Damn Slice of Pizza

727BD4D7-2DBE-49C2-9DF7-B21314C2C91CI was hungry, so I stopped by a pizza place near my office and bought a slice to tide me over until I could get home and fix myself a real dinner. I was in a rush, though, so I figured I’d eat the slice during my drive home from work.

Unfortunately, I dropped a piece of crust on my lap and when I went to pick it up, I momentarily lost control of the car, drove over the curb, and got a flat tire.

Written for today’s Three Things Challenge prompt from Di at Pensitivity101. The three things are “crust,” “curb/kerb,” and “flat.” Note that in the U.S., the word is “curb,” not “kerb.”

The New Year’s Resolution

CB0CE3FA-92E8-4334-8DB8-17D952BF46B5“You know you shouldn’t smoke, don’t you? It’s not good for you,” Martin said.

“Yeah, that’s easy for you to say,” Mary responded. “Last time I quit I got really chubby.”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a full-figured woman with curves in all the right places,” Martin said. “Besides, it makes you more buoyant in the hot tub.”

“Okay, mister, settle down.” Mary said, smiling at her husband.

“I’m serious though, Mary,” Martin said, “those cigarettes will kill you. You need to stop.”

“Sheesh, you’re always singing the same old tune, aren’t you?” Mary groused. “Fine, given your state of mind, I’ll consider making a new year’s resolution to give up the filthy habit. But I’ll need your support and guidance, do you understand?”

“I do,” Martin said, knowing that he was going to find that carton of cigarettes she kept hidden behind the canister of flour in the pantry and throw them out after she fell asleep tonight. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Written for the Three Things Challenge from Di, over at Pensitivity101. The three things are “smoke,” “asleep,” and “chubby.” Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (buoyant), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (settle), Daily Addictions (tune), The Daily Spur (state), and Word of the Day Challenge (guidance).

Counterculture Art

SurrealOdd,” Errol said, as he pondered the painting. “It’s a big zero. It makes me feel totally empty.”

“But you’re suppose to be this world famous art critic,” Marianne said. “Are you saying this piece does nothing for you?”

“Yes that’s what I’m saying — it does nothing for me but inflict a lot of artistic angst,” Errol said. “It lacks subtlety, it’s in your face, literally.”

“But aren’t you intrigued by its surreal nature?” Marianne asked. “Don’t you find it in any way bounteous in form or function?”

“I do enjoy your naïveté,” Errol said. “Please tell me what it is that you find intriguing about this painting.”

“To me, it is fascinating, in that it has an almost tropical feel to it,” Marianne said. “And, there is something mesmerizing ….”

Marianne’s observations about the painting were interrupted by a commotion at the entrance to the gallery. A nattily dressed black man walked up to Errol and Marianne. He stood nose-to-nose in front of Errol. “I am Victor and I understand you’re not fond of my work of art. I call it ‘EMO Kid.’ You are clearly too old and too out of touch to be an art critic if you have no appreciation for the new, American counterculture.”

Written for today’s Three Things Challenge from Di at Pensitivity101, where the three things are “odd,” “enjoy,” and “tell.” Also for today’s Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge. Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (ponder), Word of the Day Challenge (zero), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (inflict), Your Daily Word Prompt (bounteous), Daily Addictions (tropical), and The Daily Spur (entrance).

Get the Hook

DE4F29E6-8D9D-4177-9B14-6703D2520D9AEric got up on the stage, grabbed the mic, and waited for the music to start. Then he began singing his own rendition of The Who’s “Going Mobile.”

It didn’t take long for the karaoke night audience, drunk and rowdy as usual, to start booing Eric’s performance. “You suck, dude, sit the fuck down!” one guy yelled. Another shouted, “Don’t quit your day job, buddy!” A third voice called out, “Get the hook!”

Frustrated, Eric stopped singing, dropped the mic, and made his way back to the table where his twin brother, Ed was sitting and nursing a mojito.

“Can you believe how rude these people are?” Eric said to his brother as he sat down and picked up his half-finished piña colada. “What a bunch of ungrateful boozers.”

“Well, I hate to throw even more shade your way, bro,” Ed said, “but you really did suck.”

Eric looked at his brother, shook his head, and said, “Well, at least I’m not too chicken to even give it a try.” Then Eric stood up, started flapping his arms like a chicken, and called out, “Cluck, cluck, cluck.”

At which point everyone at the karaoke joint also stood up and gave Eric a standing ovation.”

Written for today’s Three Things Challenge from Di at Pensitivity101. The three things are “shade,” “brother,” and “mobile.”

Hold the Phone

3D1E9215-6114-4B7E-AF5A-3A9BC4CC6224“I’m trying to call your mother and I can’t get a dial tone on this damn thing,” Hal said. “Nothing, not a goddam thing. Now I gotta go and pay a visit to the phone company and get them to fix this worthless piece of shit wireless telephone.”

“Dad, that’s not the telephone,” Jimmy said. “That’s the TV remote control.”

Written for today’s Three Things Challenge from Di at Pensitivity101. The three things are nothing, tone, and visit.