#FFF

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — May 10th

Fandango15 Comments

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on any day this past year and link to that post in a comment.

How about it? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Flashback Friday post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

This was originally posted on May 10, 2012 on my old blog.

Phenomenon

A phenomenon, according to dictionary.com, is “something that is impressive or extraordinary.” Well, something really “impressive or extraordinary” happened to my blog.

I’ve mentioned several times in past posts that my blog doesn’t have much of a following. In fact, according to the statistics provided by TypePad, my blog hosting service, this modest little blog of mine goes mostly unnoticed.

Since I started this blog in July 2009, it has averaged barely nine page views per day, and I personally account for at least half that number because I am, unabashedly, my blog’s biggest fan.

Just last month, though, my blog averaged 21.6 page views per day, peaking at 66 on April 22nd. But this bump in traffic has a perfectly rational explanation. My recently retired and moderately conservative (registered Republican) brother-in-law just “discovered” my blog and has been commenting on some of my more politically provocative posts. Thanks for singlehandedly driving up my page views, bro.

What’s a page view?

The concept of page views is very important to bloggers. As the standard unit used to measure website traffic, it’s an indicator of a blog’s popularity. Each time a webpage is viewed, it counts as one page view. The more traffic a blog generates, the more page views it gets. The more page views it gets, the more commercially “successful” it has the potential to be.

That’s because blog sites that generate a lot of daily page views — and by “a lot” I mean hundreds, if not thousands, a day — may attract corporate sponsors that are willing to pay high traffic bloggers to put links to their corporate sites on their blogs. Then, for each person who goes to the blog and clicks through to the sponsor’s website, the blogger is compensated. Cha-ching!

I’ve been eagerly waiting to hear from a potential corporate sponsor so that I can retire without having to resort to applying for a job as a Walmart greeter. But, honestly, with an average of fewer than 10 page views per day, half of which are me viewing my own literary handiwork, that’s not likely to happen. Welcome to Walmart.

Up Up and Away!

Okay, now you know what page views are and why they are important, so it’s time to get back to the phenomenon that is the subject of this post. Over the past four days, the number of page views on my blog has inexplicably skyrocketed. On May 4th, my blog received 12 page views, which is just slightly above average.

But on Saturday, May 5th my blog got 273 page views! That’s around 30 times the number of page views my blog usually gets. On Sunday there were 358 page views. Holy shit! On Monday there were 255 page views. And, on Tuesday, May 8th, there were 97 more page views.

Of course, since the “phenomenon,” my page views are back down to earth, with 23 yesterday and 15 so far today.

The mystery in this unexplainable spike in page views is that almost all came from a September 2010 post about a bogus print ad for a fake Breyer’s ice cream flavor. What’s disconcerting to me is that I have no clue why, more than a year and a half after it was originally posted, that particular post is suddenly drawing a crowd.

But the good news is that, with all these page views, all I have to do now is sit by my phone and wait for some deep-pocketed corporation to call me up and offer to sponsor my blog and pay me lots of money.

Waiting…

Waiting…

Waiting…

Well, folks, it’s been a dozen years since I wrote this post and I’m still waiting to be discovered and to start rolling in the dough. Also, in case anyone is interested, here is the post that generated all those anomalous page views back in 2021. I posted it as a Flashback Friday post here on this blog on September 10, 2021.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — May 3rd

Fandango13 Comments

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on any day this past year and link to that post in a comment.

How about it? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Flashback Friday post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

This was originally posted on May 3, 2018 on this blog.

#writephoto — Househunters International

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“Oh honey, I love it,” Sheila said to her husband. “Can’t you image our daughters walking down that elegant stairway wearing their formal gowns on prom night?”

“I don’t know, Sheila,” Ben said. “It’s kinda dark and somewhat ominous looking, don’t you think?”

Sheila ignored Ben. “And that balcony. It’s so romantic. Picture the twins standing up there like two beautiful Juliets with their adoring Romeos below, looking up at them lovingly.”

“May I remind you, Sheila, that things didn’t end well for Romeo and Juliet,” Ben said. “Listen, dear, I know you’ve always dreamed of living in a castle in Europe, but I would rather find a contemporary place close to town with all of the modern amenities. This place is too cold and damp and way too big for just you, me, and the twins. Don’t you agree, Vlad?”

The real estate broker, who had been showing the couple different properties all day, smiled at the two of them. “Well,” he said, “as they say, ‘When in Transylvania, do as the Transylvanians do.’ And this place is the very model of Transylvania.”

“Okay, we’ll think about it, Vlad, and Sheila and I will get back to you,” Ben said. “Meanwhile, the sun is setting and it’s going to be dark soon, so let’s call it a day.”

“Don’t you you want to see the rest of the place?” Vlad asked. “One of the best features of this particular home is the large game room just down the stairs over there. You must see it.”

Sheila gave Ben a pleading look. “Fine,” Ben said. “But then we’re out of here.”

Sheila and Ben followed Vlad as he led them down a set of stone steps leading to the lower level. “This looks more like a crypt than a game room,” Ben observed.

Vlad got a large smile on this otherwise stoic face. “It does, doesn’t it?” he said, the smile on his face broadening.

Ben looked at Vlad and then at Sheila. A chill ran down Ben’s spine as Vlad’s appearance changed. Vlad’s top canine teeth on both sides seemed to have grown longer, and in the dim light, the whites of his eyes had turned blood red.

Another twofer. Written for Sue Vincent’s Thursday Photo Prompt and for today’s one-word prompt, “observe.”

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — April 26th

Fandango5 Comments

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on any day this past year and link to that post in a comment.

How about it? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Flashback Friday post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

This was originally posted on April 26, 2018 on this blog.

Snidely Whiplash

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When I was a lot younger than I am now, I used to watch “The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends” on TV. I loved the show, an animated television series that originally aired from November 1959 to June 1964.

Produced by Jay Ward Productions, the series was structured as a cartoon variety show, with the main feature being the serialized adventures of the two title characters, Rocky the flying squirrel and Bullwinkle the moose.

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The main adversaries in most of their adventures were two Russian-like spies Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale.

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Other segments of the half-hour cartoon show included characters like Dudley Do-Right of the Mounties (a parody of old-time melodrama), Peabody’s Improbable History (a dog named Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman traveling through time), and Fractured Fairy Tales (classic fairy tales retold in comic fashion).

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Snidely Whiplash was the archenemy of Dudley Do-Right. Whiplash was the depicted as the stereotypical villain in the style of stock characters found in silent movies and earlier stage melodrama, wearing black clothing, a top hat, and sporting a handlebar mustache.

Snidely Whiplash was a character that, to me, anyway, is the personification (to the extent that a cartoon character can serve as a personification) of a cur, or a contemptible man. So naturally, when I saw today’s one-word prompt, “cur,” I immediately thought about Snidely.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — April 12th

Fandango12 Comments

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on any day this past year and link to that post in a comment.

How about it? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Flashback Friday post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

This was originally posted on April 12, 2018 on this blog.

#writephoto — The Mysterious Case of the Disappearing Footprints

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“This is weird.” Pointing toward the rocks, Jon said, “These footprints in the sand seem to start over there at rocks, but they end right here in front of us.”

“Not only that,” Jon’s buddy, Steve, said. “But look how far apart they are. It’s like the guy who made them was running.”

“But what could he have been running from?” Jon asked. “This place seems to be deserted. I haven’t seen another soul all day.”

“They’re pretty large footprints,” Steve observed. “They are from a man’s shoes.”

Both young men looked around, concerned that perhaps they weren’t alone on the island.

“What happened to him? Why did the footprints disappear?” Jon wondered aloud. “It’s not like the high tide washed them away. We’re too far from the water’s edge for that to have happened.”

“I think we need to head back to the boat and get off this island. Something weird is going on here,” Steve said.

“Fine by me,” Jon responded. “I’m thirsty, anyway.”

As the two started heading to where they had left their small boat, they noticed a whirring sound coming from overhead. They both looked up simultaneously to see a strange looking, cigar-shaped object hovering above them. “What the hell is that?” Jon asked.

But before Steve could answer, two beams of light engulfed the two men and they suddenly found themselves becoming elevated and carried up toward the cigar-shaped object.

At some point later Jon awoke to find himself strapped to a table with some strange looking creatures staring down at him. He looked over to his right and saw Steve similarly strapped down. Steve was also waking up.

“Well,” Jon said. “I think the mystery of the disappearing footprints has been solved.”

Written for this week’s Thursday Photo Prompt from Sue Vincent. Photo credit: Sue Vincent.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — April 5th

Fandango9 Comments

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on any day this past year and link to that post in a comment.

How about it? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Flashback Friday post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

This was originally posted on April 5, 2018 on this blog.

MLMM — It Cures All That Ails You

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Ah yes, the old snake oil salesman. Who can forget all those stories about the con man who tries to sell you some sort of magic elixir that will make you feel good again?

Apparently there are a lot of gullible people in the world who are susceptible to such nonsense. In fact, about 46 percent of American voters bought into that crap in November 2016 and around 40 percent are still lapping it up.

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Yes, many Americans are still clamoring for their daily doses of Trump Oil.

Are you tired of all those rapists, drug dealers, and bad hombres flooding across the border from Mexico? Try a spoonful of Trump Oil.

Concerned that too many white, Christian citizens are being unfairly persecuted? Rub some Trump Oil on the palms of your hands twice daily.

All those costly regulations designed to ensure that you breathe clean air, drink pure water, and that are designed to mitigate climate change getting you down? Take yourself a nice warm Trump Oil bubble bath.

Concerned about how unfairly autocrats, dictators, and strong men around the globe are being treated? A little Trump Oil on your ice cream will make you feel much better.

Tired of all that fake news being spewed by the mainstream media? Try Trump Oil Alternative Facts Syrup on your pancakes.

Worried that all those gays, lesbians, and transgender weirdos will cause you to have to marry someone of your own gender? Try a Trump Oil cocktail. That will set things straight.

Are all those militant feminazis out there in their pink pussy hats demanding the right to control their own bodies and make their own choices driving you crazy? Spray them with some Trump Oil mist and watch them melt like that wicked witch.

Don’t believe that all of the “fine people on both sides” are getting the kudos they deserve? Try a peanut butter and Trump Oil sandwich.

Think that large corporations are paying too much in taxes? Chug a bit of Trump Oil and watch those tax corporate dollars evaporate.

Afraid that someone is going to take away all of your AR-15 military-style, semiautomatic assault rifles? Mix a little Trump Oil with your NRA brand Kool-Aid, and everything will be okay.

Yes, friends, step right up. For just the price of your eternal soul, Trump Oil will drain the swamp and take care of everything. It cures all that ails you, real or imagined. Especially imagined.

And never forget Hillary’s emails.

Written for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Making Sense of Nonsense prompt.

2024 post script: Here we are, six years later, and Trump Oil is flying off the shelves. How far we’ve fallen.