Rory Does It Again

5fb252a6-1409-4622-bf90-ca23cbab1d9bRory, aka A Guy Called Bloke, was nominated for the coveted Liebster Award and paid it forward by nominating my blog for the award, along with seven other bloggers. Of course, there’s some mistake because the Liebster Award focuses on blogs with fewer than 200 followers and mine has more than 1,600. And also, my blog is an award-free blog.

Nonetheless, when Rory asks, I answer. So here goes.

If vampires can’t see their reflections, why is their hair always so neat?

It’s in their blood. Or perhaps in the blood of their latest, well-groomed victim.29A28516-F30D-4ED8-BB19-9EE1C481E9AA.jpeg

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

No, they are just behaving inappropriately.

If they weren’t called grapes and you had the opportunity to rename them, what would you call them?

Pre-raisins.

If the grass wasn’t green what color would you make it?

Brown. That way you couldn’t tell the grass from the brown spots on my lawn.93b5ec9d-d312-430e-a334-3f6ef0dd1f79

Has your imaginary friend ever had an imaginary friend, or just you?

My imaginary friend left me for his imaginary friend. Talk about being jilted.

So, dance in the rain, wallow in the mud or naked angel in the snow?

What do you think a naked skier like me would say? I’d dance naked in a mud puddle in the rain.

Can you describe your blog to me without using the letters i and e?

A blog about ths, that, and th othr.

What are you afraid of becoming?

Irrelevant. Oh wait. Too late. Dammit.

Gold Bullets

9F391EED-A278-406C-AEC9-7A3911F02A8AMarvin was melting down all of the gold teeth, rings, and miscellaneous trinkets he had taken from the dead bodies. He was actually grateful for the human carnage of battle, even though he knew that he would end up in hell for what he was doing. But he didn’t really care, just as, he rationized, the mutilated dead bodies he had picked clean of their gold wouldn’t care.

Marvin carefully lifted the heavy cauldron from the fire and began pouring the molten fluid into small, oblong bullet casings. He had about a dozen casings done when a stranger entered his shed. “What are you doing?” The mysterious stranger asked.

Irritated at having been rudely interrupted by the stranger, Marvin responded, “I’m crafting gold bullets to use to kill the werewolves that have been terrorizing the countryside.”

“You idiot,” the stranger said. “Only silver bullets can kill werewolves. Gold bullets will not stop them.”

“Oh, said Marvin in an embarrassed tone. “Well maybe I can use these gold bullets against the vampires that have also been terrorizing the countryside.”

“No, gold bullets won’t work on vampires,” the stranger said. “You need large wooden stakes to the heart to kill vampires. Do you have any wooden stakes?”

“No,” Marvin said. “Why would I have any wooden stakes?”

“Excellent!” The stranger said, leaping on Marvin and biting his neck.


Written for the following one-word prompts: Your Daily Word Prompt (gold), Ragtag Daily Prompt (grateful), Scotts Daily Prompt (hell), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (fluid), and Word of the Day Challenge (oblong).