Happy Thanksgiving

For those of you who live where Thanksgiving is celebrated today, I hope you have a great Thanksgiving dinner and gathering with friends and family.

Maybe this year it will be different than last year’s Thanksgiving, when Uncle Henry got drunk and became abusive after Aunt Mary kept hitting him with those thinly veiled digs about what a failure he is.

And maybe Grandpa won’t keep bringing up all of his nutty conspiracy theories that he heard on Fox News and will stop complaining about how the American culture is going down the tubes thanks to all of those “goddam woke libtards.” And perhaps this year Mom won’t be standing there all akimbo when Dad inevitably screws up carving the turkey that she slaved over for hours.

Yes, maybe at this year’s Thanksgiving get together, everyone will be on their best behavior and will be thankful for everything they have. Maybe then it will be a perfect, Norman Rockwell-like Thanksgiving.

Yeah, right! It will probably be more like this:

Written for these daily prompts: The Daily Spur (uncle), Your Daily Word prompt (veiled), Ragtag Daily Prompt (conspiracy/akimbo), Word of the Day Challenge (culture), My Vivid Blog (thankful), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (everything).

Share Your World — 11/22/2021

It’s the Monday before Thanksgiving (in the U.S.) and Melanie has another edition of Share Your World. Let’s get to it.

What are some red flags to watch out for in daily life?

For me, the biggest red flag is what is happening to my country and to the American democracy. In a way, I am happy to be an old fart because I probably won’t be around long enough to see the total collapse of democracy in the United States and the American society dissolving into chaos. But unless things change significantly, such a collapse is almost inevitable, in my opinion.

What obstacles would you include in the world’s most amazing obstacle course?

I would prefer to remove obstacles than to include them.

Who is the best movie or book villain in your opinion? (Book is included because some folks don’t watch movies.)

I think it has to be Hannibal Lecter from “Silence of the Lambs.”

What, in your opinion, is the most beautiful/handsome part of your face? (No dissing yourself please, we’re all beautiful/handsome!)

My eyes?

This Thursday, Americans celebrate Thanksgiving. What are some foods you enjoy for your festive celebration dinners?

I’m not a fan of traditional Thanksgiving fare, like turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, etc. This year we are having Thanksgiving at our son and daughter-in-law’s place, along with her family, and we agreed to go Italian. Seriously, who doesn’t like Italian?

One Minute Fiction — I Hate This Time of Year

We have a huge backyard with lots of big, old trees and at this time of year, our yard is covered with a thick layer of fallen leaves.

My mom wants me to rake up and bag all of the leaves this weekend because she’s having the whole extended family over for Thanksgiving on Thursday and insists that our yard has to look clean and neat for all of the cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Like anyone besides her really cares about the damn leaves. You know what I’m saying?

Of course it’s been raining most of this past week, which makes raking and bagging all those wet, heavy leaves even more of a pain in the ass than when they’re dry. But she’s not giving me a choice.

I hate this time of year.

Written for Cyranny’s One Minute Fiction prompt. Photo credit: Cyranny.

Meeting the Parents

We met in the classroom during that transitory first semester of our freshman year in college. She and I soon became best of friends and by the time our freshman year ended, our friendship at evolved into a romantic relationship.

She persuaded her parents to invite me home with her for the long Thanksgiving weekend of our sophomore year, and I was very nervous. She tried to reassure me that as long as I didn’t foam at the mouth upon meeting them, her parents would welcome me with open arms.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have been quite so overly effusive.

Written for these daily prompts: The Daily Spur (classroom), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (transitory), Ragtag Daily Prompt (friend), Word of the Day Challenge (relationship) , MMA Storytime (foam), and Your Daily Word Prompt (effusive).

Fibbing Friday — Thanksgiving Edition

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in your responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.

1 – Why is it traditional to eat turkey for Thanksgiving dinner? (In the US, at least.)

Because when the new settlers tried to talk with the natives in the new world, they didn’t understand each other’s language and what the natives were saying sounded to the settlers like a bunch of gobbledygook. So the natives brought turkeys, who gobble, to help translate for them. Unfortunately, the settlers cooked and ate the turkeys before they learned that they hadn’t actually landed in India and that the natives where they had landed were not actually Indians.

2 – What is “Festivus”?

It’s the holiday for the rest of us.

3 – Why does Hanukkah (or Chanukah, if you prefer) last for eight days?

Because it was only supposed to last for one day, but they got a great deal on Amazon on Black Friday for an additional seven days for the price of one.

4 – Why does Kwanzaa last seven days?

Because the Kwanzaa folks figured that they could get done in only seven days what it took the Jews eight days to get done. So there, Jews.

5 – According to the song, there are twelve days of Christmas, so why do most people only observe Christmas for one day?

One day, seven days, eight days, twelve days? Who cares? It’s all just bullshit, anyway. (No offense to Jews, Christians, and African Americans.)

6 – Why does Canada have Thanksgiving in October?

Because it’s too freakin’ cold in Canada in late November to have Thanksgiving that late.

7 – What is Childermas?

It’s a special mass in the Catholic Church that is for children only. It’s specifically dedicated to pedophile priests. (Oh no, Fandango. You didn’t really say that, did you?)

8 – In the US, why is the Friday after Thanksgiving known as “Black Friday”?

Because people, at least in the pre-COVID days, used to practically kill one another in retail stores in order to get there first so as not to miss out on that $99 flat screen hi-def color TV. Those who didn’t get there in time were left out in the dark. Hence, “Black Friday.”

9 – What is “Boxing Day”?

It’s the day that 54 year old Mike Tyson and 51 year old Roy Jones, Jr. will meet up in the boxing ring for an exhibition boxing match. Why are these two old boxers doing this? “Show me the money.”

10 – What is “Saturnalia”?

It’s the day that Saturnites, or those beings who live on the planet Saturn, hold their annual Feast of Thanks. It’s actually a very rare occurrence, since one year on Saturn lasts for 29 Earth years, so most Saturnites, whose average life span is only around 20 Earth years, are lucky if they can celebrate even one Saturnalia holiday.