I forgot to post my Flashback Friday post yesterday. Probably due a combination of fighting off a bout of Bronchitis that has drained much of my energy and posting my daily A to Z posts. Or maybe just because I’m old and can be forgetful. But then I ran across this post that I published on my old blog 13 years ago today, where, having just turned 65, I did a little self-reflection. Here we go.
All in all, I had a very pleasant 65th birthday. But now that I am “officially” a senior citizen, I cannot help but reflect back on my life so far…the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I have a lot to be thankful for and even some accomplishments to be proud of. But, like most of us, I also have regrets. I could have been a better husband, a better father, a better man.
I also realize that I should have paid better attention in my personal financial management class in college.
Okay, back on topic. Remember that old Cher song where she sings, “If I could turn back time”? Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice? Imagine if, after you’ve said or done something you look back upon with regret, you could have a chance to do it over, to do it different, to do it better. It’s a wish that, at one time or another, probably most of us have had.
Unfortunately, such wishes just don’t come true in the real world; there are no do-overs. The past is the past and there’s nothing anyone can do to change or erase it. We simply have to live with our pasts…the things we did, the words we said, the mistakes we made.
Woulda coulda shoulda
In my humble opinion, it’s a waste of time and energy dwelling on the past. Second-guessing oneself or exploring other possible responses after the fact is not necessarily a bad thing as long as one doesn’t become too caught up in the paths taken or not taken.
Instead of getting wrapped up in an endless cycle of the woulda coulda shoulda blame game, we need to move forward and strive to make the best of our present and future. Spending time pondering how we might have done some things differently…and possibly beating ourselves up for it…is an exercise in futility.
I’m not suggesting that we can’t learn from our past and from the decisions we’ve made and the paths we’ve followed. We can learn a lot from both our successes and our failures, from what we did right and what we did wrong. And we can strive to not make the same mistakes over again. But there is simply no way to undo our failures or reverse our mistakes.
Alexander Pope, an eighteenth-century English poet, wrote, “To err is human….” I am most definitely human, for I made plenty of “errs” in my first 65 years. I’ve done some stupid, thoughtless, and even hurtful things. Afterwards, I asked myself “what was I thinking?” or “why did I do (or say) that?” Unfortunately, once the action takes place or the words escape our lips, it’s too late; the damage is done.
Pope continued, “…to forgive, divine.” I don’t know how many more years I’ve got left. I’d like to think that I have as many to go as I’ve seen go by, but short of some medical miracle that extends life expectancy considerably, I’m not counting on that. For however many years I do have left, though, wouldn’t it be truly “divine,” as Pope suggested, if those I may have wronged or hurt could forgive me for being the flawed human that I am?
And so, despite what Cher might sing, and no matter how hard you wish you could, you simply can’t turn back time. You can only move forward.
The image above: M.C. Escher, “Hand with Reflecting Sphere.”
This, That, and the Other 