Fibbing Friday — Nursery Crimes

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Di’s turn and she wants to know…

1. What did Miss Muffett sit on?

Wee Willie Winkie’s face.

2. Who tried to gatecrash her dinner?

The big, bad wolf.

3. What did Wee Willie Winkie do?

Immensely enjoyed his evening with Miss Muffett.

4. How many blackbirds were baked in a pie?

None. There were 24 blackberries baked in that pie. But Miss Muffett forgot to take it out of the oven in time and so badly burned it that Wee Willie, who would eat just about anything, refused to eat it, so Miss Muffitt put it on her tuffet, which was on her back porch, when a bunch of itsy bitsy spiders crawled down the water spout and over to the tuffet and got into the pie, and then a few black crows flew down and feasted on the burnt, spider-infested pie and immediately died. It was a sad day for all involved.

5. Who sold sea shells on the sea shore?

Peter Piper.

6. What did Peter Piper pick?

Sea shells.

7. What ran up the clock?

The second hand.

8. What was daddy going to wrap Baby Bunting in?

Her head in aluminum foil.

9. Where did Doctor Foster go?

To rescue Baby Bunting from her crazy father.

10. What was the old man doing when it was pouring with rain?

He was screaming at Dorothy, “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done!! I’m melting, melting.”

Fibbing Friday — Beatlemania

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Frank’s turn and he wants to know…

1. What was the actual name of the 1960’s rock group known as “The Fab Four”?

Paul and the Apostles.

2. What children’s TV show was narrated by both Ringo Starr and George Carlin?

The Fife and Drum Show.

3. What was the name of Sir Paul McCartney’s band after the Beatles?

The Exterminators.

4. What name did The Beatles go by before they became The Beatles?

The Volkswagens.

5. Who was “The Forgotten Beatle”?

Beetlejuice.

6. How many Beatles movies are there?

One too many.

7. In relation to the other Beatles movies, what was unique about the movie, “Yellow Submarine”?

It was a non-musical drama about the men aboard a psychedelic German U-Boat in World War II. The men on that sub were known as the Blue Meanies.

8. What exactly is, “The Butcher Cover”?

It’s what Benny the Butcher used to wrap the body parts of his victims.

9. What are the flowers mentioned in the song, “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” made of?

Sugar and spice and everything nice.

10. Who is Billy Shears?

He’s the guy who trims and shapes my bushes.

Fibbing Friday — Potpourri of Whats

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Di’s turn and she wants to know…

1. What is meant by jumping bail?

It’s a game a lot of college students play where they drill holes in small rowboats and then jump in them and start bailing water before they sink. Whoever keeps their boat afloat before it goes under is the winner.

2. What is a skipping rope?

It’s when there is a rope barrier to keep people in line and someone skips over it to get a better place in line.

3. What is a sickly hue?

It’s the name of a paint color that is a combination of puke green and bile yellow.

4. What is cooking the books?

It’s what happens when the cookbook you’re using gets too close to the flame on your gas stove and catches fire.

5. What is a microwave?

It’s the tiny, delicate wave of the hand that Queen Elizabeth uses when she’s waving to the crowd from her carriage.

6. What is meant by passing the buck?

In the animal kingdom, it’s when a female deer (doe) rejects the advances of a male deer (buck).

7. What are air kisses?

It’s a bag of chocolate kisses that are shot at the crowd at a sporting event using a T-shirt cannon.

8. What is meant by shooting one’s mouth off?

It’s what happens when someone in the crowd gets hit in the mouth by a bag of chocolate kisses shot from a T-shirt launcher.

9. What does a dentist do?

It’s a suction device that is used to pop small dents from cars.

10. What is a ruff?

It’s the name of Dennis the Menace’s dog.

Fibbing Friday — Hey, Kids, What Time is It?

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today’s Fibbing Friday was posted by Melanie, of Sparks From a Combustible Mind, who is subbing for Frank while he takes a short break. Mel wants to know…

1. Instead of counting sheep, WHAT was counted?

Chickens before they hatched.

2. If auld acquaintance be forgot, what was remembered?

That time last New Year’s Eve when you got drunk and threw up all over your host’s wife. That’s why you weren’t invited back this year.

3. Time keeps WHAT away?

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

4. The WHAT is gone, the song is over, thought I’d something more to say.

The karaoke machine on the fritz.

5. It was his WHAT time in the unemployment line?

Last time because he finally got a job.

6. WHAT in time does a stitch save?

The embarrassment of a wardrobe malfunction on national TV.

7. Like wind on the plains and sand through the glass, we WHAT?

We need a warm bath.

8. If I could save time in a WHAT?

A freezer. I’d be frozen in time.

9. Woke up, fell out of bed and then WHAT?

Went to the hospital with a broken arm.

10. Lying in my bed, I hear the WHAT tick and think of you?

Bomb.

Bonus: As the clock chimes midnight to ring in the New Year, a Spanish tradition involves eating twelve of what – one for each chime?

Cockroaches at the annual La Cucaracha festival.

Fibbing Friday — Christmas Eve Edition

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Di’s turn to host and she’s given us these Christmas-oriented questions

1. What did the Three Wise Men bring as gifts to the babe in the stables?

A Bed Bath and Beyond a 20% off coupon, an Amazon gift card, and an iPad Mini.

2. Band Aid had a Number One hit with the same record 3 times. What was it?

Rubberband Man.

3. Why is Rudolph’s nose red?

Rudolph is an alcoholic.

4. Who was Santa’s Little Helper?

Elf on the Shelf.

5. What will you find on Quality Street?

The good stuff.

6. What is egg nog?

It’s when you have a constantly running nose and a bad head cold in the old noggin.

7. Who is Saint Nick?

Nick, the owner of a Greek bistro in town. The guy has the patience of a saint.

8. Where is Christmas Island?

Across the bay from Easter Island.

9. What does Feliz Navidad mean?

It’s what Felix Navi’s friends call his father. Think about it.

10. What is a gobbler?

He’s the guy in town who gobbles shoes.