Day: October 9, 2020

The Evolution of Male Pattern Baldness

Fandango29 Comments

I was born with a full head of dark, curly hair.

In my first decade, my hair grew fast and my mother used to cut my hair with a bowl on my head.

In my second decade, my favored haircuts were crewcuts and flattops.

In my third decade, I was a hippie, grew my hair long, and let my freak flag fly.

In my fourth decade, my thick, wavy hair started to thin out and my forehead got larger.

In my fifth decade, my hair started to turn gray.

In my sixth decade, my combover was suspect.

In my seventh decade, I gave up and started shaving my head.

Note: None of these photos, except the one below, is of the real Fandango.

Fibbing Friday — A British Primer

Fandango17 Comments

Fibbing FridayFrank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in your responses. Today is Di’s turn to host and here are her questions.

1. What tax did Henry VIII introduce in 1535?

The divorce tax, which made it more cost effective for him to behead, rather than divorce, his ex-wives.

2. Who entered a contest for his own lookalike, and came third?

Groucho Marx. This guy, Gene Shalit, was the winner.

3. What sort of creature is a mountain chicken?

It’s a human being who lives in the mountains but who is afraid of heights.

4. In which city is the UK’s Dyslexia Research Trust based?

Backwardshire.

5. What is Scooby Doo’s full name?

Scooby Dooby Doo.

6. What is a zeedonk?

It’s the offspring of accidentally mixing the DNA of a zebra with that of a donkey in a cloning experiment gone awry.

7. Coprastastaphobia is the fear of what? (and no, I can’t pronounce it)

It’s the fear of not being able to cope with a change to the status quo.

8. What is an orange pippin?

Donald Trump.

9. What is a Royal Flush?

It’s the shade of red on the face of a member of the royal family upon experiencing an orgasm.

10. Who is currently 15th in line to the British Throne?

Mr. Bean.

Friday Fictioneers — Unless Climate Change

Fandango15 Comments

“I give up. I’m going to shutter this place and find another site to start over,” Dave said.

“But honey, a restaurant by the sea was your dream,” Maryanne said. “I’m sure, if you’ll just be patient, we can make a go of it.”

“Dammit,” Dave said, “every time another Nor’Easter hits this bay, it dumps tons of seaweed on our outdoor dining area. This is the fifth time this season and I’ve had it. That’s it.”

“But where will we go?” Maryanne asked.

“Inland, where the sea can’t reach the restaurant,” Dave said. “Unless, you know, climate change.”

(99 words)

Written for Rachel Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers prompt. Photo credit: Sandra Cook

Fandango’s Friday Flashback — October 9

Fandango32 Comments

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 9th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted on October 9, 2017.

Good Samaritan Gone Bad

Before I begin, everything you are about to read really happened. It’s the truth. It’s not flash fiction. There are no embellishments, no exaggerations. I’ve taken no literary license. I am relating actual events as they occurred in real life.

With that out of the way….

Did you ever have one of those days where you found yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time? And then, when you thought you were doing the right thing it turned out to be the totally wrong thing to do?

Yesterday morning I was out walking with my dog. On our way back home from the park, I heard what sounded like a woman groaning. I realized that the groaning was coming from a car parked on the street. As my dog and I got closer to the car, the volume and intensity of the groaning grew louder and more urgent.

I sensed that someone may have been in trouble and was possibly in need of some sort of assistance. The groaning continued as I arrived at the car. When I looked inside the vehicle, I saw a middle-aged woman sitting alone in the back seat. Her groaning was even more intense. I tapped on the window to get her attention and to see if there was something I could do to help.

That was when I realized I had made a a terrible error in judgment. This middle-aged woman shot me the dirtiest look you could ever imagine. Realizing my mistake, I grabbed my dog’s leash and pulled her away from the car, where she had been busy sniffing the tires.

When my dog and I got home, I told my wife what I had seen.

“You’re kidding me,” she exclaimed. “This woman was masturbating in the back seat of her car, which was parked on that busy street, in broad daylight?”

“Uh huh,” I said, and we both burst out laughing.

FOWC with Fandango — Imitate

Fandango17 Comments

FOWCWelcome to October 9, 2020 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “imitate.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.