Ticks All the Boxes

20E5D511-E2A1-4386-9FCE-F98127A39BAB“I’m really excited to show you this next property,” the broker said. “It’s in the zip code you said you preferred.

“What’s the asking price?” Mickey asked.

“It’s a little above your budget,” the broker said. “They’re asking $1.2 million.”

“A little above?” Mickey said. “That’s malarkey. Four hundred thousand is not a little over budget. It’s a whole lot over budget.”

“But it does tick all your boxes and it’s really quite a unique property,” the broker said. “I’ll even offer to shave a percentage point off of my commission.”

“I appreciate that,” Mickey said, “but I’m going to have to impose upon you the need to not exceed my max amount of $800 thousand and you still need to find me something that ticks all my boxes but doesn’t go over budget.”

“Yes sir,” the broker said, “your wish is my command. Let’s head to the car and I’ll show you a few other properties.” As they were walking to the car, the broker thought about how much she hated her job.


Written for these one-word prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (property, impose), Ragtag Daily Prompt (zip), Word of the Day Challenge (malarkey), Your Daily Word Prompt (unique, percentage), and Scott’s Daily Prompt (command).

Glamorous

48F7B34C-F794-49A0-B5F6-7350F087479A“Oh my God!” Linda shouted from the bathroom.

Eric, who was sitting in the living room, heard his wife cry out and ran to the bathroom to see what was going on. “Linda, are you okay!”

“Does it look like I’m okay?” she screamed, tears streaming down from her eyes. “My skin is on fire. I think I’m having some sort of chemical reaction to this new makeup.”

“Wash you face,” Eric suggested. “Give it a good scrub.”

Linda washed her face and then looked at her reflection in the mirror. “I quit,” she said. “I wanted to look so good for your birthday party tonight, Eric. But my skin looks like I’ve spent the day in a deep freeze in Antarctica, for crissake. Now I’m going to have to wear a bag over my head tonight.”

“Wait a second,” Eric said. He reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out a tube of ointment and squeezed some onto his fingers. “This stuff is like magic. Whenever I get razor burn from shaving, I rub a generous amount of this on my skin and it soothes it. It’s great stuff.”

Eric very gently and tenderly rubbed a thick coating of the ointment onto Linda’s skin, massaging it in as he covered her chin, cheeks, nose, and forehead. “That feels almost cold on my skin,” she said.

“Let it stay on for a minute and then rinse it off,” he instructed.

After a minute, Linda rinsed the ointment off her face. She looked in the mirror, smiled, and then turned to Eric. “Well?”

“Well,” Eric said, hugging her. “You, my beautiful wife, look absolutely glamorous,” he whispered in her ear.


Written for these one-word prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (chemical), Your Daily Word Prompt (quit), Ragtag Daily Prompt (birthday), Word of the Day Challenge (freeze), Scotts Daily Prompt (bag), and Weekly Prompt (glamorous).

“ent” and “ant”

A39D4C26-BC49-4184-824A-35D019E749E7Today’s one-word prompt from Sheryl at Your Daily Word Prompt is “dependant.” The problem with that word is that my spell checker keeps highlighting it and my autocorrect keeps changing it to “dependent.” That’s because I have my spell-checker and autocorrect set to US (American) English. And in American English, dependant is a misspelling.

According to my exhaustive research, in British English, “dependant” can also be spelled “dependent.” In British English, dependent is an adjective, and dependant is a noun. “Dependent” is the adjective meaning needing something or someone else for support: Many adults are dependent upon coffee to help them wake up in the morning. “Dependant” is a noun used for a person (such as a child) who relies upon others for care: The parents must sign for a dependant to be able to have the surgery.

But for those who use American English, the word “dependent” is used for both meanings. There is no word “dependant.”

Interestingly, the word “defendant” rhymes with the word “dependent,” but the former ends in “ant” while the latter end in “ent.” This is just another example about how screwy the English language is. And that doesn’t even include the myriad other spelling differences between American and British English.

And don’t even get me started on the differences between how punctuation relative to quotation marks is different between American and British English, which I whined about here.

Getting the Job Done

8BE41860-76AC-412A-B2E0-840798DA1BE4I was the advanced man on the team. My mission was to finesse my way into the inner circle using my unique skill set. I needed to make them feel secure that I wasn’t a threat and knew what I was doing. Then, once having gained their trust, my job would be to ensure there were no ripples of discontent.

It wasn’t easy, because they were a squirrelly bunch. But I had more than a few tricks up my sleeve, so it was just a matter of time before I was ready to contact the rest of my team to come in and finish it. The outcome was always a foregone conclusion, we were that good. Once the mission was accomplished, my new role was to mop things up. I was known as the guy who was the first in and the last out.

I loved owning my own kitchen renovation company.


Written for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (advanced), Word of the Day Challenge (finesse), Your Daily Word Prompt (unique), Scotts Daily Prompt (ripples), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (squirrel).

Mister MITOO

The way Republicans, Fox News, and, especially, the MITOO (moron in the Oval Office), manufacture fear and loathing among Trump’s gullible followers makes me seethe with rage.

For example, the so-called migrant “caravan” (or what Fox News and Trump call an “invasion by a hostile force”) slowly heading north toward the US/Mexico border was the red meat Trump was throwing to his base. But as of today, this caravan is still hundreds of miles from the U.S. border. And that means those people seeking asylum are still weeks away from even the nearest US border crossing.

Now that the midterm elections are over, though, when was the last time you heard Donald Trump and his sycophants going nuts over this manufacturered invasion? The bogus, partisan crisis has apparently passed, due to the apparent failure of this scare tactic to motivate enough diehard Trumpsters to vote enough Republican candidates into the House of Representatives to maintain a GOP majority.

Democrats need a muse to inspire them, and while they did pretty well on Tuesday, they must figure out how to guide this victory into a path toward saving the American democracy.

And I also need a muse to figure out how fit the word tactile into this post. Oh wait. I just added this photo I found on Google Images. I think it is illustrative of tactile, don’t you?7AEEC518-3FC6-4B42-9D89-DD944E5CF100


Written for these one word prompts: Scotts Daily Prompt (manufacture), Ragtag Daily Prompt (seethe), Your Daily Word Prompt (nearest), Daily Addictions (muse), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (guide), and Word of the Day Challenge (tactile).