Three Flavorful Challenges

ben-and-jerryBen and Jerry were sitting in the crowded tasting room sampling their latest flavor experiment. “Ew!” Ben said. “Did you check the date before you used it?

Jerry looked at his partner. “Before I used what?” he asked.

“The vanilla flavoring,” Ben said.

“Of course I….” Before Jerry could finish, both men felt a significant rumbling. Everyone in the tasting room jumped up and ran out, leaving Ben and Jerry sitting by themselves in the otherwise empty room.

“Oh my God,” Jerry said.

“I know,” said Ben, “we’re having an earthquake!”

“Quick,” said Jerry, “I need my nitroglycerin tablets. I need to find my pillbox.”

“I think it’s in your jacket,” Ben said.

“Oh right,” said Jerry, taking his pill. “And the vanilla was fine, by the way.”

Written for these daily challenges: From Teresa, the Story Starter Challenge, where the sentence is “Did you check the date before you used it?” Also from Teresa, the Opposites Attract Challenge, where the opposite words are crowded and empty. And from Paula Light’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are earthquake, vanilla, and pillbox.



3TC — Life is Beautiful

78CAA603-830D-40B3-B54F-4752EC812E10It doesn’t matter if it’s nocturnal or diurnal

It doesn’t matter if it’s rain or shine

It doesn’t matter if you’re healthy or you’re sick

If it’s raining, put on your raincoat

If you’re throat is sore, take a lozenge

Because it’s really all about the mission

It’s really all about taking action

You need to pursue any opening

To live your one and only life

As something you should treasure

Because life is beautiful

And when your time has run out

It will be too late.

Written for Paula Light’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are lozenge, mission, and raincoat. And for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (diurnal), Word of the Day Challenge (action), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (opening), and Your Daily Word Prompt (treasure).

Tax Season Trauma

messy desk paperworkAvery looked at his watch and let out a banshee-like scream. In a panic, the nanny ran to Avery’s home office and flung open the door. “Are you okay, sir?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just that it’s tax season and, as a tax accountant, I feel like I’m buried under an avalanche of tax forms. I’ve got half a mind to take all these papers out to the backyard and dump them into the fire pit.”

The nanny smiled and jokingly said, “Please don’t, sir. Otherwise I’d have to report you to the authorities.”

“Maybe that would be a better option than having to complete all these goddam tax forms,” Avery said. “These people act like they’re nobility, but they’re nothing but a horde of brainless zombies who are too incompetent to file their own taxes.”

“But sir,” the nanny said, “helping people with their taxes is how you earn your living. If you didn’t do that, you wouldn’t be able to pay me to take care of your children.”

“That’s a good point, Charita,” Avery said. “You do take excellent care of my children.” Avery paused for a moment and then added, “And you take excellent care of me, too. Quick! Get in here!”

Written for Paula Light’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are report, nanny, and zombies. Also for Teresa’s Story Starter, where the line is “Quick! Get in here!” And for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (watch), Ragtag Daily Prompt (avalanche), Word of the Day Challenge (Fire), and Your Daily Word Prompt (nobility).

3TC/MLMM Tale Weaver — The Wall

B8B4E75B-C70C-499D-A442-5E32EB6DCA94The idea was to have a bipartisan brunch where both sides could have a civil, productive discussion about border security issues. Twelve senators and representatives, plus a handful of business executives, had been invited and the hope was that each side would demonstrate at least a little empathy for the arguments put forth by the other side.

But by the time the meeting had entered its second hour, the temperature in the room had risen, the volume of the voices had gotten louder, and passions were ignited.

The Republicans insisted that the only way to ensure border security was to build Trump’s wall. The Democrats called the wall Trump’s vanity project and nothing but an empty campaign promise.

Any hint of civility had broken down when Larry Ellison, the chairman of Oracle Corporation, and Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple Inc, simultaneously pushed back their chairs, stood up, and left the room together in disgust.

Once outside of the meeting room, Cooked looked over at Ellison and said, “What a bunch of imbeciles.”

Ellison shook his head in agreement and said to Cook, “We should take a broadsword to the bunch of them.”

Written for Paula Light’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are “oracle,” “brunch,” and “volume.” Also for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Tale Weaver prompt where the challenge is to write about a wall. And also for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (empathy), Ragtag Daily Prompt (temperature), Word of the Day Challenge (passion), and Your Daily Word Prompt (broadsword).

3TC — Behind the Beaded Curtain

A5EE5167-7169-4128-A7D4-C9FD47DE9CB0Jerry first noticed her when she almost magically emerged through a beaded curtain from a back room. She had long black hair, parted down the middle. She wore a beaded headband, a semitransparent, white peasant blouse, and hip hugger bell bottom jeans that appeared to be made out of deep blue velvet. New to San Francisco, Jerry was excited to see what he speculated to be his first genuine hippie girl.

He had moved to the City by the Bay to escape what he thought was his monotonous life up until then. And here he was at a party of real San Franciscans being held in a classic Victorian house in the Haight-Ashbury section of the city.

Summoning up all of his courage, he approached the girl her saw and said, “Hi, my name is Jerry and I just moved to the city a few weeks ago. I have to say, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

The girl stuck out her hand and said, “Thank you, Jerry. My name is Venus. Where are you from, Jerry. The south, right?”

Jerry blushed a little. “I guess my southern accent gives me away. I’m from South Carolina.” Rather than shaking her hand, he took it and kissed it. “Where chivalry is not dead.”

“You are a real southern gentleman, aren’t you?” Venus said, a warm smile gracing her face.”

“I am, indeed,” Jerry said, returning Venus’ smile. “But I have led a sheltered life back there and I decided I needed to sew some wild oats while I’m still young.”

Venus grabbed Jerry’s hand and led him through the beaded curtain back into the room from which she had earlier emerged. The room was cloudy with smoke and heavy with the scent of burning incense. “In that case, let me introduce you to my bong.”

Jerry got a worried look on his face. “I’ve never smoked pot before. Isn’t it bad for your health?” he asked.

“Do I look unhealthy to you?” Venus asked, taking a hit from the bong.

Written for Paula Light’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are velvet, cloud, and hippie. Also for these Daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (speculate), Word of the Day Challenge (monotonous), Your Daily Word Prompt (chivalry), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (health).

health chivalry monotonous speculate