The Wedding Toast

E1B042AA-3F28-4DC1-A467-DA9E89DFB908.jpeg“Please, honey,” John’s wife said, “try not to be so verbose this time.”

“Hey, Elaine, was that a dig?” John said, a friendly grin on his face.

“No, sweetheart, just a suggestion to keep it short,” Elaine said. “You do have a tendency to go on an on, flapping your waddle when you make a long speech.”

“My waddle?”

“Yes, babe,” Elaine said. “Ever since you lost all that weight you’ve got a bunch of loose skin under your chin that flaps when you talk. It’s really distracting.”

“That was an unkind thing to say,” John said, feigning hurt.

Elaine walked up to John, grabbed his waddle and fondled it. “I love your waddle, John, I really do. You remind me of that sexy Mitch McConnell.” Then she kissed his lips. “All the other wives are green with envy that I have a hubby with such a magnificent chin waddle.”

John smiled and returned his wife’s kiss. “Thanks, I think,” he said.

“But that not withstanding,” Elaine said, “you really do need to transcend that tendency of yours to drone on and on when someone hands you a microphone. Remember, when asked to give a wedding toast to the bride and groom, to keep it crisp.”


Written for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (verbose),  Daily Addictions (dig), Word of the Day Challenge (waddle) The Daily Spur (green), Your Daily Word Prompt (transcend), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (crisp).