Dissociative Identity Disorder

80EE98FC-6E68-463C-BAE1-C5AB88E27100“I’ve never seen anything like this in all of my years as a psychiatrist,” Dr. Reginald Philpot said. “Elizabeth has 16 unique personalities that I have personally identified and been in contact with each one of them. This has to rank near the very top of such cases.”

At the risk of sounding pedantic about, I know that there have been other cases of more severe dissociative identity disorder than this one,” Claudine Murray, a graduate student pointed out. “There is a woman in London, a painter, who has more than 100 separate personalities.”

“Well, that may be the case, Miss Murray,” Philpot said, defensively, “but I still believe that my unique therapeutic techniques and methods of my Elizabeth, with her 16 personalities, have been truly effective, and when I publish my study, the response will be nothing short of lavish.”

“What is it, doctor, that makes your therapeutic techniques so unique and effective?” Claudine asked.

“I’m so glad you asked, Miss Murray,” Philpot said. “It involves a high degree of intimacy.”

Claudine raised an eyebrow and glared at Dr. Philpot. “By ‘intimacy,’ doctor, you don’t mean….”

Dr. Philpot interrupted Claudine. “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean, Miss Murray. “I’ve had sex with each and every one of Elizabeth’s 16 personalities and it’s been the best sex I’ve ever had…by a factor of sixteen.”

Written for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge. Photo credit: Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com. Also written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (contact), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (rank), Ragtag Daily Prompt (pedantic), and Your Daily Word Prompt (lavish).

Suspenders and Face Masks

454CB634-725B-4CC7-9F88-A2E159DF09BAI have have some positive news to share about the coronavirus pandemic. I’ve lost about ten pounds since this whole shelter-in-place order has been in effect. I don’t know why that is, because, other than when I go out and walk my dog, I spend the rest of my time sitting on my ass inside my house. And yet, I’m shedding pounds, something that make my wife very annoyed, since she’s not.

As a result of this weight loss, my pants don’t fit me anymore. Unfortunately, I have no hips to speak of and I have a flat butt. Hence, my old jeans, which are now too big around the waist, keep falling down, even with my belt on. To address this dilemma, I ordered a pair of clip on suspenders from Amazon, and they were delivered last week. I also ordered some new jeans with a smaller waist size.

So now, when I wear my older jeans, I use suspenders to hold them up, despite the fact that my wife says it makes me look like an old-timey farmer. And when I wear my new, smaller-waisted jeans, using my belt to keep them up works fine.

God doesn’t wear a face mask

In the weirdness file, an Ohio lawmaker is objecting to the wearing of face masks on the grounds that God doesn’t wear one. Wearing a face mask, Republican state representative Nino Vitale argues, dishonors God.276BCABA-62D1-423C-B20C-938456DDCC29“This is the greatest nation on earth founded on Judeo-Christian Principles. One of those principles is that we are all created in the image and likeness of God. That image is seen the most by our face. I will not wear a mask,” Vitale wrote on Facebook. “That’s the image of God right there, and I want to see it in my brothers and sisters.”

Seriously folks, you can’t make this shit up.

My Second Vincent Ehindero Blogger Award

5B810A6A-B3E3-476D-959D-7E8E9F3E7E24Back in March I was nominated for my first Vincent Ehindero Blogger Award. Vincent Ehindero is a self-identified “online influencer and inspirational writer who gives awards to bloggers and blogs to support their good works.”

Now, Dr. Tanya, over at Salted Caramel, has honored me by including me among the six bloggers that she has nominated for this award.

As someone who has declared his blog to be an award-free blog, I don’t follow all of the rules. But I’m happy to answer the questions asked as part of the nomination. So I’m going to answer the same questions Dr. Tanya answered when Sadje, over at Keep It Alive, asked when she tagged Dr. Tanya for the award. Here we go.

What’s the last movie that you watched?

We watched a weirdly entertaining movie called “Jojo Rabbit” on pay-per-view.”CAC646E1-EBBF-48FA-9521-00F83B391465I knew that the movie was nominated for an Oscar, but a fantasy/comedy involving Hitler didn’t really appeal to me. Then my brother-in-law recommended it and it was surprisingly enjoyable and even touching.

What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

In the winter, it’s stay inside and sit in the living room on the sofa in front of a roaring fire and read a book or watch TV. In the summer it’s stay inside and sit in the living room on the sofa just below an air conditioning vent and read a book or watch TV.

What are you doing to beat the lockdown blues?

I’m retired, so my life hasn’t materially changed since the lockdown commenced, other than being able to communicate with my adult kids mostly via text and to see them only via Zoom.

How long can you go without using your phone?

Between the hours of 11 pm and 6 am.

What do you most value in your friends?

Um, let me see. Oh, I know — their friendship.

Do you have a favorite fictional character? What makes her/him your favorite?

Oh my. There are so many great fictional characters that it’s really tough to choose just one. I dunno. Maybe Atticus Finch from “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Why? Because he was a principled man.

Winter or Summer?

When we lived in San Francisco, there wasn’t that much of a difference, temperature wise, between winter and summer. Because winter is the rainy season in San Francisco, I preferred the summer. Now that I live on the East Bay, even though it’s only about 35 miles east of San Francisco, the climate is very different: cooler in the winter and much hotter in the summer. So now I’m going to say I prefer winter.

What is love, in your point of view?

It’s when you place the welfare, well-being, and happiness of someone else over your own.

What is your favorite movie or TV show?

This is a hard one because there are so many of both to choose from. But if I had to pick, off the top of my head I’d say — Movie: “Annie Hall.” TV show: “Cheers.”

If you could time travel, where (when?) would you go?

Anytime before Donald Trump became president.

One-Liner Wednesday — True Ignorance

“True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.”

Austrian-born British philosopher and social commentator Karl Popper

I’m not going to mention any names of any current world leaders, but if any of you care to name one you believe this quote could apply to, please feel free to weigh in.FCC26B1E-6B6B-4190-AED8-E66BBFCC309B

Written for today One-Liner Wednesday prompt from Linda G. Hill. Image credit: Daily Koz

Fandango’s Provocative Question #69

FPQWelcome once again to Fandango’s Provocative Question. Each week I will pose what I think is a provocative question for your consideration.

By provocative, I don’t mean a question that will cause annoyance or anger. Nor do I mean a question intended to arouse sexual desire or interest.

What I do mean is a question that is likely to get you to think, to be creative, and to provoke a response. Hopefully a positive response.

There’s a lot of heavy shit that is going on these days, so I thought I’d go with something lightweight this week. A softball provocative question. Something you might have some fun with.

I came up with this week’s question after Marilyn Armstrong asked this question in one of her recent posts. “Have you watched any superhero movies? Don’t you wish we had some real ones?”

My question this week is a variation on Marilyn’s. My question is:

Assume you are a real-life superhero. What is your super power? What is the largest obstacle to using your super power?

If you choose to participate, write a post with your response to the question. Once you are done, tag your post with #FPQ and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments. But remember to check to confirm that your pingback or your link shows up in the comments.