The Supreme Court today let stand a lower court ruling invalidating an Indiana ban on abortions solely on the basis of sex, race, or disability. But in a strange twist, a majority of the justices also said the state’s requirement that fetal remains be buried or cremated after an abortion should be allowed to take effect.
The justices concluded 7-2 that the state of Indiana has a “legitimate interest in the proper disposal of fetal remains” and that a requirement to bury or cremate an aborted fetus does not impose an “undue burden” on access to abortion.
Emboldened by this decision, Republican lawmakers have introduced legislation in a number of states to require funerals for other removed organs. Organs subject to these new laws include the uterus, ovaries, breasts, and the appendix.
When interviewed by a reporter from the Associated Press, one GOP congressman explained that, “just like a fetus, when doctors remove an organ that God placed inside a woman’s body, the woman needs to show it the respect it deserves by providing the organ with a proper burial.”
The reporter pointed out to the congressman that all of the organs mentioned in the proposed legislation apply only to females, with the exception of the appendix. The congressman acknowledged that, saying, “Removal of the uterus and ovaries are forms of birth control, which violates God’s commandment to procreate.”
“But isn’t a man having a vasectomy also a form of birth control? Why isn’t that included in the law?”
“There’s nothing to bury, young man,” the lawmaker said. “that’s a silly question.”
“And what about breasts?” The reporter asked.
“Breast removal disfigures the body God gave women in order to make them sexually attractive to men. Their removal is yet another form of birth control,” the Republican said.
The reporter shook his head in disbelief. “But men have appendixes,” he said. “Does your law require that a funeral be held for an appendix surgically removed from a man’s body?”
“Now you’re being ridiculous,” the GOP lawmaker said. “You know that in America, men can do whatever they want with their own bodies.”
“Do you honestly believe that women will vote for you when you’re up for re-election, given your support for these rather draconian proposals?” the reporter asked.”
“Of course,” he said. “We’re doing God’s work. Besides, women know their place. They’ll do whatever their husbands tell them to do.”
Note: while this is a satirical post, Indiana did, in fact, enact a law that included requiring the burial or cremation of an aborted fetus and the Supreme Court of the United States upheld that part of the law.