naked

Pow! Bang! Zoom!

Fandango8 Comments

“Why do you always try to needle me into doing things I don’t want to do?” Ralph said to his wife, Alice.

Alice pulled the TV remote out of Ralph’s hand, pointed it toward the television and zapped it off. “Ralph Kramden,” she said, “I’m tired of our life together. Since you retired from the bus company, all you do, day and night, is watch TV. It’s a sickness within you, Ralph, and I’ve had it. I’ve tried various and sundry approaches to get you up and off that sofa and to motivate you to do something, anything, besides watch that goddam TV, but nothing works. I could parade in front of you buck naked and you wouldn’t take your eyes away from that damn screen.”

“One, two, three, four….”

“Are you doing a countdown, Ralph?” Alice asked.

“Yeah,” Ralph said, “and by the time I reach ten, you either have to strip naked and strut for me, hand me back the remote and leave me alone, or it’s pow, bang, zoom, you’re going to the moon, Alice.”

Written for these daily prompts: E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (needle), My Vivid Blog (remote), Ragtag Daily Prompt (zap), The Daily Spur (sickness), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (sundry), and Word of the Day Challenge (countdown).

Beating the Heat

Fandango10 Comments

It’s sweltering outside and the air conditioning is on the fritz, so I suggested to my husband that we strip naked, get in the car, turn the air conditioning on, and drive around town to stay cool. He balked.

He’s aged into such a meek, mild-mannered guy. He’s lost the sense of adventure he once had, and that adventuresome nature was one of the qualities he had that attracted me to him. But the reason we don’t have functioning air conditioning in our house is because he’s too parsimonious to spend the money on having it fixed. He claims that all of those HVAC repairman are venal people whose intentions are to swindle old folks like us and he doesn’t want to be abused by those con artists.

But I suppose he’s right about not wanting to strip naked and ride around town aimlessly in an air conditioned car. First of all, that wouldn’t be environmentally prudent. But on top of that, given my old, saggy boobs and his ample beer belly, I don’t think exposing our old bodies to our neighbors would be his favorite way to beat the heat.

So I finally suggested a romantic bubble bath and, believe it or not, he agreed. I guess he still has a few adventurous bones in his body.

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (sweltering), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (meek), Word of the Day Challenge (parsimonious), Your Daily Word Prompt (venal), The Daily Spur (abused), and My Vivid Blog (favorite).

The Show Must Go On

Fandango15 Comments

“Do you have a qualm about your role in the play?” the director asked James.

James was slow to respond to the director’s question, and the others in the cast thought they could actually see the wheels turning inside of James’ head. “May I have some water?” James asked. “Suddenly I’m very thirsty.”

“Sure,” the director said, motioning to another cast member to fetch a bottle of water and hand it to James. “So, are you okay with this role, James?”

“Well, yes,” James said, “but I don’t understand why I have to be….”

“James,” the director said, “your role is that of a sea creature that has just emerged from the ocean and is experiencing human sentience for the first time in its life.”

“Yes, I understand that,” James said, “but is it really necessary for me to perform this scene….”

“Yes, James,” The director said. “You are a primitive creature stepping out from the depths of the sea as you evolve into human form, so for the sake of authenticity, you must be naked, totally naked, in this scene.”

“Yes, I get it,” James said. “But….”
EFBFF48D-5985-4819-8167-FD232656745D“James, I am confident that once you’ve rehearsed this scene enough times, and when we’re ready for opening night,” the director said, “you won’t have to be concerned about the erection you are now, um, displaying.”

“I understand,” James said. “No matter how hard, the show must go on.”

Written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (qualm), Ragtag Daily Prompt (slow), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (cast), The Daily Spur (thirsty), Daily Addictions (sea), and Your Daily Word Prompt (sentience).

#100WW — Our Time Will Come

Fandango15 Comments

E40384EE-3E85-47D1-85C0-72B8F0F02EDE“I don’t understand,” she thought as she sat in a chair, “how it’s possible. It’s just not fair. We mannequins are surrounded by clothing. It’s all around us. And yet here we are, as naked as the day we were manufactured.”

“I know,” thought the headless silver mannequin standing next to her. “This is mortifying. There are racks of clothing items, and here we are, exposed to the world.”

The other headless mannequin thought, “The humans think we have no feelings, no pride, no shame.”

“Don’t worry,” the seated mannequin thought. “Our time will come soon enough. Then they’ll pay.”

(100 word)

Written for this week’s 100 Word Wednesday prompt from Bikurgurl.

Shake a Tail Feather

Fandango9 Comments

Tickle with a featherKent spent much of the afternoon cleaning up his apartment and preparing dinner. He had finally persuaded the girl he’d been going out with for a month to have dinner with him at his place. He was excited at the prospect of spending the evening…and possibly the night…with her.

When Linda arrived, Kent welcomed her with a hug and a kiss and offered her some cheese, fruit, and crackers on a platter as an appetizer while he finished preparing their dinner of veal parmesan and pasta.

After dinner, Kent and Linda shared his favorite dessert wine and a pecan pie he’d picked up from his favorite bakery. So far the night had gone exactly as he’d hoped, with some pleasant conversation and a lot of laughs. But now it was time for Kent to make his move.

“Would you like to play a game?” he asked Linda, and she readily agreed. Kent went to his desk and pulled out two, long tail feathers, and with a wry smile on his face, asked her if she was ticklish. When she said she was, he admitted that he, too, was quite ticklish.

“So what is the game you want to play?” Linda asked.

“It’s called ‘see who laughs first.’” Kent said.

“And how do you play?” Linda asked.

Kent held up the two feathers. “Choose your weapon,” he said.

Linda picked one of the feathers and, with a bit of a wicked grin, said, “Now I suppose you’re going to tell me that the game is best played if we’re naked.”

“You are a very insightful young woman,” Kent said.

Written for Teresa’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are cheese, feather, and game.