This, That, and the Other

I am unofficially participating in this year’s A to Z Challenge. My theme this year is girlfriends.

S is for Sally L.

I have been racking my brain trying to remember how I met Sally, but I keep coming up empty. It’s as if one day I didn’t know her and the next day we were going out on dates. Oh well, I guess how we met is not as important as that we met.

Anyway, I was a freshman in college and she was a junior in high school. Maybe I met her at a party or at a bar or someone introduced us. I don’t know. But Sally was really cute, about 5’8 with dirty blond hair, and greenish eyes, and one of her front teeth was metal.

The story she told me was that she got her tooth knocked out during a competitive game of beach volleyball and her metal tooth was temporary until a porcelain crown or bridge or whatever was ready. That took a few months after I met her and I nicknamed her “Snaggletooth.”

We had gone on a few dates and I really didn’t make any overt sexual moves on her because she was just 17, if you know what I mean. We’d been out to the movies, to dinner, to a few parties together, but I was always the perfect gentleman.

About a month into this so far mostly platonic relationship I had picked her up for a date and we were on our way to see a movie when she opened up the glove compartment of my car, a 1963 Sunbeam Alpine, a British sports roadster. After rooting around in my glove compartment looking, I guess, for something interesting, she grabbed my stopwatch. “What’s this for?” she asked.

I told her that on weekends I would participate with a buddy of mine in road rallies and we used that stopwatch as a way to stay on the course and time our check-ins.

She asked me to pull to the side of the road and wanted me to teach her how to use the stopwatch. I could almost see the wheels turning in her head as I was showing her the stopwatch worked. Finally, she looked at me and asked me if she could time something on the stopwatch. I had no idea what she had in mind, but she reached over and unzipped my fly, reached inside, grabbed my penis and said “Go” as she clicked the stopwatch into motion.

Then she clicked the stopwatch again and said, “19 seconds from soft to hard.”

She was right, but I was defensive and said, “What did you expect? You pulled my dick out and started squeezing and pulling on it. I’m surprised it took that long for me to get that way.”

Sally was totally fascinated with her new toys…my stopwatch and my penis. Over the next week she wanted to time how long it for her to bring me to orgasm with her hand, and later, with her mouth. Then she wanted to time how long it took for me to bring her to orgasm in several different ways. As a result of this fascination of hers, I stopped calling her “Snaggletooth” and re-nicknamed her “Stopwatch Sally.”

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of telling a friend of mine about Stopwatch Sally. He must have known someone who knew someone who knew Sally. The next thing I knew, I got a call from Sally, who was livid because it had gotten back to her through the grapevine that her nickname was Stopwatch Sally and why that was her nickname.

I apologized profusely, but she wouldn’t have it, and told me she never wanted to see me again. The only problem was that she still had my stopwatch. When I asked if I could have it back, she screamed, “Fuck you!” and slammed her phone down so hard that I’m sure it busted her telephone.

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