It Sucks To Be Me

F290BAED-C9DF-4145-853B-AB189CE55376He put the paper down in front of me. He had a big smile on his face as he handed me a fancy pen. “Sign on the dotted line,” he said.

I remember that I could feel the cold sweat forming on my brow. I was young, I had a crappy job working at a warehouse, and I had never made a purchase this large. But my old junk heap of a car had broken down and I needed wheels to get to and from work each day and to, well, drive from place to place. You know what I mean, right?

So I signed on the dotted line and for the first time in my young life, I was in debt.

I have to admit that I was excited about my new purchase. It made me feel like a real adult to have an apartment, a job, and now a beautiful, shiny, brand-spanking new, two year old used car.

Little did I know that, on that fateful day that I signed on the dotted line, my life would start a downward spiral. A week after I bought the car, my girlfriend broke up with me. The breakup was a bad one. But what really hurt was that she was living in my apartment with me and was paying for half the rent and half of the utilities. When she moved out, my cost of living nearly doubled.

A few weeks after that, I hit a friggin’ moose on the way home from work. I was okay, but the moose, not so much. But my car was a mess and it had to be towed to a local auto body shop. The guy at the repair shop said a week and a half to two weeks. Jeez.

Then I got my hours cut at the warehouse from 40 to 25. Something about foreign competition and having to cut costs. I also lost my company health insurance plan because my status changed from full time to part time. Can you believe that shit?

So money got real tight, you know, what with having to pay the full rent and utility bills on my own, coupled with the reduced income from my job and the cost of the repairs to the car, and all.

I was forced to start prioritizing how to spend my money. First rent — a guy needs a roof over his head and a place to sleep, you know. Then the utilities — water, gas, and electric. And food — I mean you gotta eat, right? Well guess what. There was nothing left over to pay the finance company for the car. That’s just the way it was.

Anyway, about a month after I got the car out of the shop, the calls started coming in. Some debt collector started harassing me every day about my car payments. I tried to explain to him what had happened. You know, my girlfriend moving out on me, the goddam moose, the cutback of hours at the warehouse.

But the guy was heartless. I suppose that being heartless is a job requirement if you’re going to be a debt collector, you know what I’m saying?

Anyway, long story short, the car got repossessed. The warehouse I worked at closed down, and my landlord evicted me when I couldn’t keep up with the rent. Now I’m alone, homeless, living on the street, and panhandling for quarters. It sucks to be me.

All because I signed on the dotted fucking line.

Written for Paula Light’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are “breakup,” “warehouse,” and “moose.” Also for Prompt A (character challenge: Debt Collector), and Prompt B (sentence starter: “Sign on the dotted line”), from Teresa’s The Haunted Wordsmith Daily Prompt.

12 thoughts on “It Sucks To Be Me

  1. newepicauthor May 20, 2019 / 7:15 am

    You should have moved out of that apartment, then you would have been able to save on all the rent and utilities and you could have slept in your car and collected unemployment.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Marilyn Armstrong May 20, 2019 / 8:38 am

    Ah the joys of life crashing all around you. It wasn’t the signature. You probably thought “what could possibly go wrong” — so it did.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Melanie B Cee May 20, 2019 / 8:39 am

    That guy in the story (you? Surely not) just experienced what a great many young people experience ‘really real’ life. Few are prepared for it either. I read somewhere recently that there’s a series of classes being offered at some high school (seems to me it was in Florida, but I could be wrong) that teach those kids about really real life. The stuff nobody tells a young person like ‘shit happens’ and just when you can least afford it too. Or that if you don’t pay your bills, your stuff will be repossessed, you could face homelessness (which a lot of young people apparently think is sort of cool), your future could be permanently ruined. I wish they had told ME because I bought a brand new (she had 25 miles on her speedometer when I got her) Nova. I worked at a local bank for $2.85 an hour. Yeah I could afford THAT (not). The car was repossessed in short order. We’re all stupid as young folks. I’m just shocked that so many of us survive the experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango May 20, 2019 / 9:17 am

      No, I’m not the guy in the story, although there were times when a game close back in the day.


  4. rugby843 May 20, 2019 / 10:18 am

    And that is just how easy it is and how fast someone, anyone, can end up homeless.  Interesting story, but sad how true it is for a lot of people.  Thanks for writing this.

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad

    Liked by 1 person

  5. msjadeli May 20, 2019 / 10:20 pm

    I’m laughing but you know, it sounds so plausible for so many 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango May 20, 2019 / 11:23 pm

      It probably is plausible these days for a large number of down on their luck people.


  6. leigha66 May 21, 2019 / 12:21 pm

    Bad times do seem to come in tidal waves instead of just little ripples. Good story Fandango!

    Liked by 1 person

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