Make Sheltering-in-Place More Tolerable

“It’ll be here before we know it,” Craig said.

“Dude, you’ve been saying that for three weeks now and they haven’t even given us a shipping date yet,” Alan pointed out.

“The demand is outpacing the supply since the lockdown began and the manufacturer can’t produce them fast enough,” Craig said.

“Dammit, Craig,” Alan said, “if you had ordered it when the stay-at-home mandate was first issued in mid-March, like I told you to, it would have been here by now.”

“But Trump said the virus would disappear like a miracle,” Craig said, defensively. “He also said the warm temperatures in April would kill it and that the country would reopen by Easter. And if that was the case, we wouldn’t have needed to order it.”

“Did any of that happen?”

“Well, no,” Craig admitted, “so that’s why I ordered it the Monday after Easter.”

“And so here we are in early May and we don’t even know when it will ship,” Alan lamented.

“Well, as they say, good things come to those who wait,” Craig said. “And look at this beautiful, state-of-the-art, realistic, Japanese sex doll.” He opened up his computer and showed Alan the image of what he ordered.3F31C0E8-D995-4DFB-BFC1-51AF4FC07362“Yeah, she’d be worth the wait, I suppose,”Alan admitted.

“And she’d make sheltering-in-place much more tolerable,” Craig added.

Written for Rachel Poli’s Time to Write Sentence Starter prompt, where the sentence is, “It’ll be here before we know it.”

SoCS — Apply As Needed

For this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, Linda G. Hill has given us very specific directions. In fact, her prompt is the word “directions,” and she’s given us directions to “find a household cleaner, bottle of shampoo, something in the freezer, or anything you can find with instructions on it, then copy down a single direction (just one) on how to use, cook, etc. your chosen thing, and make it the first line or word of your post. Then keep writing whatever comes out.”

I was already in bed last night when I realized that I hadn’t yet picked out an item to use to satisfy this prompt, so I frantically went through my night table drawer looking for something — anything — with instructions on how to use the item printed on its label. And this is the only thing I found that actually had directions on it:B5B965D4-A937-42C0-8956-805B89ED8DCFFortunately, I didn’t have to choose “a single direction (just one) on how to use” it because there is only a single direction on the item:11553699-0B87-4051-837D-986B9BBFD495“Apply as needed.” Simple and straightforward, right? And, in case I have questions about how to use the product, such as, “How do I use this product if it’s not needed?” or “What specific ‘flavor’ is the inactive ingredient?” the label helpfully provides a toll-free number to call! Sweet!

What I really appreciate about the directions for the Vaseline Lip Therapy is that it doesn’t insult my intelligence by telling me to “apply as needed to lips only.”

That is apparently not the case when it comes to the directions for how to use my underarm antiperspirant, which are quite specific:4B7F71A4-A78E-480F-A666-C4B4E33034DECan you imagine the trouble I might have gotten into had I used my underarm antiperspirant on some other part of my body. The idea makes me shake in fear, which might have been fine were I using my can of Scrubbing Bubbles.111428BF-66D2-4AA7-9D79-5005517DC870

FOWC with Fandango — Dough

FOWCWelcome to May 2, 2020 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “dough.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

The issue with pingbacks not showing up seems to have been resolved, but you might check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.