Fibbing Friday — Mixed Bag of Fibs

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Di’s turn to host and here are her questions.

1. What is the difference between an earth worm and an ear worm?

Easy peasy. An earth worm lives in the earth and an ear worm lives in your ear.

2. What is a Mars Bar?

It’s the bar where singer Bruno Mars goes to unwind after a live performance.

3. What color is a peanut?

Normally they’re light brown, but at Easter, the tradition is to paint peanuts with pastel colors and hide them around the yard so the kids can go on an Easter peanut hunt.

4. What is meant by dressed up like a dog’s dinner?

It’s a fetish that involves covering certain parts of your body with wet dog food and letting your dog lick it off you. I’ve never tried it, but I heard it can be quite erotic if one is into that sort of thing.

5. What is an orange pippin?

Donald Trump.

6. What do an owl, pussy cat, and five pound note all have in common?

Five pounds sterling, or $6.70 US, is the application fee for those who wish to adopt either an owl or a pussy cat from an animal shelter.

Where would you find a Bunny Girl?

A Playboy Club.

8. What is the difference between an heir and a hair?

An “e” versus an “a” in the spellings. And also the “h” is silent in “heir,” but it’s pronounced in “hair.”

9. What is meant by fringe benefits?

It’s what happens when a relationship between friends becomes sexual.

10. What is a whimsy?

It’s that feeling you get between your legs when your relationship with a friend becomes sexual.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — September 24th

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 24th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.


This was originally posted on September 24, 2017.

My Batteries Need Charging

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I do almost everything on my iPhone. I barely use my laptop anymore because it’s simply more convenient to use my smart, handheld device than it is to chain myself to my desk and use my laptop. And, honestly, there’s very little that I need to do on my laptop that I can’t do on my iPhone. I’m even writing this post on my iPhone.

I have an iPhone 6, which is about two-and-half years old. That’s about 75 in human years. So it’s old. But it works.

A few days ago I downloaded and installed iOS 11.0 for my iPhone. I did it not because there was anything wrong with iOS 10-dot-whatever that was previously running on my iPhone. It was working just fine.

iOS 11.0 seems to be working just fine, as well. And it does have a handful of new features, one or two of which might even be useful once I discover what they are.

But I’m not writing this post to brag about iOS 11.0. I’m writing this post to warn you about it. If you have an iPhone, and it’s not the latest, greatest iPhone, don’t download and install the new operating system. It consumes your battery life at an astonishing rate.

You know that little battery icon in the upper right corner of your screen? With iOS 11.0, I can literally see the battery draining. Since installing the latest OS, my iPhone’s battery is usually down to about 20% within just a few hours. Previously, the battery lasted most of the day before I had to set it aside for a little while to recharge it.

And, by the way, recharging the battery back to 100% takes longer with iOS 11.0. A lot longer.

I think the problem is that the new OS is designed to run most efficiently on the newest hardware. So I guess there’s only one viable solution to this iOS 11.0 problem.

I am going to pamper myself and purchase a new iPhone X in November when it becomes available. I’m sure that will solve my battery life problems and all will once again be right with the world.


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “pamper.”


Post script September 24, 2012

I was fascinated when I found this post that I wrote exactly four years ago. Shortly after I wrote it, I noticed that my iPhone 6 was running much slower than it had before I upgraded to iOS 11.0. Apparently Apple had decided to intentionally (and without informing anyone) slow down the performance of its older iPhones in order to attempt to extend the batter life after iOS 11.0 started sucking the life out of the iPhones’ batteries.

I did buy a new iPhone in November, but it was an iPhone 8 Plus, not an iPhone X, and that saved me a couple of hundred dollars. I traded in my sluggish iPhone 6 for an iPhone 8 Plus because it was a larger device than my iPhone 6 and I figured that, as a newer device — albeit not the newest device — the battery would last longer, which it did. And, best of all, it was much faster than my older iPhone. Last year, I upgraded to the iPhone 12 Pro Max, an even larger device than my iPhone 8 Plus.

But what is most interesting to me, exactly four years later, is that Apple just introduced iOS 15.0 and I’ve been debating with myself about whether to install the new iOS or to wait for a while. If I learned anything from my experience from four years ago, it’s probably that I should wait. Unfortunately, I tend toward instant gratification, so the idea that this sexy new update to Apple iOS is available is gnawing at my desire to have the latest and greatest of whatever is available. I have a feeling that I’ll be installing iOS 15.0 sooner, rather than later.

FOWC with Fandango — Lecture

FOWC

Welcome to September 24, 2021 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (U.S.).

Today’s word is “lecture.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.

Huh?

“I love your beret,” Sarah said to her best friend, Liz.”

Needless to say, I picked it up at that boutique you suggested in town,” Liz said. “I was window shopping, saw it there, and realized that I must have it. I walked in, pointed to the beret, and emphatically commanded the sales clerk to sell it to me.”

“Well, it really looks good on you,” Sarah said.

“I would hope so,” Liz said. “It cost more than I wanted to spend, but despite every effort to resist, I couldn’t help myself.”

“As the old saying goes,” Sarah said, “another day another dollar.”

“Huh?” Liz said, giving her friend a quizzical look.”


Written for the following daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (needless), My Vivid Blog (beret/window), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (boutique/suggest), Your Daily Word Prompt emphatic), The Daily Spur (effort), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (another day).

Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness

I always thought
That having
A lot of
Money
Would make me
Happy
I was wrong
I Fear


Written for:

KL Casey’s #writephoto (money). Image by KL Caley.

Jim Adams’ Thursday Inspiration (happy).

Stephanie Colpron’s Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Tale Weaver prompt (fear).