Bathroom Humor?

F87D8CB3-F031-4D76-9330-08ED632E5BCFI don’t often look at Facebook anymore, but the other night I was suffering from insomnia, so I reached for my iPhone and fired up Facebook.

I am telling you this because I came across something that I thought was a bit, well, strange. One of my Facebook acquaintances asked this question:

“When you wipe yourself, which hand do you use, your dominant hand or your non-dominant hand?”

I never really thought about that question and when I saw that there were more than 50 comments to this informal survey, I became curious to see how people would answer this question. So I started reading the comments and one comment in particular totally cracked me up.

To the question about which hand you use to wipe yourself, one guy wrote, “I use toilet paper.”

And speaking about toilet paper, here’s a question for you:A3E7302A-EB72-4292-9A1F-1B21584EFD82

FOWC with Fandango — Neighbor

FOWCWelcome to August 20, 2018 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “neighbor.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.

Sunday Photo Fiction — The Hills Are Alive

img_2203“Dad,” Bonnie called out to her father, “Come see what I made.”

Dave stepped out and saw his fourteen-year-old daughter standing in front of her creation. He looked at what she had made and then looked at her. “A scarecrow?” he said. “It’s very nice, honey, but I’m not sure we need a scarecrow in the flower garden.”

“Dad, she’s not a scarecrow,” Bonnie said. “Don’t you recognize her?”

Dave scrutinized the scarecrow. “Oh sure,” he said. “I bet she’s the wife of the scarecrow from ‘The Wizard of Oz,’ right?”

“No, Dad.” Bonnie said, hands on her hips, giving him her famous stink eye. “What’s my very favorite movie?”

“Um,” he said. “Is it ‘The Sound of Music?’” he asked, knowing that it was.

“Ding, ding, ding,” Bonnie said, smiling broadly.

“I don’t remember there being any scarecrows in that movie,” Dave said.

“Dad, I already told you that she’s not a scarecrow,” Bonnie said, feigning annoyance. “Pretend that this isn’t a garden, but a hilltop surrounded by tall mountains. Now do you know who she is?”

“Maria?” he asked.

“Yes!” She said. She pulled a folded paper from her pocket and handed it to him. “See?”64C7580A-7B69-4C47-9E86-8961786A85FD

(199 words)

Written for this week’s Sunday Photo Fiction prompt from Susan Spaulding. Photo credit: Anurag Bakhshi.

Sycophants Kissing Up

F02D5240-4B54-4F74-9EB5-54F3360E0A08“I’m so tired of how those sycophants on Fox News kowtow to Donald Trump all the time,” Alan complained to his coworker, Zeke. “They’re always kissing his ass.

“You still can’t cope with the fact that Trump won the election, can you?” Zeke said.

“No, that’s not it at all,” Alan objected. “It’s just that they are overly zealous in their support for him. They ignore the basic truth and are reticent to say anything negative about the guy.”

“So turn off Fox News and watch something else,” Zeke suggested.

“I would,” Alan said. “but you know how the boss is. He won’t allow us to tune the TV to anything other than Fox News.”

“That’s what happens when you take a job in the Trump administration,” Zeke replied.

Okay, I promise that this is my last post about Donald Trump. Well, last post about DonaldTrump today, anyway.

Written for the following prompts:

  • Word of the Day Challenge, zealous
  • Your Daily Word Prompt, basic
  • Ragtag Daily Prompt, reticent
  • Daily Addictions, cope
  • Fandango’s One Word Challenge, kowtow

“Truth Isn’t Truth”

Rudy GiulianiWhen asked on “Meet the Press” today about whether Donald Trump would agree to meet with Robert Mueller, Trump’s TV lawyer, Rudy Guilinai, said, “Look, I am not going to be rushed into having him testify so that he gets trapped into perjury. And when you tell me that, you know, he should testify because he’s going to tell the truth and he shouldn’t worry, well that’s so silly because it’s somebody’s version of the truth. Not the truth.”

“Truth is truth,” Chuck Todd, host of “Meet the Press,” responded.

“No, it isn’t truth,” Giuliani said. “Truth isn’t truth.”

Wow. “Truth isn’t truth” has got to be the best sound bite since Kellyanne Conway’s “alternative facts” comment, which she also let fly during an interview with Chuck Todd on “Meet the Press.”

“Truth isn’t truth?” Todd replied, adding, “This is going to become a bad meme.”