Fibbing Friday — Comical

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.

1 – Who was the first cartoon character created by Walt Disney?

Bugs Bunny

2 – What is Stan Lee most known for?

He played the lead role in the Charlie Chan movies.

3- What is the difference between anime and manga?

They are both a type of fruit, but the anime is bitter and the manga is sweet.

4- What comic sleuth is often credited with inspiring/predicting the smart watch?

Inspector Gadget.
5 – Who is Batman?

A guy who specializes in ridding your house of bats.

6 – What is the source of Green Lantern’s power?

The Green New Deal.

7 – What villainous is Dr. Otto Gunter Octavius better known by?

Optimus Prime.
8 – Miazaki Hayao is credited with co-founding what animation studio?


9 – Ponyo is considered to be a Japanese variation of what fairy tale?

Little Red Riding Hood.

10 – What is the purpose of the website,

It’s a candy website that specializes in selling and shipping Tootsie Rolls and Nestle’s Crunch bars.

Fibbing Friday — Material Things

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Di’s turn to host and here are her questions.

1. What is a tie dye?

It’s what happens when a big game, like the Super Bowl or the World Cup, ends in a tie, and the fans, out of frustration, feel like they’re going to die.

2. What is a raglan sleeve?

It’s the sleeve of an old shirt that, rather than throwing it away, you use it to store rags in. You stuff one sleeve of the shirt with the rags and then tie a knot at the end of that sleeve.

3. What is seersucker?

It’s a really bad fortune teller (or seer) who sucks at seeing the future.

4. What is meant by a dropped waist?

It’s what’s left in the toilet after you take a dump. Oh wait, that’s dropped waste. Sorry, never mind.

5. What is a yoke collar?

It’s a kitchen device used to separate the egg yoke from the egg white.

6. What is meant by pigeon toed?

It’s what happens to pigeons when sadistic city dwellers, tired of all the pigeon poop left behind by those dirty birds, cut off the toes of the pigeons so they will fly away and not land again.

7. How many pleats are in a kilt?

It can vary from kilt to kilt, but if you’re a kilt maker and you get it wrong, there is a chance that you might be kilt, so if you don’t want to be kilt, you’d better get it right.

8. What is bias binding?

It’s a binding clause in federal legislation regarding sentencing guidelines for biased behavior.

9. What is velcro?

It’s a fictional bird that is a combination of a velociraptor and a common black crow.

10. What is twill webbing?

It’s the fabric often used in jeans that can be used for the webbing in swimming fins.

More of Rory’s Random Questions — Double Shot

So Rory, over at A Guy Called Bloke, periodically posts a series of silly and/or intriguing random questions and I’m going to respond to two such series of questions in this post. Because why not?

The first set of questions were posed on February 11th and came from what he called “Season 4 — Game 2.”

1. Favorite pizza topping?

Mushrooms and Pepperoni.

2. What do you do too much and too little of today?

Today? I guess responding to Rory’s Fun Questions posts and not spending enough time writing my own posts.

3. Do you live by the 2 second rule when it comes to dropped food on the floor? [As in if food drops to the floor do you eat it or bin it?]

I actually answered this in my response to Melanie’s Share Your World post today, only she referred to it as the 5 second rule. So if you really want to know my answer, go read it here.

4. Have you ever fooled around with electric wires and tripped you as in received a shock if yes, what were you doing?

Yes, I used to rewire antique light fixtures as a bit of a hobby when we owned a 120-year-old Victorian house back east. I’d buy the old light fixtures on eBay, but many required rewiring, so even though I’m not an electrician, I would do that. And on several occasions, when I connected the light fixtures to the receptacle in the ceiling and had my wife flick the switch, I got a bit of a shock because I had screwed up the wiring.

5. Are you a plate licker?

Not since I was about five years old.

6. What time do you normally retire to bed for the night, or try to anyway?

I generally get in bed at around 10 or 10:30, but then I spend an hour or so catching up on posts that showed up in my WordPress Reader that I hadn’t gotten a chance to read during the day.

7. How many blue elephants would it take to change a red lightbulb in the green toilet?

I’d be tickled pink to give you an answer, but I’ve never seen a blue elephant nor a green toilet. But I did see a lot of red light bulbs when my wife and I went to Amsterdam on our honeymoon. But I was on my honeymoon, for crissake, so all I could do was look.

I responded to Rory’s February 17th Season 4 — Game 3 questions here. So let me move on to his most recent set of questions in Season 4 — Game 4.

1. Are you happy with all your body parts?

Well, given my advanced age, I suppose, for the most part, I am. I do wish I could hear again out of my left ear, and that I could taste food again, and that my eyesight was better, and that I could do some of the things I could do as a younger man. But hey, I’m alive and, overall, I’m in good health and decent shape, so far be it from me to complain.

2. What is the worst song ever?

This one:

3. What’s the strangest culinary thing you have ever done with a bowl of fruit?

Um, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything strange with a bowl of fruit. But it’s something to consider. I might have to put that on my bucket list.

4. What’s the sauciest/naughtiest thing you have ever done with whipped cream?

Please refer to my answer to number 6 and use your imagination.

5. Okay, you have been tasked with inviting 7 famous yet dead people to your dinner party – who is on your list and more importantly why those 7?

Famous “yet dead” people. I guess my answers must exclude famous people who were once dead but are no longer dead. Okay, in no particular order

  • J.R.R. Tolkien — I’d just like to have him tell me about how he conjured up the Middle Earth and all who inhabited it.
  • Isaac Asimov — One of my favorite science fiction writers.
  • My father — He wasn’t famous (except, perhaps to me), but I’d love to ask him questions about his life that I was too self-obsessed to ask him when he was still alive.
  • John Lennon — What a talented singer and song writer.
  • Sean Connery — One of my favorite actors. I’d just want to talk to him to hear his voice.
  • Jesus Christ — I know this is surprising coming from an atheist like me, but I’d love to get him to tell me, once and for all, if he was a mere mortal or was actually the son of God, who I don’t believe exists. That would be one hell of a conversation, right?
  • Charles Darwin — I’d like to ask him his take on those who poo-poo his theory of evolution with stupid statements like, “How can we have evolved from monkeys when monkeys still exist?

6. What goes up but never down until it stops?

Please refer to my answer to number 4 and use your imagination.

7. If I have a head, a foot and four legs what am I?

The only thing I can thing of is a bed.

Fibbing Friday — Something Smells Fishy

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.

1. How did tartar sauce get its name?

When consumed in great quantities, the sauce causes a hard calcified deposit known as tartar to form on the teeth, contributing to their eventual decay.

2. Why is Mardis Gras (aka Shrove Tuesday) also known as Pancake Day?

Because that was the day the first International House of Pancakes (aka “IHOP”) opened in New Orleans.

3. Why do so many people eat fish during Lent?

Because the farmer lent his cows to his neighbor and his family had to eat fish until the neighbor returned the cows the farmer had lent him.

4. What is the difference between sushi and sashimi?

The way they’re spelled.

5. What is noodling?

When you’re involved in a sort of intensive brainstorming session and the leader of the session says to the participants, “Let’s noodle on this for a while.”

6. How do you clean a fish?

With soap and water.

7. What are Swedish fish?

Fish that you can purchase only at IKEA.

8. What is a Bishop’s Mitre?

It’s a saw used to make accurate crosscuts often used at the direction of church bishops to construct pews.

9. What was the movie, The Shoes of the Fisherman about?

It was about Bigfoot, who was known for his ability to catch fish, but also for the size of his enormous feet.

10. What is the first day after Lent known as?

The day the neighbor was supposed to return the cows to the farmer.

Valentine’s Day Rant — Yet Again

I originally published this post on Valentine’s Day in 2018. And again on Valentine’s Day in 2019. For some reason I didn’t post it on Valentine’s Day last year. But I thought I’d repost it again this year to make sure that you, my loyal readers, know how I really feel about Valentine’s Day. Enjoy.

Today is Valentine’s Day and aren’t our little, romantic hearts all aflutter?

Not mine.

I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. Call me unromantic, jaded, or cynical, but to me, Valentine’s Day is a totally bogus “holiday.” That’s why a column by syndicated columnist Tom Purcell that I read a while back still resonates with me.

Purcell wrote that on Valentine’s Day, women “dream of romance, surprise, and having sweet nothings whispered into their ears — and if such things happen, they hope their husbands don’t find out!”

But for men, Purcell said, “Valentine’s Day is a contrived undertaking that makes mandatory the things — flowers, dining out, expensive jewelry — that should be reserved for the times when we do something really stupid and are desperate to make up.” I hear you, Mr. Purcell!

I started to wonder what’s really behind this so-called holiday, so I Googled “Valentine’s Day.” It turns out that Valentine’s Day was originally observed to honor early Christian martyrs. The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine, all of whom were martyred. Interestingly, no romantic elements are present in the original, early medieval records of these martyrs.

Some historians believe that Valentine’s Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Saint Valentine’s death. Hmm. Did all three saints named Valentine die in the middle of February? Did it happen in Chicago and was Al Capone invovled?

But others claim that the Catholic Church may have decided to place the Saint Valentine’s feast in the middle of February in an effort to “Christianize” the pagan celebration of Lupercalia, which was celebrated around the middle of February.

Lupercalia was a festival in honor of Lupa, the she-wolf who suckled the infant orphans, Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome. Lupercalia translates to “Wolf Festival.” During the festival, Roman priests would sacrifice a goat for fertility and a dog for purification. They would then cut the goat’s hide into strips, dip them into the sacrificial blood, and take to the streets where they would gently slap women with the goat hide strips.

Oh wow, it doesn’t get any more romantic than that, does it?Send a Hallmark Card DayHaving educated myself on its origin stories, I am more convinced than ever that Valentine’s Day is the epitome of the expression “Hallmark holiday,” a phrase used to describe a holiday that exists solely for commercial purposes.

Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday was actually concocted during an intense, closed-door brainstorming session at the corporate headquarters of Hallmark Cards, Inc. The Hallmark executives were trying to figure out how to sell more cards during the lull between the Christmas and Easter holidays. One exec suggested creating a romantic holiday celebrating a Roman she-wolf and some martyred saints. “Yeah, that’s the ticket!” all the other execs shouted out.

That, my friends, is the true story about how the Valentine’s Day holiday in America came into being. (And, as Mark Twain said, “Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.”)

Anyway, I hope you all have a happy Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, mine probably won’t be very happy. When my wife reads this post, there is no doubt that, as Tom Purcell warned, I will have done something really stupid and will be desperate to make up.

Damn you Hallmark Cards, Inc. and your stupid Hallmark holiday.