The Rally

“So what plans do you have for the weekend?” Donna asked her roommate.

“I’m going to a Trump rally,” Tiffany said.

“You can’t be serious?” Why in the world would you go to one of his rallies? I find that rather perplexing.”

Tiffany laughed. “Oh, I know he’s full of shit, but I like the way he presents himself.”

“Oh my God, Tiffany, you didn’t vote for him, did you?”

“Of course not,” Tiffany said. “I don’t trust anything he says. He thinks he’s so cunning but he is such a buffoon who lacks guile and watching him make a total fool of himself brings me such joy.”

Written for these daily prompts: MMA Storytime (weekend), Word of the Day Challenge (perplex), Your Daily Word Prompt (present), The Daily Spur (trust), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (guile), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (joy).

Setting Up for His Next Super-Spreader

“Did you get the measurements of the arena yet?” Steve asked his intern? “I need to ascertain the optimal speaker size for the sound system. I’ll need to achieve the best sound for the size of the room. There’s a delicate balance when it comes to speaker size and fidelity and I want to make sure we are able to amplify his words to the greatest extent possible yet still make sure the people attending the rally will hear what he says clearly.”

“I don’t know why you’re whipping yourself into such a frenzy,” the intern said. “Most of what he says is bullshit, anyway, and now that he’s a lame duck, all he does is rehash the same leftovers he’s been spewing for the past five years.”

“Just do your job, Jack, if you want to keep it,” Steve demanded.

“Fine,” Jack said, handing Steve a piece of papers with the arena’s measurements on them. “I don’t know why you’re worried about fidelity. The only fidelity this guy has ever shown is toward himself. Just ask his ex-wives and all the people he’s fired by tweet. The best thing you can do is to just shut off the microphones.”

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (ascertain), The Daily Spur (room), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (fidelity), Your Daily Word Prompt (amplify), Word of the Day (frenzy), and MMA Storytime (leftovers).

Fandango’s Friday Flashback — September 25

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 25th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted on my old blog on September 25, 2010.

Putting the Inmates in Charge of the Asylum

Seriously people, what is wrong with you? Many of you actually believe that Obama is a Muslim and that he wasn’t really born in the United States. Not an insignificant number of you buy into the ludicrous notion that 9/11 was a government conspiracy. And as the mid-term elections approach, you seem inclined to propel a bunch of nutcases into positions of power where they can potentially affect your destiny for years to come…assuming, of course, they don’t cause total Congressional gridlock, which is Senator Jim DeMint’s* ultimate goal.

Are you so disaffected that you want to give the keys to the asylum to the inmates? Because that’s exactly what you’re doing! Where is the sanity?Well, there’s one man who is taking steps to restore sanity to our political process. You may think of him as a comedian or funnyman, which he is, and not, therefore, take him seriously. But Jon Stewart is one smart guy and he speaks for those of us who have not yet lost our minds or our wits. He has scheduled his Rally to Restore Sanity in the shadow of the Washington Monument on the National Mall in Washington, DC at the end of October.Of course, Stewart’s faux nemesis on Comedy Central, Stephen Colbert, has planned his own rally, the March to Keep Fear Alive, at the same place and at the same time. Does it get any better than that?

I can’t remember the last time I attended a political rally — or a rally of any kind, for that matter. However, this mild-mannered, middle-income, average American is inspired to stop the insanity that is eating away at our society. My wife and I are seriously considering heading to DC to participate in the Rally to Restore Sanity (and/or the March to Keep Fear Alive) at the end of October.

We may even carry a very civil protest sign or two — after we’ve finished our pre-rally brunch, that is.

Postscript: my wife and I did go to the rally and it was truly awesome.*In December 2012, Jim DeMint, a founding member of the far right Senate Tea Party Caucus, suddenly announced that he was resigning from the Senate to become president of the conservative Heritage Foundation think tank. He was ousted as president of the Heritage Foundation in May 2017 due to “significant and worsening management issues” within the organization. Oh snap!

Peaceful Demonstration

“How long have we been stuck in this stinking hellhole?” Barry asked.

“I don’t know, I’ve lost track of time,” Gary answered. “Days? Weeks?”

“This is all your fault, you asshole,” Barry said. “I didn’t want to go to that goddam anti-Trump rally in the first place, but you were vehement. You said it was our civic duty. You were always such a goddam idealistic dreamer.”

“How was I to know that Trump and Barr would call out some sort of secret paramilitary force and have them round us all up, arrest us, and toss us in jail?” Gary asked.

“You should have known, dammit,” Barry said. “As soon as you saw that group of armed counter protesters waving their confederate flags and marching almost arm-in-arm those federal stormtroopers, you should have seen the handwriting on the wall.”

“Look, Barry, you may be willing to wave your constitutionally guaranteed rights as a citizen to peacefully demonstrate?” Gary said, “That’s your choice. So go ahead and call the damn guard and denounce me and the rest of us as being guilty of sedition. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to stop fighting to restore what was once our free and fair country. I’d rather being hanged for sedition than live another day in Trump’s America.

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (hole), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (vehement), The Daily Spur (dreamer), Word of the Day Challenge (wave), and Your Daily Word Prompt (sedition).

Work of Art

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA“Once you’ve completed you stencil, you’re ready to stretch it across the frame and clamp it in place,” Gregory said. “Make sure the stencil is stretched tight, nice and taut. Otherwise, you might get a random ink droplet on your final product, which would betray your efforts to create the perfect stencil.”

Dick looked down at the frame and felt that everything was ready. “What’s next?” he asked.

“You pour the ink onto the screen, and use a floodbar to push the ink through the holes in the mesh,” Gregory said. “Then you take the fill bar at the rear of the screen and, using a slight amount of downward force, pull the fill bar to the front of the screen. This fills the mesh openings with ink. At that point you take the rubber squeegee and move the mesh down to the surface and push the squeegee to the rear of the screen. As the squeegee moves toward the rear of the screen, the tension of the mesh pulls the mesh up away from the material, leaving the ink on the material’s surface. That’s the silkscreen process, my friend.”

“Cool,” Dick said. “Now what?”

“Well, you have to give the ink time to dry on the material for a moment or two,” Gregory said. “In the meantime, you can add different colors once the first color dries. Just follow the same process for each color.”

“No more colors. I’m done!” said Dick.

“Let me see,” Gregory said.

Dick carefully lifted the frame up and off the t-shirt, exposing his handiwork to Gregory. “So, what do you think? Do we have a deal or what?”dumptrumpT“I like it,” Gregory said, a smile on his face. “Can you deliver 30 more in time for the rally on Sunday?”

“Deal!” said Dick.

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (droplet), Let It Bleed Weekly Prompt (betray), Fandango’ One-Word Challenge (silkscreen), The Daily Spur (moment), And Word of the Day (deal). Sorry Sheryl, but I couldn’t figure out how to get exacerbate into this tale.