I Really Screwed Up

“Are you okay?” Cheryl asked the guy in the cubicle next to hers. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“I really screwed up,” Steve said.

“What did you do?”

“I was applying for a mortgage loan with an online mortgage company,” Steve said.

“On your work computer on company time?” Cheryl said.

“Yeah,” Steve admitted. “And as I was completing the online application, I was asked to enter my login password.”

“Your password to the company server?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “And then this showed up on my screen.” He held up his laptop and showed it to Cheryl.E2884747-1C25-4423-8DF5-D9F6517E4DF1“Oh shit!” Cheryl exclaimed. Then she looked at the screen on her own laptop and saw the same ransomware screen. “We’re totally fucked,” she said.

Written for Paula Light’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are “ghost,” “password,” and “loan.”

Ta Ta For Now

27D6FED4-A68D-4A8D-97D8-D9E61F9F4824“What did you say your profession is?” Jenny asked the guy she was sharing a table with at the crowded coffee shop.

“I didn’t say, but I’m a stand-up comic,” Josh said. “I perform a few nights a week at a comedy club down by the river. You should stop by one night.”

Jenny smiled politely and looked at her watch. She stood up, put out a hand, and said, “Nice meeting you, Josh, but I have to run.”

Josh stood up and shook Jenny’s hand. “So will I see you some night soon at the comedy club?”

“I don’t think so,” Jenny said. “At the risk of sounding like a bit of a snob, I prefer the plangent sounds of a string quartet to the raunchiness of stand-up comedy. But, thank you for sharing your table with me. Ta ta for now.”

After Jenny left and Josh was sitting by himself again, the guy at the next table said, “Hey, buddy, I couldn’t help overhearing. Nice try, but to be honest with you, you’re better off without that ‘ta ta for now’ snooty bitch, anyway.”

Written for these daily prompts: The Daily Spur (profession), Your Daily Word Prompt (comedy), Word of the Day Challenge (river), Ragtag Daily Prompt (plangent), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (anyway).

Share Your World — Soulmates and MAGA Hats

Monday is Share Your World day, and Melanie has, once again, posed her irresistible questions.

Do you believe in soul mates? If so, do you think there is only one person meant to share that bond with you, out there in the world?

Okay, just because I don’t believe that there is such a thing as a soul, doesn’t mean I don’t believe in the notion of “soulmates.” I ended up marrying my soulmate. But truth be told, I think one’s soulmate usually ends up being a product of time, place, and opportunity. My wife and I happened to be “geographically compatible” (i.e., we lived in the same city), and both of us were at a point in time in our lives where we were ready to commit to each other via marriage. I’m sure that there are other women who exist who could have been my “soulmate,” but I either didn’t know them because we lived in different parts of the country (or world), and/or because one or both of us was not ready for a lifelong commitment.

Ice cream cone, shake, or other ice cream concoction?

You know what I’m going to say, right? A few scoops of Ben & Jerry’s Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream ice cream in a bowl.FE818CF3-4653-4FBB-9562-61C6A8482E82

What would be the hat to end all hats? What could you wear on your head that would make people stop what they are doing and stare in awe and amazement?

I would like to nominate the red MAGA hat as the hat that should be ended. And, yes, if I were to wear such a hat, people would look at me in awe and amazement and wonder when dementia overcame me.fandango-maga-hat.jpg

What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sale of all time?

MAGA hats. Duh!

Bonus Question. Please share a moment of gratitude that you experienced during the past week. 

The April A to Z Challenge is finally over!

A to Z Challenge Reflections

img_4815Those of us who participated in the 2019 A to Z Blogging Challenge last month have been asked by the promoters to write a post reflecting back on our experience. Okay, fair enough. Here are my thoughts.

During the month of April, I had 15,438 views, of which 1,586 were of my 26 A to Z posts, so the A to Z posts accounted for just over 10% of my total views for the month. And I probably gained some followers in April through my A to Z Challenge participation.

My top five A to Z posts viewed in April were:

  1. B is for Blogger (120 views)
  2. G is for Gender (95 views)
  3. X is for Xenophobe (93 views)
  4. A is for Acronym (92 Views)
  5. C is for Chronological Order (68 views)

Interestingly, 57% of my A to Z posts were viewed in the first half of the month and only 43% in the second half, so readership dropped off significantly as the month progressed.

One of the goals of the A to Z Challenge is to encourage bloggers to post every day during the month of April. But I already post multiple times a day anyway, so I’m not sure that having to come up with a challenge post each day wasn’t more of a burden than it was worth.

And yes, it was a bit of a burden. Unlike many others who participated in the challenge, I didn’t have a theme. So I had to come up each day with some rather random “alpha-post” in addition to my other prompt-response posts and my political rants. And yes, some of my A to Z Challenge posts were political rants.

I met a few other bloggers who were new to me as a result of their participation in the challenge, but not that many. A few hundred bloggers participated and ain’t nobody got time to read a few hundred posts each day from other bloggers.

Aint Nobody Got Time For That GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Will I do this again next April? I honestly don’t know. I’ll have to see how I’m feeling then, assuming that I’m still alive and blogging.

Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #12

FFFCWelcome to “Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge.” Each week I will be posting a photo I grab off the internet and challenge bloggers to write a relatively short flash fiction piece inspired by the photo. While there are no definitive style or word limits, I suggest trying to keep your posts to under 300 words.

I want to sincerely thank everyone who has participated in these challenges so far. Your posts have been very creative. I hope this week’s image will also generate some great posts as well.

So now it’s time for my twelfth weekly Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge. The image below is from enriquelopezgarre@pixabay.com.E13D30D9-92B7-4E84-B84C-AD5C08FCEE73 If this picture inspires you and you wish to participate, please write your post, use the tag #FFFC, and link back to this post.

Note: some bloggers have had issues with pingbacks showing up lately, so if you don’t see it shortly after you published your post, you might want manually add your link in the comments.

Please take a few minutes to read some of the other responses to this photo challenge. And most important, have fun.