MLMM Tale Weaver — A Figure of Speech

I was in my bedroom, but I heard my mother and father arguing. It was about money, as usual. My father was laid off shortly after the pandemic began. My mother also lost her job as a waitress when the restaurant she worked at was shuttered. They were discussing how they were going to make ends meet, which I think means having enough money to pay for what we need, like food and clothes and stuff.

Then I heard my mother say something that really upset me. She said to my father, “Maybe we should sell the house.” I have never lived anywhere but in this house. The thought of selling it and moving somewhere else shook me up.

But then my father said something that really shocked me. He told my mother that our house was underwater. I looked around, half expecting to see a rising level of water flooding my bedroom. But everything was dry. I got off my bed and walked into the kitchen. My mother was seated at the kitchen table crying and my father was standing over her trying to console her.

“Are we going to have to move!” I asked. “I don’t want to move. What can we do to stop the flooding?”

My father gave me a quizzical look. “What are you talking about, Billy?” he asked.

With both of them looking at me with what was either a look of love or pity, I said to my mother, “I heard Dad tell you that our house is underwater, but it seems dry to me.”

My mother smiled and beckoned me to come over to her. She lifted me up and placed me on her lap. Then my father said, “Billy, underwater is just a figure of speech. It means that we owe more money to the bank than what our house is worth, so if we tried to sell it, we’d have to give the bank more than we’d get from selling the house. So don’t worry, son, we’re not going to sell the house or move.”

“That’s good,” I said. “And don’t worry about me, Mom and Dad. I don’t need any presents for my birthday or for Christmas. I’ve got everything I want and need just being here in this house with the two of you.”

Written for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Tale Weaver prompt, where we are asked to compose a tail that involves “underwater.”

Rory’s Friday Four for October 23rd

Rory is back with another installment of his The Friday Four. He asks us four questions and expects us to come up with interesting, witty, engaging, and, I assume, relatively honest answers. So, with that as the framework, let us proceed.

What do you forget to do on a regular basis?

Oh so many, many things these days. Yesterday for example, after I baked a frozen pizza in the oven for lunch at around noon, I realized right before I went to bed that I had never turned the oven off, so it was on at 400°F for almost 10 hours! And the other night, after taking out the trash for pickup the next morning, I left our garage door open all night long. Or when my wife and I are watching TV, she will ask me to get her something, like a glass of water, and I’ll get up, go to the kitchen, feed the cat, and then go back to where my wife is sitting. “Where’s my water?” she’ll ask.

How influenced are you by advertising?

Not very much. I am generally more influenced by reviews from others who have already purchased a product that I might be interested in buying. I will also read the reviews from tech pros if I’m thinking of buying some new technology or upgrading to a new device from a somewhat dated one that I already own. But influenced by advertising? No, not really.

Do you have a secret to reading blogs on a sustainably regular basis?

I don’t really have a secret. It’s basically driven by how much free time I have available. I read other bloggers’ posts when I get a chance, which is mostly first thing in the morning or at night, after I get in bed but before I go to sleep.

What are some of the things that people do that make you feel very uncomfortable?

Hmm. I’m a rather easy going guy, so there aren’t too many things that really make me feel uncomfortable. Maybe when someone is inconsiderate. Back in the Before Days, I used to feel uncomfortable around anyone who had noticeable body odor or a bad case of halitosis, but with social distancing and face mask wearing, that is really not a problem anymore. Oh, there is one thing that some people do that makes me feel uncomfortable around them: if they like or praise Donald Trump. That’s because I feel uncomfortable around ignorant assholes.

The Haunted White House

The creep haunting the White House
Has attempted to strip this country bare
And to jeopardize our American democracy
But there is an impending election
In less than two weeks
And I’m hoping that
I will have a buoyant feeling
Because this nightmare
Will finally be over

Or will it?

Written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (creep), The Daily Spur (strip), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (jeopardize), Ragtag Daily Prompt (impending), and Your Daily Word Prompt (buoyant).

Fibbing Friday — Who, What, and When?

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in your responses. Today is Di’s turn to host and here are her questions.

1. What is a pince nez?

The question should be who is Prince Nez, and the answer is Prince Nez is the son and heir to the throne of King Nez.

2. Who had the original telephone number Whitehall 1212?

It was for the telephone that was installed in the hall between the East Wing and the West Wing of the White House.

3. Who reportedly lived at 221B Baker Street?

That’s where the baker leased his oft-flooded basement to the butcher and the candlestick maker so that the three of them could relax together in a large tub.

4. What happened in Pudding Lane in 1666?

A large vat of figgy pudding exploded, covering the entire street and all the houses located on it with a thick coat of pudding that quickly dried. As a result, street on which the pudding-crusted homes were located was renamed Pudding Lane.

5. Who resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?

In early 2017 the building was turned into an insane asylum (or madhouse) and one of the most insane and dangerous men on earth was imprisoned there. Due to mass protests by the citizens, the plan is to remove that madman from the premises on January 20, 2021 and return the building to its previous usage.

6. What happened on the 8th August 1963?

A total eclipse of the sun.

7. Who lost their head on 16th October 1793?

Lizzie Borden’s husband, when she took an ax and gave her husband forty whacks after finding out that he was cheating on her.

8. What was in operation between April 3 1860 and October 24 1861 but failed due to bankruptcy?

The Trump Taj Mahal casino in Atlantic City.

9. What is the significance of The Golden Hind?

This is the solid gold toilet that Donald Trump has in his Trump Tower condominium in New York City. It’s the one on which he sits his golden ass on when he has to take a dump.

10. Who was Spencer Perceval?

Mrs. Perceval’s first born child.

Friday Fictioneers — Creature of Habit

Danielle arrived early every morning. She swept the floors and wiped down the plastic tablecloths. She set up each table to be ready for the morning rush. Creamer, sugar, and artificial sweeteners for coffee. Salt and pepper for eggs. Syrup for pancakes. Butter and jam for toast.

A smile graced Danielle’s face as she looked around, knowing that everything was ready for the first customer of the day.

Sitting down at one of the tables, she sighed. Due to the pandemic, seven months had passed since the last customer had entered the café. But Danielle was a creature of habit.

(100 words)

Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers prompt. Photo credit: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.