Time To Soar

69EBF9D7-327F-4928-B234-9CB937CA8831“So how are you feeling now that the divorce is final?” Claire asked her best friend over coffee at the local Starbucks.

“Oh my God, Claire,” Diana responded. “I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted off of me. I feel so light that if a strong breeze came along, it would lift me up and I’d fly through the air.”

“That’s great, Diana,” Claire said. “After all you’ve been through, you deserve happiness.”

Diana sighed and her eyes glassed over. “Claire, what’s going to happen to me now?” Diana said. “I’m floating, but where is that breeze going to take me? Where am I going to land? What am I going to do?”

“You’re a strong woman and I’ve no doubt that you’ll land on your feet,” Claire said, trying to reassure her friend.

“I hope you’re right, but I’m so used to being Steve’s wife and it’s been so long since I’ve been on my own,” Diana said. “I’m not used to flying solo.”

“Listen, Diana,” Claire said. “You know what they say about fight or flight? Well, my friend, you won the fight. Now it’s time for you to take flight. It’s time for you to soar.”

Written for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge. Photo credit: Javier Ideami

The Sky Is Falling

Falling lights“Oh my God,” Sara said, sitting next to Todd on the sandy lake shore and looking up at the night sky. “I hate to sound like Chicken Little, but I think the sky is falling.”

“The only thing that’s falling,” Todd said, “is me for you.”

“Seriously, Todd,” Sara said, “I don’t know if you’re trying to butter me up, but I’m freaking out right now. Look at those lights or whatever they are. They seem to be dripping down from the sky. What is this?”

“This is love, Sara,” Todd said, “and all I can see right now is the reflection of my feelings for you in the deep blue pool of your eyes.”

“Todd, shut up. Now is not the time,” Sara said. “I don’t think you see the gravity of our situation. Something incredibly weird is happening here. I think we need to get out of here now!” Sara stood up, but Todd grabbed her hand to stop her from leaving.

“Go?” Todd said. “No way, Sara. All I can feel at this very moment is this electric current running through my body as we sit here together on the shore looking out on the glass-like surface of the lake and the exquisite light show in the sky above us. It makes me feel so heady.”

“Are you kidding me?” Sara said. “We don’t have time for me to list for you how inappropriate you’re being under the circumstances. Don’t you see what’s happening?”

“What’s happening is….”

Todd was interrupted by the sound of the huge extraterrestrial vehicle coming down from the night sky and alighting on the lake waters, churning them up enough to engulf the young couple.

Written for this week’s Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge. Photo credit: Google Images. Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (butter), Daily Addictions (pool), The Daily Spur (current), Word of the Day Challenge (glass), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (heady), and Your Daily Word Prompt (list).

Weekly Prompts Photo Challenge — Grin

4FB3BD2C-BE16-4A37-816C-A41072528E3DI took this selfie of me this morning with a big grin on my face specifically for today’s Weekly Prompts Photo Challenge. The theme for the challenge is “grin.”

And you thought I was a serious guy. See, I can smile. I can clown around with the best of them. Just don’t get me started on politics or religion!

How about you? Let’s see that puss of yours with a big, fat, happy grin.

Bruno is Back

C69A9D88-7203-40E6-8F88-5BEBA03CEFDCHe had been missing since last winter and we were all doubtful that any of us would ever see out beloved Bruno again.

But then my nephew discovered a service that claimed that, with as little as three strands of fur from Bruno, the company would be able to clone an animal one that would be an exact biological duplicate of our missing pet. So, of course, we were all very excited and agreed without hesitation to the process.

“Now it’s fundamental that we get at least three strands of fur from your old pet so that we can match them to the native characteristics of Bruno,” the clone technician said. “It will take about a month from when you provide us with the strands for us to replicate the DNA and use it to create a clone of Bruno.”

Around a month later, we were contacted by the cloning surface that the process was complete. We arrived at the facility and were escorted into this room with a large pool of water in its center. “Keep your eye on the surface of the water,” the technician said. “Your Bruno will be surfacing momentarily.”

The group let out an collective gasp when the cloned Bruno’s head broke through the surface. Momma fainted. Dad said, “That’s not Bruno! Bruno was our cat! That’s our neighbor’s dog, Rover.”

Danny started clapping and giggling. Dad looked at him and said, “Danny, what did you do?”

“I switched the fur strands,” Danny said, a big grin on his face. “I hated that damn cat and I love our neighbor’s dog. Duh!”

Written for this week’s Photo Challenge from Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie. Photo credit: Google Images.

Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (missing), The Daily Spur (winter), Daily Addictions (doubtful), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (duplicate), Your Daily Word Prompt (fundamental), and Word of the Day Challenge (native).

Note: this story is pure, unadulterated bullshit. There is no cloning science whatsoever in this post.

Weekly Prompts — Photo Challenge — Line-up

The weekend’s photo challenge here on Weekly Prompts is “Line-up.” The challenge notes that there are lots of possibilities here: line em up and shoot em… photographs that is!

I was unsure of what to do for this prompt, as I am not a photographer and have no photographs of things lined up. I was feeling quite depressed about having nothing to use for this prompt. I decided that what I needed to overcome my profound depression was a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream ice cream. That always makes me feel better.

So I walked to my local Safeway to pick up the ice cream. But guess what happened when I got there! It was very crowded with customers and there were very few cashiers. As a result…

drumroll please…

…people were lined up at the checkout lines.

And I took a picture…2BEDFB76-ECC1-4707-B2F7-C6A13E7BDC0F…of all the people lined up to pay for their groceries.