they are from different species.”

Judy sighed, got a quizzical look on her face, and said, “Hal, do you think it’s possible that one of our boys is adopted?”

“Well, that would certainly address the issue of nature versus nurture,” Hal said.

Written for these daily prompts: The Daily Spur (holding), Word of the Day Challenge (vulgar), Your Daily Word Prompt (bashful), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (irreverent), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (finesse).

I’m Losing My Mind

Fandango20 Comments

1C30BF85-CD42-44CF-ACBA-EFB9F666FB4BAt least that’s what my wife keeps telling me. For instance, last night I asked her a question. She got a strange look on her face and said, “You just asked me that.”

“I did? Did you answer me?”

“Yes, I did.”

“What did you say?”

“I already answered your question,” she said. “Either you didn’t listen when I answered, in which case why did you ask if you had no interest in my answer, or, if you can’t even remember asking me, you probably won’t be able to remember the answer even if I say it again.”

Hmm, she has a point. And then there was the other day when we were walking our dog and I said something to her and she said, “You just said that.”

“Really?” I said. “I thought I just thought it, but didn’t actually say it.” It seems that I often can’t recall if I actually said something or I only just thought it.

And then there are the times that my wife and I might be sitting and watching TV and she’ll ask me to get something for her, say a glass of water. I’ll walk into the kitchen, feed the cat, and then walk back to where my wife is sitting and sit down. She’ll look at me and ask, “Where’s my water?”

“Oh, right,” I say and get up to get her a glass.1450B989-2045-491C-895C-18E1347DE23B“Never mind,” she says. “I’ll get up and get it myself.”

And then she adds, “You really are losing your mind.”

Weekly Prompts — No Butts About It

Fandango17 Comments

8C102CFB-0753-4734-8992-AD636B9F1866I have to admit that the first thing that came to mind when I saw the prompt for today’s Weekly Prompts Photo Challenge was not a car accident where someone runs into the rear end of your car. And it was also not of raising (rearing) kids.

At the risk of appearing to be sexist or of objectifying women, I will confess that the first thought that occurred to me when I saw that the prompt was the word “rear” was a woman’s butt.

Because this is a Photo Challenge, I looked through my entire photo library and discovered that I don’t possess a single photo that focuses on that particular part of the female anatomy. Well, the human female anatomy that is. I found one picture prominently featuring my dog’s rear end and another showing off my cat’s butt. But nobody wants to see pictures of their butts. Thus, I had to spend hours on Google and on various photo sharing sites examining pictures of women’s butts. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

I wanted to find one that wasn’t obscene or even too risque. One that, given the focus of the query, was in good taste. Ultimately, I found and settled upon a photo by Ryan Moreno at unsplash.com.

So what you see at the top of this post is Ryan’s photo of a woman’s rear end snugly tucked into a pair of tight Levi’s jeans. I hope you enjoy seeing his picture and reading this post as much as I did researching and writing it.

Dumb and Dumber

Fandango14 Comments

2A9C450C-B8CE-4AB2-9594-43EF6E7A0781Donald Trump said in an interview yesterday with George Stephanopoulos of ABC News that he would accept foreign information on political opponents. He said that the origin of opposition research would not overly concern him and that he may or may not go to the FBI if such an offer came from abroad.

“It’s not an interference,” he said, describing such information as “opposition research.” “They have information — I think I’d take it.” He would call the FBI only “if I thought there was something wrong.”

When Stephanopoulos pointed out that the FBI director has said a candidate should call the FBI if approached by foreign sources with damaging information on political opppnents, Trump snapped, “The FBI director is wrong.”

Yes, that was a dumb thing for Trump to have said. Almost as dumb as when he told Lester Holt of NBC News in 2017 that he fired then FBI director James Comey over “this Russia thing.”

But as dumb as what Trump told Stehanopoulos, this post is not about that. It’s about something even dumber. I submit to you this tweet from the President of the United States of America.8AF075FE-3D58-4F1D-9370-F944734E8BF6Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you the Prince of Whales.1E8550AC-C16E-4E4F-819F-1943D322B012Okay, okay. I know this was probably a typo. Or maybe POTUS was victimized by autocorrect. Or more likely, he really does think that Prince Charles is the prince of a country in southwest Great Britain named Whales.

And that might explain why Trump calls Charles’ wife, Camilla, the Duchess of Dolphins.

3-2-1 Quote Me! — Success

Fandango10 Comments

B3A6ACD0-F913-4E73-AC80-1F244E60874DThis time I got tagged twice, once by Teresa over at The Haunted Wordsmith, and once by Melanie over at Sparks From a Combustible Mind, to carry the torch for Rory’s 3-2-1 Quote Me! challenge. This time the topic is “success.”

So thanks Teresa and Melanie. Here are my two success quotes.F9401CB8-504A-4C44-96E1-301CBF4EA3F648B4F850-DDC7-4D06-B818-7A07629D5760Next I’m supposed to tag three other bloggers to post two (each) quotes about success. However, I am, instead, going to throw this challenge open to anyone who is inspired by my success in responding to this challenge. See if you can match me!