The Crazy Cat Lady

“You’re being facetious, right?” Debbie said to me. “How can you not like cats? They’re so adorable and lovable, and whenever you come over here, you always make a fuss over my three cats, Princess, Chester, and Isadora.”

“I never said that I don’t like cats,” I said defensively. “It’s just that I’m not an ailurophile, like you. I don’t flaunt my feelings about cats in the same way you do. You’re a bit over-the-top, you know?”

“I get the distinct impression that there’s more to this discussion than meets the eye. So let’s just drop the bullshit and probe a bit deeper, shall we?” Debbie said.

“Fine, let’s do that, Debbie,” I said. “You have an unhealthy obsession with cats. Look at this place. All of the art on your walls are cat drawings, paintings, photos. You have porcelain cat figurines on every hard surface. You have cat wallpaper in your bedroom, a cat quilt on your bed, which is on top of cat sheets. Your throw pillows all have cute little cats on them. You have a designer litter box and you spend more on cat food than you do on your own food. Your favorite earrings are those stupid cats sitting on crescent moons. There’s cat fur all over everything in your apartment. And to be brutally honest, your apartment stinks of cat urine.”

Debbie started sobbing. “If that’s the way you feel, you can just get your coat and leave. I never want to see you again.

“Fine,” I said, “I’m out of here. I just hope you come to your senses, Debbie, before you end up being called the crazy, old cat lady in apartment 3B.”

Written for these daily prompts: JusJoJan (facetious), My Vivid Blog (ailurophile), Word of the Day Challenge (flaunt), Your Daily Word Prompt (distinct), The Daily Spur (drop), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (probe), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (crescent), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (coat). Earrings photo from Pinterest.

It’s been a week since we put our beloved cat down. I’m not an ailurophile, like Debbie in this story, but I so miss my cute and cuddly (most of the time) little rescue cat.

Knock Their Socks Off

“I’m at a loss,” Dean said. “I’ve got my final interview for that dream job in San Jose on Tuesday and there’s a goddam blizzard outside. The roads are impassable and the all of the airports in New England are closed. This is a huge quandary because the majority of the hiring team is scheduled to be there.”

“I’m sure they are prepared for something like this,” Dean’s wife Anna said. “Text the recruiter and see what the options are. I’d be surprised that a high tech company like that couldn’t accommodate a video interview if you tell them that you’re snowed in.”

About 45 minutes later, Dean came into the kitchen and hugged his wife. “You’re as sharp as a hawk’s eyes,” he said. “The recruiter said it would be fine to conduct the interview over Zoom under the circumstances and he applauded my honesty and ingenuity.”

“Yay,” screamed Anna. “I’m going to start consolidating our stuff that we’ll be taking with us when we move from New England to Northern California.”

“Wait,” Dean said. “Don’t jinx us, Anna. I’ve still got to make it through the interview.”

“I’m not worried, Dean,” Anna said. “You’ll knock their socks off.”

Written for these daily prompts: The Daily Spur (loss), My Vivid Blog (blizzard), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (quandary), Word of the Day Challenge (majority), JusJoJan (prepare), Ragtag Daily Prompt (hawk), E.M.’s Random word Prompt (honesty), and Your Daily Word Prompt (consolidation).

Animal Kingdom

Some mammals are blubbery, like the majestic whale.

Others are lanigerous, like Bo Peep’s sheep.

There are critters that I find infuriating, like the moles who poke holes all over my lawn. I’d like to drub them on the head with a rubber mallet, but to them it’s just a game of whack-a-mole.

Some animals, like rams, use their antlers or horns against each other in their battle for dominance.

And then there are creatures who are pure innocence, like the fawns who almost daily visit my backyard with their families. As adorable as they are, I’d like to take my belt to them to scare them away because they are destroying my plants. But my wife asks for my understanding, insisting these delicate animals have the right to survive.

And for no other reason than to fit it into this post, I believe today’s prompt words are the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Written for these daily prompts: E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (blubbery), Ragtag Daily Prompt (lanigerous), My Vivid Blog (infuriating), Your Daily Word Prompt (drub), The Daily Spur (battle), Word of the Day Challenge (innocence), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (belt), JusJoJan (understanding), and Scott’s Daily Prompt (sliced bread).

My Father’s Journals

After my mother had passed, my task was to inventory everything in her house and decide what to sell, what to donate, and what to trash.

I went down to the basement and spotted an old trunk that piqued my interest. I opened it up and found that it was full of old journals that my father, who died when I was very young, kept. My mother told me about them, but I didn’t know she had kept them all in a trunk in the basement.

I opened the trunk and was hit with a musty smell, but I saw a bunch of journals and picked out one with the words “January – May 1972” written on them. I opened the book to the journal entry dated January 25, 1972. Here’s what I read.

“Today is the fifth anniversary of the death of Kenny, my best friend and comrade in arms. His life was stolen from him on this day in that quagmire they called the Vietnam War. I’ll never forget that day. It stood out, even though there was otherwise little variation from one day to the next for us grunts.

“Our platoon was caught in a Viet Cong ambush. We dug in, but shortly after the firefight began, Kenny, who was right next to me, was shot in the chest. He died instantly and there was nothing I could do to save him. I was devastated by the loss of my best friend.

“I was hit in the arm, but somehow, I managed to get out of there alive. My tour was almost up, so because of my wound, I was sent home. Shortly after returning home to my wife and young son, Kenny’s body made it back to the states.

“My wife and I, along with Linda, Kenny’s widow, attended his military funeral. I tried to be stoic for both my wife and Linda, but as soon as the chaplain said “In honor of the dearly departed husband, father, and friend, Kenneth Lumsden, we are gathered here together…” I lost it. I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer, and I cried for the loss of my best friend, Kenny, and for all of us who will never see him again.”

I was very moved by what I had read. With a lump in my throat, I put down my father’s journal, a man I hardly knew, and realized what a fine man he was and hoped that I could grow to be the man he was. I left the musty basement, went upstairs and outside to get some fresh air. Despite my melancholy mood, when I saw the grackles swarming around my mother’s beloved bird feeders, which gave her so much pleasure in life, I smiled at the thought of her finally being reunited in heaven with her husband. That thought filled my heart with joy and peace.

Written for these daily prompts: JusJoJan (journal), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (anniversary), Your Daily Word Prompt (quagmire), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (variation), My Vivid Blog (stolen), The Daily Spur (chest), Ragtag Daily Prompt (save), Scott’s Daily Prompt (dearly departed), and Word of the Day Challenge (grackle).

Going By the Book

“I feel totally humiliated,” Ellen said. “Richard said last night that I lack imagination. What an awful thing for him to have said. You know, there ought to be a handbook that explains the best techniques.”

“There is,” Arlene said. “It’s even illustrated.”

“Really?” Ellen said. “With sketches? Unbelievable. How did I not know about this?”

“I don’t know,” Arlene said. “It’s not as if it’s a well kept secret. I’m sure we can find one at the bookstore. We can head over and get one whenever you’re ready.”

Ready, set, go,” Ellen enthusiastically said.

About twenty minutes later, the two young women arrived at the bookstore and Arlene went up to the guy behind the counter and whispered something in his ear. He looked at Arlene and at the other girl she was with. He got a knowing smile on his face and then pointed to a corner of the bookstore.

The two women headed where the guy pointed. When they got there, Arlene started looking at the books on the shelf. Suddenly she yelled, “Cha-ching, here’s what I’m looking for,” and pulled out a large, heavy book. She handed it to Ellen and said, “This should spark your imagination. I’m sure Richard will be very pleased.

Ellen took the book from Arlene and started leafing through it. “Oh my gawd,” she exclaimed. “This is a feast for the eyes! So erotically ethereal. I have to buy this. Richard is not going to know what hit him!”

Both girls started giggling.

Written for these daily prompts: My Vivid Blog (humiliated), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (handbook), Word of the Day Challenge (sketches), JusJoJan (unbelievable), Scott’s Daily Prompt (ready, set, go), Ragtag Daily Prompt (cha-ching), the Daily Spur (feast), and E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (ethereal).