MLMM Sunday Writing Prompt — Everyday Objects

e9301ce7-05aa-4c3e-8b00-a20433e8bc13.jpeg“Oh yes, sage Uncle,” Billy said, his voice oozing with sarcasm, “regale us with your magical tricks. I can barely contain my enchantment over the wondrous things you will be sharing with us.

“Oh ye of little faith,” Uncle Scott said. “I promise you that what I will be showing you will pique your interests.”

“Come on, Billy,” his younger brother, Dennis, said. “Let’s see what Uncle Scott wants to show us.”

“Fine,” Billy said to Dennis. “It’s just that he’s nothing but a two-bit hustler and he makes my blood boil.”

“Yeah, Billy boy, don’t be such a cynic,” Scott said. “Now I need you two to come up with two everyday objects for my little demonstration. Dennis, let me have your fidget spinner. And Billy, hand me your iPhone.”

“No way,” Billy objected, “that I’m going to give you my iPhone.”

“Oh Billy,” Dennis said, “give it to him. It’ll be fun.”

Billy reluctantly handed his iPhone to his Uncle. With fidget spinner and iPhone in hand, Uncle Scott put them on the coffee table and covered them up with a hand towel. “Now watch this, nephews,” Uncle Scott said. “I’m going to recite an ancient Celtic incantation and these two everyday objects will vanish into thin air.”

“Wait!” Billy yelled. “You’re going to make my iPhone disappear. No way.”

“Don’t you trust me, kid?” Uncle Scott asked.

“Fine,” Billy said. “Just don’t break it.”

Uncle Scott began chanting in some language that neither Billy nor Dennis understood. When he finished, he pulled the hand towel away and the iPhone and fidget spinner were missing.

“Cool!” Squealed Dennis.

“Great,” said Billy unenthusiastically. “So where did they go?”

“Well, boys,” Uncle Scott said, “Truth be told, I know the incantation to make everyday objects disappear, but I haven’t quite figured out the one that can make them reappear.”

“Son of a bitch,” Billy muttered. “I knew it.”


Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Sunday Writing Prompt (everyday objects) and for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Promot (sage), Swimmers (us), Your Daily Word Prompt (enchantment), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (pique), and Word of the Day Challenge (blood).

JusJoJan — How On Earth?

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For today’s Just Jot It January prompt, Linda G. Hill got her suggestion from Pamela over at Butterfly Sand. Pamela gave us the word “curiosity.

Speaking of curiosity, in a post the day before yesterday I wrote, “I blog exclusively from my iPhone.” That statement apparently piqued the curiosity of a few people who read it.

One blogger asked,

“How on earth do you manage to do all your blogging on an iPhone? I think I’d throw it out of the window after about 20 minutes!”

Another blogger wanted to know,

“How on earth do you blog on an iPhone, you must be young and type with your thumbs. I’m somewhat set in my ways and cannot conceive of trying to do it that way, I need a full size keyboard and a decent screen so my two finger typing can progress.”

So how on earth do I blog from my iPhone? Well, I’ll tell you. Before I retired at the end of 2016, I was somewhat of a road warrior. I traveled much of the time. Back in 1997, 22 years ago, my boss at the time handed me a BlackBerry device.

He said, “Fandango, you need to never be out of touch when you’re on the road. This BlackBerry will enable you to receive, respond to, and send emails immediately from wherever you’re traveling.”

And so began being connected to my job 24×7. I became quite adept at thumb typing on the tiny physical keyboard on my BlackBerry device. I could type out an email on it almost as fast as I could on my laptop.

In 2010 I migrated from the BlackBerry to an iPhone. I admit, it took me a while to adjust from the BlackBerry’s tiny physical keyboard to the iPhone’s tiny virtual keypad. But after a while I became pretty good at that, too. So using my iPhone to blog is not a big leap.

It also makes me more nimble. I don’t have to be sitting at a desk in order to read and write posts. I also don’t have to be lugging around a three-pound device that is way too big to fit into my pocket in order to blog. I wrote a post on the bus yesterday while on my way to the dentist. I’m writing this while sitting on the toilet. Actually that’s a lie. Or is it? You’ll never know.

I average, according to my iPhone’s screen time log, about 10 hours a day on my iPhone, about two-thirds of which is on WordPress. I probably spend fewer than 10 hours a month on my laptop.

I admit that touch typing on a full size keyboard on my laptop is probably faster and with fewer typos than using my iPhone’s virtual keypad. But the flexibility of using my always with me, wherever I am iPhone outweighs that. So, it’s just a matter of getting used to thumb typing. And I love being untethered.

Now if WordPress could just stop being so wonky and if Trump would be impeached, everything would be good with the world. My world, anyway.

Does This Only Happen to Me?

I’ve written lately about some wonky things happening on the WordPress iOS app. Here, for example. And here, too.

As some of you know, I blog exclusively from my iPhone and I’ve noticed something a bit weird. On the WordPress app for the iPhone, when I’m looking through my Reader, I will see a post notification with a small, cropped image at the top, followed by the post’s title, and then the first few lines of the post. As in the illustration below:18264bf5-be5d-42bc-85d0-39ff3f48287bThere are two ways to view a post in my Reader. One is to tap the post’s title, which displays the post in Reader mode. The other is to tap the “Visit” icon at the bottom left, which will bring up the mobile-enabled view of the post. This shows the Reader view when I tap the post’s title:4e10783f-9a7b-432e-9157-154380e34f37Note the full image at the top of the post. But if, instead, I tap the “Visit” icon, here’s what I see:6a241377-88f2-4f5a-bb13-22a72eb0644dNo image at all! Nowhere in the post! Where did the image go?

Maybe it’s the fact that I’m using an iPhone instead of a laptop. But why, I wonder, does the image show up in the Reader version and not in the mobile version of the post?

I’m sorry if I’m coming across like a bit of a whiner, but I’m curious if the images you see in your Reader don’t always show when you go visit the actual post. Or does this only happen to me?

Dammit WordPress

b558d83d-f9dd-4807-b3d0-dc6ebf12b60dThis is what I’m talking about, WordPress! What is going on with the Reader in the iOS app? I know that there wasn’t a five hour gap where no blogger I follow posted anything last night! So why the fuck aren’t their posts showing up in my Reader on the app.

Hang on a second, WordPress. I’m going to log into Safari on my iPhone. Give me a second, okay?cda1004d-9aa2-4bb8-9e9a-bee5864797c0Okay, I’m back. Do you see that, WordPress? The “missing” posts are there in the Reader on the web browser, but not on your app.

Get your shit together, dammit.

SoCS — Huh?

I’m not sure what to make of the latest Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill. She wrote:

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “ask someone else.” Either ask someone for a prompt word or, if you can’t, turn on a TV or a radio and choose a word from the first sentence you hear.”

Following Linda’s instructions, last night after dinner I turned to my wife and said, “Give me a prompt word for my Stream of Consciousness Saturday post.”

She said, “You want a prompt word from me? Okay. How about ‘dishes’? Put down the goddam iPhone and wash the dinner dishes. I cooked, you clean. That’s our deal.”

So I put down my iPhone and turned on the TV.7C7501C1-7764-4779-97A5-719C4C57BCDCOf course, the word that stuck out in the first sentence I heard was “Trump.”

Damn, I am so sick of hearing that douchbag’s name. So I turned off the TV and washed the goddam dinner dishes. Then I picked up my iPhone, logged onto WordPress and composed this post, which I scheduled to be published at 3 am today my time.

End of story.