Bought the Farm

310b6e79-a568-4b68-87e5-2285a810b3b4.jpeg“Momma, why are we here in church today?” Ruth asked. “It’s not Sunday.”

“I know, sweetie,” Donna said, pulling a tissue out of her purse. “Honey, can you please take that bubblegum out of your mouth and put it in this tissue? You shouldn’t chew gum in church.”

“But why are we here in the middle of the week?” Ruth asked again.

“Because your Uncle Benny bought the farm, sweetie,” Donna said.

“Uncle Benny bought a farm,” Ruth squealed. “Can we go?”

“Shh,” Donna said, “we’re in church. ‘Bought the farm’ is an expression, sweetie. It means Uncle Benny died.”

Disappointed, Ruth looked at her mother. “Why didn’t you just say that he died?”

“I shouldn’t have used that idiom, Ruth,” her mother said. “I think it was originally an English expression that means died, but it was irreverent of me to use it in church.”

“So how did Uncle Benny die?” Ruth asked.

“Well, Aunt Mabel said he lost his footing while he was off doing some mountain climbing,” Donna said. “But Uncle Benny was a lush and a liar and it wouldn’t surprise me if he fell off of a bar stool at the local pub.”

Ruth started to giggle uncontrollably until she saw the dirty look the pastor was giving her.

“Let us kneel and pay to God Almighty,” the pastor said in a booming voice, “and ask to be forgiven for our sins and trespasses as we remember with fondness our dearly departed friend, Ben Flannigan, who was the victim of a freak accident.”

Donna grabbed Ruth’s hand as each tried hard to not crack up laughing.

Written for today’s Three Things Challenge from Paula Light, where the three things are “liar,” “bubblegum,” and “mountain.” Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (farm), Your Daily Word Prompt (original), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (kneel), and Word of the Day Challenge (almighty).

Trump’s Bold New Ideas

35CD2780-EB3C-4A1A-8A91-258A19CBAA33Just kidding.

At his official re-election launch in Orlando the other night, Donald Trump rolled out his greatest MAGA hits.

So if you think Trump is going to do anything new or different in his second term, you have another think coming. Bold new ideas from Donald Trump? Not gonna happen. If he wins in 2020, all you’ll get is a four year rerun.

50 Word Thursday — The Totem

FDBFD6FF-AE36-4593-939E-676264B8C64F“We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows,” the barefoot man said aloud to the large, carved, wooden totem.

The security guard approached him. “Sir, you’re going to have to leave.”

(50 words)

Written for the 50 Word Thursday prompt brought to us this week by Kristian, at Tales from the mind of Kristian. The idea is to write a story between 50 and 250 words, in 50 word increments, using the photo above and/or the line of text provided below. When you’ve written your post, tag it 50WordThurs, and link back to Kristian’s post so that everyone can find it.

The line of text for this week’s prompt is “We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows.” From E.M Forster, A Room with a View.

In Other Words — Annoyed

8BAE4783-F14F-48BB-8897-F2DC7F00CCFDAm I annoyed?

You have a lot of nerve asking me if I’m annoyed.

In fact, I’m annoyed that you would even ask me such an annoying question.

I’m so annoyed at you for asking me if I’m annoyed at you that I hope you’re now annoyed at me.

Actually, I really couldn’t care less if you’re annoyed at me.

In other wordsWritten for the In Other Words prompt from Patricia’s Place. The challenge this week is to write a story or poem of five lines or fewer using the picture above and/or the word “annoyed.” Photo credit: Manfred Richter at Pixabay.

FOWC with Fandango — Kneel

FOWCWelcome to June 20, 2019 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “kneel.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

The issue with pingbacks not showing up seems to have been resolved, but you might check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.