Max was a secret agent. Espionage was his game and he was very, very good at it. And he was very smart, too. One of the smartest and most ingenious spies in The Agency.
One of his ingenious inventions was a telephone that was hidden in heel and sole of his shoe. Of course, this was back in the 60s, well before the invention of today’s smartphones. Max’s shoe-phone was revolutionary, way ahead of its time.
Unfortunately for Max, he had an addiction to Oreo cookies. He would always have Oreos wherever he went and would constantly snack on them. And even though Max was so very, very good at being a spy, and even though he was one of the smartest and most ingenious agents in The Agency, his addiction to Oreo cookies was his downfall.
Poor Max gained so much weight from constantly snacking on Oreos that one day, while in heavy pursuit of a spy from the other side, he keeled over and died. In the end, it wasn’t an enemy agent who stopped him, it was his beloved Oreos.
It just goes to show you that sometimes the cream of the crop can be undone by the crème in the center.
Written for Paula Light’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are “espionage,” “snack,” and “shoe.”
Looking at the TV behind the bar, Paul said in a way too loud voice, “I can’t stand seeing or hearing that son of a bitch.”
“Paul, keep you voice down. We’re at a tavern and people are staring at you,” Karen said, “And why do you always feel the need to curse?”
“Doesn’t it piss you off, Karen, that, in order to stage a photo opportunity to feed to his moronic base back home, Trump meets with an evil dictator who starves and kills his own people?” Paul said. “Just look at that smug, sanctimonious expression on Trump’s face. That says it all.”
“You need to watch your blood pressure, honey,” Karen said.
“He’s such a fucking imbecile,” Paul said. “He looks at Kim’s handpicked entourage and then talks about how the North Korean people love Kim. It’s like when Trump has his cabinet meetings and starts them off by having each of his sycophant cabinet appointees tell them how much they love him. It’s sick.”
“This is only temporary, Paul,” Karen said. “The Democrats will get it in gear and the American people will vote him out of office in 2020.”
“Come on, Karen, don’t be so naive,” Paul said. “I know I’ve had a few beers, but I’m not three sheets to the wind quite yet. Betwee all of the disinformation being spread from bogus websites promoted by the GOP, the bias reporting by the Trump ass-kissers on Fox News, and the meddling and interference by Putin and the Russians on Trump’s behalf, don’t count of his losing the election next year.”
“Don’t lose hope, Paul,” Karen said, trying to calm her husband down. “This, too, shall pass.”
Well, even if he does lose the election, he’s not going to go quietly into the night. He’s not going to just walk away. He and his minions would, as the old cigarette ad used to say, rather fight than switch. This is not going to end well, I’m afraid.”
Written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (curse), Your Daily Word Prompt (sanctimonious), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (temporary), The Daily Spur (gear), Ragtag Daily Prompt (sheets), and Swimmers (end).
I noticed yesterday that this “40 Odd Questions” thingie is making the rounds again and since I answered these odd questions back in October of last year, I figured I’d just cut and paste my eight-month old response here and pretend that it’s new.Cheryl (aka, The Bag Lady) published a list of 40 questions labeled “odd things about me” that she received from her sister. 40 seems like a lot of questions, but they’re short (and odd) and don’t require a whole lot of thought. And since I don’t particularly like to give anything a whole lot of thought, I thought I’d take a shot at them.
(I just noticed something I missed when I responded to this back in October. There are only 39 odd questions because, for no apparent reason, there is no question 28.)
1. Do you like blue cheese? No. When cheese turns blue, it’s moldy, so I throw it away. Or maybe when it turns green. I can never remember.
2. Coke or Pepsi? Diet Coke.
3. Do you own a gun? I have a soldering gun in my garage. Does that count?
4. What flavor of Kool-aid? Never, no way, just yuck!
5. Hot dogs? What about them?
6. Favorite TV show? The Rachel Maddow Show. Yeah, I know.
7. Do you believe in ghosts? No.
8. What do you drink in the morning? Coffee.
9. Can you do a push-up? A single push up? Yeah.
10. Favorite Jewelry? Other than my watch, the only jewelry I wear is my wedding band.
11. Favorite Hobby? Blogging.
12. Do you have ADD? No, I have SUBTRACT.
13. Do you wear glasses? Only when I need to see anything.
14. Favorite cartoon character? Bullwinkle Moose.
15. Three things you did today? Ate, walked the dog, and responded to these 40 odd questions.
16. Three drinks you drink regularly? Coffee, Diet Coke, water.
17. Current movies? My wife just dragged me to see “A Stars is Born” with Lady GaGa. It wasn’t bad.
18. Do you believe in magic? Only as a Lovin’ Spoonful song title.
19. Favorite place to be? At home.
20. How did you ring in the New Year? Snoring.
21. Travel? Where would you go? Australia and New Zealand.
22. Name five people who will most likely read this? I don’t know. I guess five of the dozen or so people who regularly follow my blog and comment on most of my posts.
23. Favorite movie? Young Frankenstein.
24. Favorite color? Blue.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Don’t know. Never tried them.
26. Can you whistle? Yes, but not like those really loud whistles.
27. Where are you now? Home.
29. Favorite food? Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs.
30. Least favorite chore? Cleaning the bathroom.
31. Best job you can think of? Radio disk jockey.
32. What’s in your pockets? Pants pockets: wallet, keys, Vaseline Lip Therapy tube, mints, lint. Shirt pocket: tissue, more lint.
33. Last thing that made you laugh? My cat playing in an empty box for something that was just delivered from Amazon.
34. Favorite animal? My dog…and my cat.
35. What’s your most recent injury? When my cat scratched the shit out of my hand.
36. How many TV’s are in your house? Three, but the one in the guest room is rarely used.
37. Worst pain ever? Diverticulitis attack.
38. Do you like to dance? Nope.
39. Are your parents still alive? No.
40. Do you enjoy camping? I used to back in the day, but now I prefer a nice comfy bed in a nice clean room that is bug free at a place that has indoor plumbing.
Now you copy and paste the questions to your blog, but replace my answers with yours. Easy-peasy.
For today’s Song Lyric Sunday theme, Jim Adams has given us “Who, What, When, Where, Why, How.” The first thing I thought of was a journalism class I took when my professor said that any good reporter must answer the questions of who, what, when, where, why, and how in a newspaper or magazine article. But since this is a music prompt, I chose the classic song by The Beach Boys, “Don’t Worry Baby.” It contains the words “how,” “why,” “when,” and “what.”
“Don’t Worry Baby” was written by Brian Wilson and Roger Christian. The song is a tender ballad with falsetto lead vocal by Wilson. It was first released on The Beach Boys’ 1964 album Shut Down Volume 2, and as the B-side of The Beach Boys’ first U.S. number-one single, “I Get Around.” “Don’t Worry Baby” reached number 24 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in its own right.
The song is sung from the perspective of a teenage boy who reluctantly agrees to a car race challenge from a rival after rashly bragging about his car. He is reassured by his girlfriend’s plea to take her love with him when he races.
“Don’t Worry Baby” was conceived as a follow-up to the Ronettes’ hit song “Be My Baby.” When Wilson heard the Ronettes’ song on the radio, he wondered aloud if he could match it. Wilson’s wife Marilyn reassured him, saying, “Don’t worry, baby.” Wilson remembered it when it came time to write songs with his DJ friend Roger Christian.
Here are the lyrics to “Don’t Worry Baby.”
Well its been building up inside of me For oh I don’t know how long I don’t know why But I keep thinking Something’s bound to go wrong
But she looks in my eyes And makes me realize And she says “Don’t worry baby” Don’t worry baby Don’t worry baby Everything will turn out alright