Swiped Right

8faae92c-696d-45ec-a856-946070bb6707“My dream,” Allison said, “has always been to live in a beautiful Italian estate with marble floors, thick plaster walls, stained glass windows, and with stunning baroque ceiling frescoes derivative of Michelangelo’s at the Sistine Chapel.”

“I see,” Justin responded. He was sitting across from her at a Starbucks, where they had agreed to meet. He tried to conceal his eye-roll from his date.

“What about you, Justin?” Allison asked. “If you could live anywhere, what kind of place would you choose?”

“My tastes are, I believe, a little more modest than yours apparently are,” Justin said. “I would prefer a rustic log cabin in the mountains, one next to an idyllic babbling brook. It would have a large great room with an enormous stone fireplace, in front of which would be a real bear-skin rug. I would be the only resident on that part of the mountain.”

Allison looked at Justin with total disbelief. “Have I fallen into madness or something?” she said. “Based upon your profile on the dating site, we’re supposed to be totally compatible. But a log cabin on a mountain? Seriously?”

In your profile, Allison,” Justin said, “you said you were ‘down to earth.’ What you described as your dream abode is anything but down to earth. I’m now convince that I should have swiped left.” Justin stood up and walked out of the Starbucks shaking his head.

Written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (dream), Ragtag Daily Prompt (marble), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (plaster), Your Daily Word Prompt (derivative), Daily Addictions (resident), and Michael’s Writing Prompts (into madness).

Take a Hike

209A5B54-4223-4D8E-B9A9-ECFB14DC4B5B“So here’s what I’m thinking,” Jason said. “Let’s plan a hike along the Appalachian Trail. Imagine the camaraderie we’d experience if we spent two weeks hiking and camping out in the wilderness.”

“How did you come up with this little bit of brilliance?” Stan asked.

“Oh come on, Stan,” Bill said. “Not only will it be invigorating as we commune with nature, we’ll be able to learn more about the Appalachian culture.”

“The Appalachian culture?” Mark said. “Seriously, dude. All I can picture is that movie ‘Deliverance,’ with Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty.”

“Well count me out,” said Stan. “No way I want to spend two weeks sleeping on the hard ground, swatting giant mosquitoes, fending off rattlesnakes, and dealing with hillbillies when I can stay home in my nice, air conditioned apartment, sleeping in my own bed, and with a Starbucks on every corner.”

“You are such a wuss, Stan,” Jason said.

“Cut him some slack,” Mark said. “It’s not like doing this is mandatory.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Bill said. “So, really, there are no Starbucks along the Appalachian Trail? That could be a dealbreaker for me, guys.”

“Hmm,” Jason said. “Okay, guys, how about two weeks lounging on the white sand beaches of Bermuda?”

Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (trail), Word of the Day Challenge (camaraderie), Ragtag Daily Promot (brilliance), Scotts Daily Prompt (cultural), and Your Daily Word Prompt (mandatory).

Another Outrageous Scam

93142ACA-9AAC-4651-A464-8DE31F54EAE6The coupon pictured above says, “Valid for one beverage per customer per visit only at participating locations. Limited to persons of African American heritage and/or identity at time of exchange.”

It’s a hoax

In the wake of the controversy at a Philadelphia Starbucks where the police were summoned to remove two black men who were waiting to meet a friend and didn’t purchase anything, a despicable scam has surfaced.

According to the Associated Press, social media accounts that have been identified as coming from white nationalist groups are promoting bogus coupons offering free drinks to people of color.

This scam is likely an attempt to stir more bad sentiments about the coffee chain, which apparently is not exactly a favorite of white nationalists.

This is fucking outrageous.

#JusJoJan — Coffee Date

CB7096EC-3B91-4397-8E8D-70F5CA77536E“Okay,” he said with a sense of desperation, “How about we just meet for coffee tomorrow morning?”

Elizabeth sighed. This guy on the phone said that he’d seen her at a friend’s party a few weeks back and had persuaded the friend to give him her phone number. For the past half hour he’d been trying to get her to agree to go on a date with him. But she was totally averse to blind dates and had been spending the last fifteen minutes unsuccessfully trying to get off the phone.

But still he persisted and she finally caved. “Okay, fine. I’ll meet you at the Starbucks at the corner of 9th and Nelson at 8:00. But just so you know,” she warned, “I have to be at work by 8:30, so I won’t be able to stay very long.”

“No worries,” he said. “See you in the morning, Elizabeth. Bye.”

“Finally,” she said aloud after hanging up the phone.

She arrived deliberately late at the Starbucks the next morning at around ten past eight. She looked around at the tables to see if anyone made eye contact. When no one took any notice her, she was relieved, but just a bit disappointed.

She started to head out of the Starbucks, but as she was approaching the door to leave, a man walked in, flashed a big smile, and reached out his hand to take hers. “Elizabeth,” he said, shaking her hand, “I’m so sorry I’m late. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”

Elizabeth blushed, looked at her watch, which read 8:15, and said, “No, it’s fine.”

“Do you still have time to have a cup of coffee?” He asked. She nodded. She wondered how she had not noticed him at the party. He was gorgeous. Like movie star gorgeous.

He pointed to a small table. “Grab that table,” he said. “How do you take your coffee?” he asked.

“A touch of milk and one Splenda,” she said. He went to order the coffees and she sat down at the table, picked up her cell phone, and called one of her work associates. “Janet,” she said, “start the meeting without me. I’m going to be coming in a little late today. Maybe two to three hours late, actually.”

Written for today’s Just Jot It January prompt from Linda G. Hill. Today’s word is “coffee,” suggested by Barbara over at Teleportineweena.

SoCS — Pumpkin Spice


When I saw that Linda G. Hill chose the word “season” as this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, I decided to write not about one — or all four — of the seasons of the year, but to write about a marketing phenomenon known as pumpkin spice season.

Apparently pumpkin spice season this year unofficially commenced on September 5th when Starbucks rolled out its beloved pumpkin spice latte, also referred to as “PSL.”

But pumpkin spice flavored items are no longer limited to lattes. There’s pumpkin spice chewing gum, pumpkin spice pretzels, pumpkin spice Cheerios, pumpkin spice Pringles, pumpkin spice ice cream. Some pizzerias are offering pumpkin spice pizzas! Yuck!

I read an article that even pumpkin spice marijuana is a thing. I don’t know if it tastes like pumpkin spice when you smoke it or if it just gives you cravings to eat or drink anything that has pumpkin spice flavoring.

But did you know that pumpkin spice has no pumpkin in it at all? Most recipes for pumpkin spice include cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, ginger, and vanilla combined in such a way as to mimic the taste of pumpkin pie, which I don’t particularly care for.

Anyway, for those of you who are fans of pumpkin spice, in all of its now many iterations, enjoy the season. For me, I’ll stick with black coffee and Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream ice cream from Ben & Jerry’s.