Another Outrageous Scam

93142ACA-9AAC-4651-A464-8DE31F54EAE6The coupon pictured above says, “Valid for one beverage per customer per visit only at participating locations. Limited to persons of African American heritage and/or identity at time of exchange.”

It’s a hoax

In the wake of the controversy at a Philadelphia Starbucks where the police were summoned to remove two black men who were waiting to meet a friend and didn’t purchase anything, a despicable scam has surfaced.

According to the Associated Press, social media accounts that have been identified as coming from white nationalist groups are promoting bogus coupons offering free drinks to people of color.

This scam is likely an attempt to stir more bad sentiments about the coffee chain, which apparently is not exactly a favorite of white nationalists.

This is fucking outrageous.

Scruples

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“The guy at the art show assured me it was authentic and worth much more than he was asking for it,” Dean said.

The art appraiser at the small shop continued to examine the painting closely, using a magnifying glass to study the painting’s details.

Dean was getting anxious. “Well, is it the real deal or not?”

The appraiser put down his magnifying glass, removed his bifocals, and looked up at Dean. “I’m afraid, young man, that you have been taken for a ride. I wouldn’t even call this a good forgery. I’d call it a clumsy copy.”

“Are you sure?” Dean asked, disappointment in his voice.

“Quite sure,” the appraiser assured Dean. “The brushwork has too many incorrect characteristics. The techniques used do not match those of the artist. And I’d even venture to say that the colors used in this painting were not available during the artist’s lifetime.”

“Shit,” Dean said. “I paid 250 bucks for that piece of crap.”

“Well, son,” the appraiser said. “The frame is worth that much. I’ll give you $300 for the frame to ease your pain just a little.”

“Thank you,” Dean said. “I’ll take it. You can have the frame, but can you take the painting out of it? I like it and will reframe it. My unsophisticated friends won’t know it’s a fake.”

“I wish I could,” the appraiser said, “but that would likely damage the frame.” Taking three hundred dollar bills out of his cash drawer, the appraiser waved the money in front of Dean. “Take it or leave it, son.”

“Fine,” Dean said. He grabbed the money and left the small shop.

The appraiser picked up the painting and took it into the back room of the shop. He picked up his phone and punched in a number. “Hello,” a voice answered.

“Simon,” he said. “You won’t believe the incredible seventeenth century masterpiece I just scored for three hundred bucks.”


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “authentic.”

Friday Fictioneers — Disc Golf

img_1240Bob opened his car’s trunk and pulled out two Frisbees. “Are you ready!” he asked Andy.

“Ready for what?” Andy asked. “Did we drive all the way out here to toss Frisbees?”

“We are at the city’s only official disc golf course,” Bob said.

“What is disc golf?” Andy asked.

“It’s like regular golf, except with Frisbees rather than clubs and balls,” Bob explained. “Follow me,” he said.

They walked to a pole with chains hanging from a ring on top. “This contraption is the hole. The object is to get the disc into this basket with the fewest tosses.”

(100 words)


Written for this week’s Friday Fictioneers prompt from Rachel Wisoff-Fields. Photo credit: Douglas M. MacIlroy.

R is for Retirement

img_1224About two or three years before I retired, my wife and I were on vacation in Moab, Utah and we met an older couple at a coffee shop. We started talking to the couple, who was also on vacation.

Shortly into the conversation, the guy asked me what I did for a living and I told him what my job was. But then I added that I was looking forward to retiring in a few years.

“You know,” he said, “The average life expectancy for males after retirement is only eighteen months.”

This guy had to be in his mid-seventies. “Aren’t you retired?” I asked.

“Me?” he said. “No way. My wife and I are here on vacation, like the two of you, but I still work full-time back home as an insurance underwriter, so I know these things. Eighteen months,” he reiterated.

I retired at the end of 2016. That means that at the end of this June, just over two months from now, I will have been retired for eighteen months. And now I’m thinking back to what that guy said to me at that coffee shop in Moab.

So if I suddenly stop posting after June, you’ll know that I am an average male who survived for just eighteen months after I retired.

MLMM Tale Weaver — Kissing Cousins

img_1244My cousin Shelly and I were very close back in the day. And by back in the day, I mean the late 1950s. She was 15 going on 16 and I had just turned 14. Her father was my mother’s brother and our families lived within about ten miles of one another.

My father and mother would often “double date” on Saturday nights with Shelly’s father and mother. And I’d typically spend those Saturday evenings at Shelly’s place. As my older cousin by almost two years, she served as my babysitter and companion on those nights.

One fateful Saturday night, she asked me if I’d ever heard of something called French kissing. Now bear in mind that this was the late 1950s. There was no internet full of porn sites and most kids our age were pretty naive when it came to anything having to do with love and sex. Well, I was, anyway.

When I told her I hadn’t heard of French kissing, Shelly proceeded to explain to me what it was. Frankly, the notion of sticking one’s tongue into someone else’s mouth sounded kind of disgusting to me. And then Shelly shocked me by asking me if I wanted to try French kissing with her.

Until that moment I had never regarded my cousin as a sexual being. She was just my cousin, who just happened to be a girl. But when she asked me to practice French kissing with her, I saw her for the first time as a female rather than merely as my cousin. And I liked what I saw.

She was about an inch taller than me, quite pretty, with large, blue-green eyes and sandy blonde hair. I also noticed that she had fairly well-developed boobs, something I had somehow failed to take notice of previously. So, with a mix of reluctance and excitement, I agreed to the French kiss.

“Keep your mouth a little bit open when we kiss,” she told me. I did as I was told. To be honest, when she first stuck her tongue inside my mouth, I had to suppress a strong gag reflex. But her lips were soft and she smelled really nice. And once I got used to her tongue tarting around the inside of my mouth, it was actually quite pleasant.

After about 45 seconds she removed her tongue and lips from mine. “Now you put your tongue in my mouth,” she said. Once again, I followed her instructions.

Long story short, cousin Shelly and I grew very close over the next year until her father took a job in another city and they moved away.

We are both married now, have our own kids, and even a few grandkids. And while we don’t cross paths that often these days, we never talk about what happened back in the late 1950s when we discovered French kissing.


Written for this week’s Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Tale Weaver prompt. We’re supposed to reflect on the time we received our first kiss.

For the record, this is a work of fiction. I never actually had a cousin Shelly with whom I had an incestuous relationship when I was 14 years old.