Day: December 20, 2017

Presidential Fellatio

Fandango11 Comments

After both the House and the Senate passed the GOP tax bill and sent it to Trump to sign, Republican congressional leaders we’re falling all over themselves to heap praise upon Caesar Trump.

Mitch McConnell, the Republican Senate Majority Leader leader, said the bill’s passage caps a year of “extraordinary accomplishments” by Trump.

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan praised Trump’s “exquisite presidential leadership.”

Orrin Hatch, chairman of the Senate Finance Committee, called Trump “one heck of a leader.” He said, “Mr. President, I have to say, you’re living up to everything I thought you would.” He added, “this is one of the great privileges of my life, to stand here on the White House lawn with the president of the United States, who I love and appreciate so much.” He also pledged to help Trump “make this the greatest presidency that we’ve seen, not only in generations, but maybe ever.”

I am throwing up in my mouth.

Tennessee Republican congresswoman Diane Black, chair of the House Budget Committee, said, “Thank you, President Trump, for allowing us to have you as our president, and to make America great again.”

Kevin Brady, chairman of the House tax-writing committee, said this “historic day” could not have been achieved without Trump’s leadership.

Trump, of course, basked in the adulation showered upon him by congressional Republican leaders and his own vice president, who said to Trump, “Thank you for seeing, through the course of this year, an agenda that truly is restoring this country.”

Pence went on to say that he was “deeply humbled, as your vice president, to be able to be here,” and he thanked Trump “for speaking on behalf of and fighting every day for the forgotten men and women of America.”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

I have never seen such groveling and ass kissing in my entire life. It makes me want to barf. Seriously, just reading what I’ve written here makes me physically ill.

I think I’ll watch Sean Hannity on Fox News tonight. No doubt we’ll see Hannity giving Trump an on-air blow job.

100WW — Holiday Cheer

Fandango11 Comments

“Those drinks look absolutely delicious,” Ralph said. “You went all out this year.”

“Yes, I wanted this year’s Christmas gathering to be special,” Linda said. “After all, It’s official now.” She held up her left hand, showing him her engagement ring.

Ralph sighed. “I’m so happy for you and Michael,” he said. “You deserve one another.”

Linda excused herself. “I’ll be right back.” When she returned with Michael, she said, “Michael, this is Ralph, my ex.”

“A toast,” Ralph said, handing Michael a drink.

Michael took a sip, turned blue, fell to the floor, and died.

“Happy Holidays,” Ralph said.

(100 words)

Written for today’s 100 Word Wednesday prompt from Bikurgurl. Photo by Brooke Lark.

Something You Want to Tell Me?

Fandango5 Comments

Dave was fixing a quick dinner for his kids, since his wife, Maggie, had worked late again and had just gotten home a few minutes earlier. That’s when Dave’s cellphone rang. “Honey, can you answer that?” he asked his daughter, Darla, who dutifully got up, ran into the living room, and answered the phone.

As Dave was setting out the plates on the kitchen table, Darla handed him the phone. “It’s your lawyer calling,” she said.

“My lawyer? I don’t have a lawyer.” Dave put the phone next to his ear, “Hello, this is Dave. Who’s calling?”

“Hello Dave,” the voice said. “I’m sorry to bother you at dinnertime, but I’m Clarisa Ridgeman, attorney at law. I’m calling you because your wife has engaged an attorney, Daniel Dorfman, to represent her in your divorce. He contacted me and suggested that I call you, since you should engage your own lawyer.”

“What?” said Dave in shock. “You want to be my lawyer in a divorce case? My wife never mentioned wanting a divorce.”

“Yes,” said the lawyer. “And that’s why I’m calling you. You need to be represented.”

Just then Maggie came walking into the kitchen. “Hi hon, sorry I was late again,” she said.

“Hold on a second,” Dave said into his cellphone. “Maggie, is there something you want to tell me?”

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “calling.”

One-Liner Wednesday — Good Judgement

Fandango7 Comments

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“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”

Will Rogers

I like to believe that I generally exercise good judgement. And I also believe that good judgement is not something you’re born with. It surfaces only after a lot of trial and error, sometimes after years of exercising bad judgement.

As to what Will Rogers said, I tend to agree,  with one caveat. The difference between good judgement and bad judgement often depends on who is doing the judging.

For example, did the Republicans yesterday exercise good judgement in passing the new tax bill?

Written for today’s One-Liner Wednesday prompt from Linda G. Hill. Image credit: John Hain on Pixabay.com