SoCS — The Settlement

1E5F4B2B-8394-4F71-9438-456E36FD1643Nathan and Elizabeth were sitting across the table from one another in the conference room at the offices of Nathan’s attorney. Each had their respective lawyers by their sides. A fifth person, a note-taker, was also seated at the table. Three piles of paper were on the tabletop.

“This pile on my left is his,” Nathan’s lawyer said, pointing at Nathan. “And the pile on my right is hers,” he said, pointing this time toward Elizabeth. “We agreed at our last meeting to divide these assets accordingly.”

Nathan and Elizabeth alternated between glaring at one another and avoiding looking at each other. The tension between the two of them was palpable.

“The pile in the middle,” the lawyer continued, “will be our focus for today’s settlement meeting. It contains such assets as the primary house, the cabin, the boat, the motorcycle, and the three cars. For now we’ll call that pile ‘theirs,’ and together, our job is to figure out how to split these between the two parties.

“I can’t do this ‘his, hers, and ours’ bullshit anymore,” Nathan said. “All I want is the cabin, the Porsche, the motorcycle, and the boat. Elizabeth can have the main house with all the furniture, the Mercedes, and the Caddy. They’re worth way more than what I’m asking for.”

“You selfish bastard!” Elizabeth screamed.

“You ungrateful bitch!” Nathan yelled back.

The two lawyers looked at each other and both did an eye roll. “Candice,” Nathan’s lawyer said to the note-taker, “I think we’ll need a larger pot of coffee.”


Written for today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill. The assignment is to use the words his and/or her(s). Fortunately, I’ve never been through a divorce settlement, but I imagine that some of them can be rather acrimonious, particularly when sizable assets are involved.

SoCS — A Dog’s Tail Tale

For this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill, she’s asked us to use “tail” and/or “tale” in our posts — one, the other, or both.

57512366-9246-4043-BC0F-A26C12C82FB9To that end, I’d like to tell you a tale about a dog’s tail. Our dog’s tail. Well, our old dog’s tail, that is.

Our dog was a chocolate Lab by the name of Cocoa. Cocoa was a lovable dog, a real sweetheart of a dog. But she was a nervous dog and kind of ditzy. Her nervousness manifested itself by her continually and quite vigorously wagging her tail. And if she was near any object, like the base kitchen cabinets, the dining room table, or even just a wall, her tail would wap, wap, wap against whatever object it came in contact with.

Cocoa would wag her tail so vigorously and wap it with such force against whatever it hit, that it caused the tip of her tail to bleed. If we were away from the house for a few hours, she’d be so excited to see us when we got home that she would leave blood spatter on the cabinets and walls.

So we took Cocoa to see the vet, who wrapped her tail in some sort of soft protective material and bandaged it all up. But within a day, she had wagged the bandage and protective material right off of her tail.

The vet ultimately said that the tip of her tail was so banged up and covered with scabs that the only course of action was to surgically remove about an inch from the end of her tail.

But even with the shortened tail after the surgery, Cocoa continued to wap her tail to the point of bleeding. Long story short, we ended up having to remove about half of the poor dog’s tail in order to finally stop the bleeding.

People would ask us about her tail, noting that it seemed quite short for that of a Labrador retriever. At first we’d explain what I just explained to you. But after a while we were sick of telling that long, drawn out story and getting “looks” when we talked about having cut off half of Cocoa’s tail. So instead we made up a tale about how Cocoa was a rare, special breed of stubby-tailed retrievers.

People seemed to handle that tale better than the truth about what actually happened to half of our ditzy dog’s tail.

SoCS — Fly Me To The Moon

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This week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill invites us to “use the phrase ‘in other words’ at least once in your post.”

I typically use that phrase when I feel that I haven’t explained something adequately. Or when I can tell that the person I’m talking with doesn’t quite understand what I’ve just said. So I’ll try to say it in a different way, starting out with “In other words….”

But as I was writing my response to Linda’s prompt, I unconsciously found myself humming the 1964 Frank Sinatra song (written by Bart Howard), “Fly Me To The Moon.”

At first I wasn’t sure why that song popped into my head, but then I started thinking about the lyrics and realized that the phrase “in other words” is sung over and over again throughout the song.

That’s when I decided, mid-stream of consciousness, so to speak, to post a video of Frank Sinatra’s rendition of “Fly Me To The Moon.”

Enjoy!

 

 

SoCS — Little Egypt

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For today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill, the prompt is the word “movement.” However, Linda instructed us not to actually use the word movement. Choose, instead, some sort of movement, and base your post on that.

Alrighty then. I won’t use the “m-word” in this post.

But since this a stream of consciousness post, what popped into my head when I first saw the instructions was a song written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller in 1961 and that was recorded by The Coasters for their 1962 album.

The song was a bit of a novelty song about a carnival belly dancer by the name of “Little Egypt.” And the specific line from that song that got me thinking about the undulating motions of a belly dancer was, “She walks, she talks, she crawls on her belly like a reptile.”

“Little Egypt,” by the way, was the stage name for at least three popular belly dancers back in the day. These three ladies had so many imitators, the name “Little Egypt” became synonymous with belly dancers generally.

Anyway, here’s a video of the song with the full lyrics after the video.

Step right up, folks
And see Little Egypt do her
Famous dance of the Pyramids

She walks, she talks
She crawls on her belly
Like a reptile

Just one thin dime
One tenth of a dollar
Step right up, folks

I went and bought myself a ticket and
I sat down in the very first row, wo wo.
They pulled the curtain but then when
They turned the spotlight way down low, wo wo,
Little Egypt came out strotting,
Wearing nothing but a button and a bow, wo wo,
Singing, Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah!

She had a ruby on her tummy and
A diamond big as Texas on her toe, wo wo.
She let her hair down and
She did the hoochie koochie real slow, wo wo,
When she did her special number on a zebra skin,
I thought she’d stop the show, wo wo,
Singing, Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah!

She did a triple somersault and when she hit the ground,
She winked at the audience and then she turned around.
She had a picture of a cowboy tattooed on her spine,
Saying Phoenix, Arizona, nineteen forty-nine.

Yeah, but let me tell you people,
Little Egypt doesn’t dance there anymore, wo wo.
She’s too busy mopping and
A taking care of shopping at the store, wo wo.
‘Cause we got seven kids and
All day long they crawl around the floor, wo wo,
Singing, Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah!

Singing, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Gitchee gitchee gitchee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…

SoCS — October

90B90170-63C1-4433-B85D-596BABFC6FBEOctober is my favorite month of the year. It occurs each year between the months of September and November. It is a transitional month, occupying the period that separates the summer from the winter.

That’s not to say that there aren’t, upon occasion, unusually hot or cold days during the month. There can be. But for the most part, October’s weather is quite pleasant.

There is one thing about October that I occasionally don’t enjoy. An ocean of fallen leaves takes up occupancy in my yard, and it seems that I am raking them up nearly all the time. It might be easier if I had as many arms as an octopus has tentacles, but I don’t.

And what makes it even worse is that the occupants of the house next door seem to be so occupied doing other things that they never rake their own leaves. It makes me wish I knew someone who was wise in the ways of the occult and who could cast some sort of spell on them to make them rake their leaves.

Otherwise, October is the best month.


Written for today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill. Our instructions for this prompt is to “find a word that starts with ‘oc’ and use it in your post.”