Setting Up for His Next Super-Spreader

“Did you get the measurements of the arena yet?” Steve asked his intern? “I need to ascertain the optimal speaker size for the sound system. I’ll need to achieve the best sound for the size of the room. There’s a delicate balance when it comes to speaker size and fidelity and I want to make sure we are able to amplify his words to the greatest extent possible yet still make sure the people attending the rally will hear what he says clearly.”

“I don’t know why you’re whipping yourself into such a frenzy,” the intern said. “Most of what he says is bullshit, anyway, and now that he’s a lame duck, all he does is rehash the same leftovers he’s been spewing for the past five years.”

“Just do your job, Jack, if you want to keep it,” Steve demanded.

“Fine,” Jack said, handing Steve a piece of papers with the arena’s measurements on them. “I don’t know why you’re worried about fidelity. The only fidelity this guy has ever shown is toward himself. Just ask his ex-wives and all the people he’s fired by tweet. The best thing you can do is to just shut off the microphones.”

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (ascertain), The Daily Spur (room), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (fidelity), Your Daily Word Prompt (amplify), Word of the Day (frenzy), and MMA Storytime (leftovers).

Fibbing Friday — Thanksgiving Edition

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in your responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.

1 – Why is it traditional to eat turkey for Thanksgiving dinner? (In the US, at least.)

Because when the new settlers tried to talk with the natives in the new world, they didn’t understand each other’s language and what the natives were saying sounded to the settlers like a bunch of gobbledygook. So the natives brought turkeys, who gobble, to help translate for them. Unfortunately, the settlers cooked and ate the turkeys before they learned that they hadn’t actually landed in India and that the natives where they had landed were not actually Indians.

2 – What is “Festivus”?

It’s the holiday for the rest of us.

3 – Why does Hanukkah (or Chanukah, if you prefer) last for eight days?

Because it was only supposed to last for one day, but they got a great deal on Amazon on Black Friday for an additional seven days for the price of one.

4 – Why does Kwanzaa last seven days?

Because the Kwanzaa folks figured that they could get done in only seven days what it took the Jews eight days to get done. So there, Jews.

5 – According to the song, there are twelve days of Christmas, so why do most people only observe Christmas for one day?

One day, seven days, eight days, twelve days? Who cares? It’s all just bullshit, anyway. (No offense to Jews, Christians, and African Americans.)

6 – Why does Canada have Thanksgiving in October?

Because it’s too freakin’ cold in Canada in late November to have Thanksgiving that late.

7 – What is Childermas?

It’s a special mass in the Catholic Church that is for children only. It’s specifically dedicated to pedophile priests. (Oh no, Fandango. You didn’t really say that, did you?)

8 – In the US, why is the Friday after Thanksgiving known as “Black Friday”?

Because people, at least in the pre-COVID days, used to practically kill one another in retail stores in order to get there first so as not to miss out on that $99 flat screen hi-def color TV. Those who didn’t get there in time were left out in the dark. Hence, “Black Friday.”

9 – What is “Boxing Day”?

It’s the day that 54 year old Mike Tyson and 51 year old Roy Jones, Jr. will meet up in the boxing ring for an exhibition boxing match. Why are these two old boxers doing this? “Show me the money.”

10 – What is “Saturnalia”?

It’s the day that Saturnites, or those beings who live on the planet Saturn, hold their annual Feast of Thanks. It’s actually a very rare occurrence, since one year on Saturn lasts for 29 Earth years, so most Saturnites, whose average life span is only around 20 Earth years, are lucky if they can celebrate even one Saturnalia holiday.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — November 27

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 27th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted my on old blog on November 27, 2009. The good news is that ascendency of Sarah Palin, the subject of this post, never actually materialized and, except for a few times that she has resurfaced into the public light, she’s pretty much out of sight and out of mind.

She’s Back and She’s Going Rouge!

My very first post this past July on this blog was about Sarah Palin. She had just resigned in the middle of her term as the governor of Alaska. There was a lot of speculation about her sudden and unexpected resignation and about what she would do for her next act.

As much as I don’t admire Sarah Palin and her far right ideology, I admit today (as I did back in July) that she’s a savvy operator. I speculated in my musings about how Palin might spend her post-governor and pre-2012 presidential election time. I assumed that, having gotten a shot at the brass ring, she would surely make her own run at the presidency in 2012, this time without the encumbrance of some old geezer at the head of the Republican ticket.

Back in July, I suggested that Palin might bide her time until then by:

  • going on the speaking circuit,
  • becoming a nationally syndicated radio or TV talk show host,
  • becoming a Fox News TV commentator, or
  • doing all of the above.

I also predicted that, no matter what path she would choose to take, she’d rake in the big bucks. It appears that I was right about that. But I must admit that I failed to predict one way in which she would spend her then newly acquired free time. I didn’t think she would write a book, but that’s because I wasn’t sure if she knew how to read, much less to write.Yet author a book she did, though, and it’s a best seller. (And yes, in the image above, I altered the name of the book from “Going Rogue” to “Going Rouge” because, well, that’s the kind of Sarah Palin fan I am.)

Fans and fanatics are falling all over themselves to buy her book, drawn to it like flies are to shit, which is what the book is. But people these days are drawn to all kinds of oddities and curiosities, not to mention calamities and disasters.

Palin is now on a book tour, which, interestingly enough, puts her on the speaking circuit. She’s appearing on all kinds of syndicated TV and radio shows, from Oprah and Baba Walters to Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. And given her popularity with the Fox News crowd and the frequent (almost constant) stories about her on that network, she might as well be a commentator for Fox News.

Raking in the big bucks she most definitely is doing. So, I was essentially correct…even though I didn’t predict that she’d write a book. But that’s just a technicality.

I will admit that it galls me that she has parlayed the spotlight that John McCain and the Republican Party shined on her last year. I think she is a charismatic woman with an ideology that is, in my humble opinion, and to use a Palinism, “bass-ackwards.” And to me, that is a dangerous combination.

There is a lot of frustration from grass roots America today about the economy and politics. Palin’s contrived and highly polished image as one of the straight-talking common folks, one of the “real” Americans, will likely resonate with many disenfranchised “middle Americans.” And by “middle Americans,” I mean the white, god-fearing, gun-toting, beer-drinking, NASCAR race-watching, tea party-attending, town hall meeting-disrupting, abortion-hating, disenfranchised-feeling Americans.

Sadly, there are a lot of such people, many of whom will buy her book, go to see and hear her speak, and potentially vote for her for the highest office in the land in three years if the economy doesn’t recover in a meaningful, “down home” way for the Joe six-packs and hockey moms of the country.

The good news is that by 2012, I’ll be almost ready to retire and, should Sarah Palin somehow become the chief executive of the United States, retirement living with my wife in the south of France or the west coast of Portugal will most definitely beckon. You betcha! <wink, wink>

FOWC with Fandango — Fidelity

FOWCWelcome to November 27, 2020 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “fidelity.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.