Suspenders and Face Masks

454CB634-725B-4CC7-9F88-A2E159DF09BAI have have some positive news to share about the coronavirus pandemic. I’ve lost about ten pounds since this whole shelter-in-place order has been in effect. I don’t know why that is, because, other than when I go out and walk my dog, I spend the rest of my time sitting on my ass inside my house. And yet, I’m shedding pounds, something that make my wife very annoyed, since she’s not.

As a result of this weight loss, my pants don’t fit me anymore. Unfortunately, I have no hips to speak of and I have a flat butt. Hence, my old jeans, which are now too big around the waist, keep falling down, even with my belt on. To address this dilemma, I ordered a pair of clip on suspenders from Amazon, and they were delivered last week. I also ordered some new jeans with a smaller waist size.

So now, when I wear my older jeans, I use suspenders to hold them up, despite the fact that my wife says it makes me look like an old-timey farmer. And when I wear my new, smaller-waisted jeans, using my belt to keep them up works fine.

God doesn’t wear a face mask

In the weirdness file, an Ohio lawmaker is objecting to the wearing of face masks on the grounds that God doesn’t wear one. Wearing a face mask, Republican state representative Nino Vitale argues, dishonors God.276BCABA-62D1-423C-B20C-938456DDCC29“This is the greatest nation on earth founded on Judeo-Christian Principles. One of those principles is that we are all created in the image and likeness of God. That image is seen the most by our face. I will not wear a mask,” Vitale wrote on Facebook. “That’s the image of God right there, and I want to see it in my brothers and sisters.”

Seriously folks, you can’t make this shit up.

43 thoughts on “Suspenders and Face Masks

  1. animar64 May 13, 2020 / 12:59 pm

    I wear a face mask and my dog thinks I’m God…so the Gentleman From Ohio can feck off.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Sue Vincent May 13, 2020 / 1:01 pm

    An intriguing title, given that suspenders here hold up ladies stockings 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. RuthScribbles May 13, 2020 / 1:04 pm

    Lost 10 pounds?? Shut up!! I’m with your wife!! I’ve put on those 10 pounds. Oh well. Glad you have suspenders.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Stroke Survivor UK May 13, 2020 / 1:45 pm

    Good. Hopefully his followers will do the same and they will arrange a prayer group together in a nice enclosed space.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Sadje May 13, 2020 / 1:49 pm

    Congrats on weight loss, that is if it’s still in a healthy range.
    Those people must have escaped from a nut house! 😱😱😱

    Liked by 2 people

      • Sadje May 13, 2020 / 4:14 pm

        Good! I think men lose weight easier than women! Which obviously women don’t like at all!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. revivedwriter May 13, 2020 / 1:57 pm

    I’m Catholic but still recognize that that’s a dumb reason not to wear a face mask.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. anotherday2paradise May 13, 2020 / 3:09 pm

    I always laugh about American men wearing suspenders, which in England are used to hold up women’s’ stockings. We call the things men wear over their shoulders to stop their trousers from falling down, braces. 🤣 Hubby and I have also lost about 10 pounds each. I would have preferred him to lose 20 and me nothing. 😅

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango May 13, 2020 / 4:06 pm

      My wife would prefer just the opposite. In America we call the things that hold up women’s stockings garters or garter belts.

      Liked by 1 person

      • anotherday2paradise May 13, 2020 / 4:14 pm

        We had garters in England to hold up our socks. It was just a piece of elastic with a knot tied in it. 🙂 The fancy ones were the lace ones thrown by brides at their weddings.


  8. anotherday2paradise May 13, 2020 / 3:11 pm

    That guy who won’t wear a face mask is stupid and anyway, how does he know God doesn’t wear one? Has he seen him wandering around without one?🥺

    Liked by 4 people

  9. annieasksyou May 13, 2020 / 3:35 pm

    Two separate issues: my husband and I are both losing weight that we don’t want to. We think it’s because when we ate out more, we stuffed ourselves. So I now make us protein shakes with milk (I use almond milk because reg milk doesn’t agree), protein powder, banana, and peanut butter. If you like those ingredients, the shakes aren’t bad.

    Second: re the man who said his Creator wouldn’t want him to cover his face: the writer Tom Nichols said: “My creator created my whole body, but I still wear pants!”

    Liked by 4 people

  10. Suze May 13, 2020 / 5:34 pm

    I wonder why the republican party is so intent on saying “judeo-christian principals” as T. Jefferson (number 3 in the lineup of potus with a brain) said emphatically that it was NOT. Even wrote the constitution so people would KNOW without doubt there is a separation of church and state. Just one of those oddities that amazes me…………..

    Liked by 2 people

    • Fandango May 13, 2020 / 6:01 pm

      And they’re always calling America a “Christian nation,” which it’s not. 😡

      Liked by 2 people

  11. msjadeli May 13, 2020 / 7:51 pm

    Congrats on moving to suspenders. You could use the Nino approach, against Tom Nichols, and go pantsless. Nino’s constituents must burn with shame that they elected this doofus.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. lifelessons May 13, 2020 / 8:52 pm

    Actually losing weight during SIP is not going to win friends and influence people!! Shame on you.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Lolsy's Library May 14, 2020 / 12:55 am

    I am pretty sure that God still knows who it is under the mask -.- If God didn’t want us to wear masks, why would he create them. God damn, I hate selfish “Religious” people.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. dumbestblogger May 18, 2020 / 6:21 pm

    Usually when my pants don’t fit it’s because my weight is headed in the other direction.


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