In Other Words — The Lizard

C6376C7C-F4AC-42A0-B0A7-DE507B4873E0“I spy with my little eye something green,” Jenny said.

Lizzy looked around the backyard and said, “Jenny, everything in the yard is green — the grass, the bushes, the plants, the trees — all green.”

“I’ll give you another hint,” Jenny said, “it’s alive.”

“Everything is alive, Jenny — the grass, the bushes, the plants, the trees — all alive.”

“Sheesh, Lizzy, you must be blind or something; it’s that green lizard on top of the wood privacy fence.”

In other wordsWritten for the In Other Words prompt from Patricia’s Place. The challenge this week is to write a story or poem of five lines or fewer using the picture above and/or the word “spy.” Photo credit: alexis parra from Pixabay.

Spy Versus Spy

BB3EDA1A-E3E8-41EC-B00B-A3C8C361DA91I’ve been getting some strange comments showing up in my spam folder lately. Like this one:

“Alex9, this message is your next piece of data. Immediately message the agency at your earliest convenience. No further information until next transmission. This is broadcast #5771. Do not delete.”

Sometimes, like above, the comment is addressed to “Alex9.” Sometimes it’s addressed to another mysterious, secret agent-like name. But the message is always the same.

And the cryptic wording is weird. “Immediately message the agency.” What agency? Are we talking CIA? FBI? MI6? Mossad? KGB? What?

And then there’s “…at your earliest convenience.” So what is it — immediately or at my earliest convenience? “…next transmission” “…do not delete.” Seriously?

Well, listen, whoever you are, I’ve got news for you. I never sent in an application to any of those spy agencies. You showed a serious lack of judgment sending this message to me. I may be an uncle, but I’m not The Man From U.N.C.L.E. As much as I’d like to, it’s not my job to eradicate evil in the universe or to stop the polar ice caps from melting.

So I’m going to ignore your directive to message the agency and I’m going to delete this spam comment forthwith. Over and out.

Written for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (news), The Daily Spur (judgment), Your Daily Word Prompt (eradicate), Word of the Day Challenge (universe), Ragtag Daily Prompt (Emmy), and for Rachel Poli’s Time To Write (application).

The Spy Who Loved Oreos

2B846FD4-3F6A-4615-AA7A-BCA28EBC3CB2Max was a secret agent. Espionage was his game and he was very, very good at it. And he was very smart, too. One of the smartest and most ingenious spies in The Agency.

One of his ingenious inventions was a telephone that was hidden in heel and sole of his shoe. Of course, this was back in the 60s, well before the invention of today’s smartphones. Max’s shoe-phone was revolutionary, way ahead of its time.

Unfortunately for Max, he had an addiction to Oreo cookies. He would always have Oreos wherever he went and would constantly snack on them. And even though Max was so very, very good at being a spy, and even though he was one of the smartest and most ingenious agents in The Agency, his addiction to Oreo cookies was his downfall.

Poor Max gained so much weight from constantly snacking on Oreos that one day, while in heavy pursuit of a spy from the other side, he keeled over and died. In the end, it wasn’t an enemy agent who stopped him, it was his beloved Oreos.

It just goes to show you that sometimes the cream of the crop can be undone by the crème in the center.

Written for Paula Light’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are “espionage,” “snack,” and “shoe.”