January 2023 — Whatta Month

I’m so very happy that today is the last day of the month. For me, personally, January 2023 has been the worst month of my entire life.

There were only eight days this entire month that I was relatively pain free. The month started off with me hurting my back on New Year’s Day and suffering from severe lower bag spasms. Within four days of that injury, though, the back spasms had stopped and I was close to pain free. And that period of painlessness lasted for another week.

Then I fell off a latter, busted my hip, had hip replacement surgery, and spent two weeks in the hospital (including rehab). Now I’m at home and am undergoing home-based rehab services including physical therapy, occupational therapy, and visiting nurse visits.

(That sounds redundant, doesn’t it? “Visiting nurse visits”? By definition, visiting nurses visit patients, so I’m not sure how else to describe what they do. Oh well, deal with it.)

So anyway, today is the last day of the worst month of my life. February can’t possibly be any worse, although I’m not expecting it to be a particularly fun month. I will be going through in-home rehab for the entire month, and hopefully, by the end of the month, I’ll reach the point that I’ll be able to walk again without having to use a walker.

So here’s the deal.

First, I expect you’re getting tired of my whiney posts about poor Fandango and his broken hip. So I’m going to try to minimize such posts. Second, as my energy level improves, I will try to get back into reading more of your wonderful posts, responding to daily word prompts, photo prompts, and to share my observations and perspectives on what is going that doesn’t involve poor Fandango and his broken hip.

Although, truth be told, it’s been kinda nice not paying attention to all of the political and societal bullshit during the past three weeks. Almost blissful.

TMP — Activities of Daily Living

Every Monday, Paula Light, with her The Monday Peeve prompt, gives us an opportunity to vent or rant about something that pisses us off.

Okay, maybe I should be grateful that, after having fallen off of a ladder and fracturing my hip, I can still do these things at all. No, check that, I am very grateful that I can still do these things at all. It could have been worse. But that doesn’t mean I can’t grouse about it, does it?

What am I talking about? I’m talking about activities of daily living. Things that those of us who are able-bodied take completely for granted. Things like hopping out of bed in the morning and jumping into bed at night. Like getting dressed and undressed. Like going to the bathroom, taking a shower, grooming. Like walking.

Yes, I can still do these things, but not without a bit of a struggle. Most of these activities take me anywhere from five to ten times longer than they did in the before days (before I broke my hip). Getting dressed is an ordeal. I have to use tools, like a grabber, a hook, a device to put socks on. I have to use a leg lifter to get my leg up on the bed at night.

Sure, I could ask my wife to help me out, but my occupational therapists says it’s important that I learn how to use these aids and do it by myself.

And even sitting down or getting up from a chair takes concentration. I’ve got a 50% weight bearing limitation on my left leg, so I need to focus on what I’m doing so that I don’t inadvertently put too much weight on that leg. Even walking using a walker requires concentration so that I don’t take a misstep.

And then there are the half a dozen or so home exercises the physical therapist has me doing: three sets of 10 repetitions for each exercise three times each day. It’s all so fucking exhausting!

Okay, I’m done with this peeve.

Weekend Writing Prompt — Ignorance and Apathy

The topic was ignorance and apathy in society. I sat down next to a guy who was texting on his smartphone.

“Did I miss anything important?” I asked.

The guy shrugged and replied, “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

(Exactly 40 words)

Written for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt, where the topic is “apathy.”

SoCS — Home Sweet Home

It’s about 9:00 on a Friday night and I’m tapping out this post on my iPhone as I’m lying in my own bed for the first time in 13 nights. My wife picked me up at around 12:30 this afternoon to take me home after I spend three days in a postoperative acute care room and ten more days in a postoperative orthopedic rehabilitation room.

I can’t express how happy I am to be home. I can’t express how lucky I am to be sharing my life with a woman who is doing everything she can to make my homecoming and transition as smooth and as welcoming as possible, Including preparing for me the most incredible home-cooked dinner ever.

This day, of course, had its challenges. After all, it was my first day home and we had to make some serious accommodations in order to serve a handicapped person. Those changes are temporary, but necessary until I am able to literally stand on my own two feet.

Tomorrow (Saturday), I have my first in-home physical therapy session, which should be interesting because, unlike the rehab facility, I do not have a fully-equipped, state of the art gym in my home. I’ll let you know how that goes.

But still, at almost 9 pm, I’m drained. So I’m going to end this post and schedule it to be published at 3 am on Saturday morning. Why? Because then I can use the phrase “throw in the towel,” which is Linda G. Hill’s challenge for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt.

You see, when I was confronted by the physical therapist on the Sunday after my surgery the day before, and she told me that she wanted me to stand up and take a few steps using a walker, my initial response was, “Fuck you, bitch. I just had major surgery for a fractured hip and a hip replacement barely twelve hours ago. That’s not going to happen.”

She looked at me and said, “I’ve never had a patient throw in the towel without even trying, and you’re not going to be first. So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll grab onto this walker, pull yourself up and out of bed, and start walking, buster.”

And I did.

Rory’s Morning Dawdler — 01/25/23

Rory, the king of questions, also known as the Autistic Composter, has come up with a new series of questions that he calls “The Morning Dawdler.” He poses four questions three times a week, questions he says are “inspired by life, humor, conversations and observations, town life, blog posts, writers, gardening, news stories, television, entertainment, and human curiosity, and so on.”

Yes, I know it’s not morning and it’s not even January 25th anymore. But that aside, here are Rory’s four morning dawdler questions from yesterday and my answers for today.

On a scale of 1 – 10, how happy are you?

Well, considering that almost two weeks ago I fell off a ladder, fractured my hip, had partial hip replacement surgery, and have been in the hospital since then, my happiness meter was barely registering at 1. But then this is my last day and night in the hospital rehab unit and that I’m going home tomorrow, and am really stoked about that. So on average, I’d say my happiness meter is around 6.

Why do people ask how we are but do not want to know the truth?

I think they’re just trying to be courteous by feigning interest. By the way, I don’t think most people are like that when it comes to close friends or family. More so, though, with acquaintances or work associates.

How much meat do you consume in a week, and if you are not a meat eater, have you ever considered meat alternatives, and if so, what are they?

I’d say that probably a third of the food I consume is meat. The rest is comprised of poultry, seafood, various veggies, grains, and Ben & Jerry’s Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream ice cream.

Are you a slow or fast eater, and which behavior do you think is best and why?

I think I eat at an average pace, but probably more toward the slower end of the spectrum than the faster end. I don’t think being a fast eater is good for you. Better to eat slower and savor your food than scarf it down quickly.