The first thing I do after I wake up in the morning is go to the bathroom to take a leak. Then I wash my face and brush my teeth.

Next, I go to the kitchen, pour myself a cup of coffee, greet my wife, who is always up before me, and read the daily newspaper.

Then I fix myself a bowl of cereal and eat it while I grab my iPhone, peruse my newsfeed, look at my blog stats, read posts in my WordPress Reader that came in overnight, and take a look at comments that other bloggers posted while I was sleeping.

After breakfast I go back to the bathroom for the three S’s — shit, shower, and shave. Although I do confess that I don’t shave every day. I have a beard and maybe every third day I run a razor over my neck below my chin to keep things neat and tidy.

Next, my wife and I will often go for a two to four mile walk, weather permitting. When we return from our walk, we’ll both have a second cup of coffee. Between then and lunchtime, she’ll catch up on the HGTV shows we recorded on our DVR the night before while I will typically read more posts in my WordPress Reader, respond to comments, and draft a few posts to publish sometime during the day.

Then my wife and I will have some lunch and maybe watch Deadline Washington with Nicolle Wallace on MSNBC, which airs from 1:00 to 3:00 our time.

After that and before dinner, my wife will either read a book or spend a few hours on Twitter, while I check my newsfeed on my iPhone and head back to WordPress.

Dinner comes next, followed by watching something on TV. Lately we’ve been binge-watching an Australian show on Netflix called “Offspring.” I highly recommend it.

We often take a break from whatever TV show we’re watching to catch Rachel Maddow on MSNBC, during which time I will indulge in half a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream ice cream. We may also watch the monologues from Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Seth Meyers from their late night shows from the prior night that we DVR’d.

Then we wash up and get ready for bed. My wife will watch some more HGTV shows and I’ll spend about an hour or so on WordPress, either in the Reader, reading and responding to comments, or writing and scheduling posts.

And that’s the last thing I do before my wife turns off the TV and commands me to turn off my iPhone.

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Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. This week Linda asked us to “start your post with the words, ‘first thing’ and go from there. Bonus points if you end your post with the last thing.”

I’m sorry if you found this post to be terribly boring, but my wife and I are senior citizens, I’m retired, and we live pretty boring lives from the first thing in the morning to the last thing at night. But I do have some really interesting, often weird, and occasionally wild dreams at night!