Humor

SoCS — I’m Just Ribbing You

Fandango6 Comments

e4aa34ad-19a4-4e9e-9f02-53fdf9c21f39-e1555731353637.jpegFor this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, Linda G. Hill has asked us to pay tribute to the word “rib.” I am pleased to be able to make a contribution to this effort.

I don’t know if you know this, but I broke a few ribs in a downhill snow skiing accident a while back. Sure, I took a lot of ribbing from my friends who witnessed my clumsiness. But I failed to see the humor in it. You see, one attribute of a rib injury is that it’s both very painful and extremely annoying. And my doctor wouldn’t prescribe anything for pain stronger than Tylenol. Sheesh.

If you’ve ever broken a rib or two, then you know that for about a month to six weeks after breaking a rib, you don’t want to sneeze or laugh because doing so causes you to expand your ribcage, and with a cracked rib, that results in excruciating pain. For the same reason, you also don’t want anyone to hug you. What about hot and heavy sex? Fuhgeddaboudit.

And for heaven’s sake, if you’re taking a dump and you need that last big push to get it all out, be prepared to suffer. I know that I put up with a lot of trials and tribulations by having cracked a few ribs. Breaking a rib has a terribly long, sad, and lonely recovery period.

Okay, I think I’ve described the hassle of broken ribs enough for now. But, strangely, I’ve developed a sudden urge to go out to Chili’s for a rack of baby back ribs.

Share Your World — Guns and Hiccups

Fandango6 Comments

Is it Monday already? Yes it is. And that means it’s time for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Guns? Are you pro or con? Explain your point of view.

I believe Americans have a constitutional right to own and bear arms. But I don’t see any reason why any civilian needs to own a high capacity, military style, semiautomatic assault rifle. I also support common sense gun laws. I also support gun buyback programs. And I oppose open and concealed carry. I don’t buy the NRA’s bullshit that only a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun.

How would your country change if everyone, regardless of age, could vote?

Sorry children, but I don’t think anyone younger than 18 should be allowed to vote for anything other than student council positions or for competitors on “The Voice” or “American Idol.” 

What’s your cure for hiccups?

Hold your breath until you stop hiccuping or die, whichever comes first.

What’s the coldest you’ve ever been?

When I spent a week in Barrow, Alaska. It was very dark and very, very cold.

If you would like, share a story, a photo or some thoughts on you may be thankful for this week!

I am thankful this week for…. Well, I pass. Check back with me next week.

Perfectly Crazy Bucket List!

Fandango14 Comments

01378EC9-7EEF-428A-ABE7-322B7840CFF3Another of Rory’s brainstorms. He said that he would choose a topic, write four lines of rhyming verse, and then tag one of his readers who will, in turn, add four more lines of rhyming verse to his, and then tag one of their own readers, and then “it is a case of wash, rinse, repeat.”

So here’s how Rory started things off:

So, so much to do, and with so little time,
I want to do everything, nothing to be missed,
But how do l plan it all, how do l define,
The perfectly crazy bucket list?

Then he handed it off to Paula Light, who added this:

First up is a lush tropical jungle,
Jaguars and waterfalls… all quite insane;
I do hope my parachute isn’t all bungled,
When I jump from the doorway of this airplane!

And now it’s my turn:

I want to take a rocket into space,
Or maybe a submarine ride deep in the sea.
I sure hope they will save me a place,
Because that’s where I really want to be!

And let’s see what Cheryl, aka The Bag Lady, does with this.

SoCS — Fat Lip

Fandango15 Comments

a5542a60-10fb-4ac0-b518-db4e781e521e.jpegWhen I was a kid, having a fat lip meant that someone hauled off and slugged you right in your kisser.

These days, having a fat lip means that you went to the doctor to get a Botox injection into your lip.835F1A35-BD90-44DC-81D7-5DC455828F61

Written for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill, where we’re supposed to use the word “lip” (or words containing “lip”) in our posts.

SoCS — Absolutely Fabulous

Fandango14 Comments

91B83C6A-E4F7-4E62-AAEE-83AAB0E4ABABFor this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday, Linda G. Hill has given us a fabulous prompt. She has asked us to use the word “fab” or to use words beginning with “fab” in our posts.

Now I’m not one for telling fables or for fabricating words. So I’ll give it to you straight. The first fab that came to mind was the original Fab Four — The Beatles.B1099D49-F61E-44B9-9E6B-5C9E9DC54B66I admit that I wasn’t a huge fan of the Beatles when they first came out in the U.S. in 1964. But within a few years I was hooked. They were, indeed, revolutionary.

64D3640A-487A-4592-8F4F-E8BC3CA1DAFFI understand there’s an excellent Beatles tribute group that goes by the name of The Fab Four. They’re supposed to be really good, although I’ve never heard or seen them play. They are currently touring the U.S., although nowhere near where I live.

27D145B8-6D18-40F2-A989-D9934E197ABDAnother thing that comes to mind for the word “fab” is that there’s a laundry detergent with the name Fab. I am not even sure if they still make and sell it, but I found this picture of a bottle of Fab when I Googled the word “fab,” so I’m assuming it’s still a thing.

And finally, somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I have a very vague recollection of a British TV comedy (I think it was a comedy, although I never watched it) called “Absolutely Fabulous.” I don’t know what it was about or who starred in it or even when it aired, but I kind of remember that the show had a nickname of “AbFab.”FB97C94E-6CCE-4469-AC16-999178D2EC36Or maybe I’m mixing up AbFab with the Fab Abs Workout. It’s all so confusing.m