tinnitus

WDP — Constant Companion

Fandango19 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Who do you spend the most time with?
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For those of you who know me, I have used the phrase “constant companion” in the past to refer to my tinnitus, a high-pitched ringing sound in both of my ears that is with me during all of my waking hours. It is extremely annoying and there is apparently nothing medical science in the third decade of the 21st century can do to silence it.

However, the question is not what do I spend the most time with, but who do I spend the most time with. I suspect that, for most married couples, and certainly for retired married couples, the answer to this question would have to be their spouse. And I’m no different. When it comes to the who, my constant companion would be my wife. And she’s much less annoying than my tinnitus.

Mrs. Fandango is camera shy, but I am happy to say that I finally convinced her to pose with me for this picture, which I am pleased to share with all of you.

Isn’t she lovely? Can you understand why I would want to spend most of my time with her?

Speaking about constant companions, we have a dog who is also our constant companion, but she has no choice in the matter. And she seems to be perfectly happy in that role.

The Sound of Silence

Fandango26 Comments

Max pushed the sides of the pillow over his ears, hoping to stop the constant, annoying ringing he was experiencing in both ears. He knew that trying to silence the ringing by pressing the pillow over his ears would do no good. The sound was coming from inside of his head and he was the only one who could hear it. But he just wanted it to stop.

Max used to be able to ignore it when he first experienced the ringing noise in his ears called tinnitus. It would only enter his consciousness when he thought about it. Or when it was very, very quiet where he was. Or when he didn’t get much sleep and was tired.

But lately the noise was constant and almost unbearable. Max went to see his doctor, who referred him to an otolaryngologist, who referred him to a neurologist. But each patiently explained to Max that there was nothing they could do about it, there is no known cure, and he’d just have to learn to live with it.

He thought back to all of the many loud rock concerts he attended in his twenties and thirties. No one ever warned him that frequent exposure to sounds of that volume could potentially lead to tinnitus. He cursed his stupidity for not wearing ear plugs at those concerts.

Max sighed, turned on his side and thought how he would make a deal with the devil if only he could experience just one silent night.

Written for E.M. Kingston’s Weekly Word prompt, where the prompt is “silent night.”

SoCS — Let It Ring

Fandango15 Comments

For this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, Linda G. Hill has given us the word “ring.”

My post today in response to Linda’s prompt is not a piece of flash fiction or an opinion piece. It’s a true stream of conscious post about a few different rings: a camera, a phone call, a piece of jewelry, a fantasy trilogy, tinnitus, and a song. The only item in common is the word “ring.” So let us begin.

Camera

I have a Ring camera, like the one pictured above, mounted on my garage. it allows me to capture video images on my iPhone of my driveway and a portion of my front yard (see below).

I also have a doorbell camera, but it’s a Nest camera, not a Ring camera. Between the Ring and Nest cameras, I can see anything going on around my house and capture videos of any activity.

Phone

My iPhone displays the phone number of every caller, and if it’s a number I don’t recognize, I let it ring. I figure that if it’s a legit call from someone I know, but whose number I don’t immediately recognize, the caller will leave a voicemail message. Do you also do that?

Jewelry

When it comes to jewelry, the only ring I wear is my wedding band. I’m not one to adorn myself with metal, like nose rings or earrings, or any other kinds of rings other than my aforementioned wedding ring.

Trilogy

Back when I was in college, I was really into Tolkien’s “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. I had a map of Middle Earth on my wall above my bed. So yeah, I was a bit of a nerd.

Tinnitus

No post about the word ring would be complete if if didn’t touch upon the constant ringing I experience in both ears, which condition goes by the name tinnitus. There’s no known cure for tinnitus and no specific cause for the ringing sound that only I can hear, although I believe it might be due to having attended so many loud rock concerts in my twenties and thirties. When I asked a doctor many years ago what could be done about the ringing in my ears, his response was, “Learn to live with it.” Thanks for nothing, Doc.

Song

Do you remember Gary Lewis and the Playboys 1965 song, “This Diamond Ring”? Well, let me refresh your memory.

By the way, in case, when you watched this video, you didn’t notice a resemblance, Gary Lewis is the son of the late comedian and actor Jerry Lewis. Are you old enough so that name rings a bell for you?

#WDYS — Anguish

Fandango16 Comments

Sophie pulled her hoodie up over head to try to stop the noise. It didn’t help. She put both hands on the side of her head and pressed on her ears. Again, it didn’t help. She knew it was coming from inside of her head. She knew that only she could hear it. But she just wanted it to stop.

Sophie used to be able to ignore it when she first experienced it. It would only enter her consciousness when she thought about it. Or when it was very, very quiet where she was. Or when she didn’t get much sleep and was tired.

But lately the noise was constant and almost unbearable. Sophie went to see her doctor, who referred her to an otolaryngologist, who referred her to a neurologist. But each patiently explained that there was nothing they could do about it, no known cure, and she’d just have to learn to live with it.

Sophie worried that her electronics — her laptop, her smartphone, her Alexa, her smart TV, her internet, her WiFi, her microwave oven — were causing the constant noise inside of her head. She decided to off grid and to rent a cabin in the woods. No laptop, no smartphone, no Alexa, no TV, no internet, no microwave. Just nature.

After a few weeks, the noise inside her head diminished, and after a month it disappeared completely. Sophie was ecstatic. They told her there was no cure for tinnitus, but now it was gone. It was a miracle.

Sophie decided to go home to her apartment in the city. She turned on her laptop, her smartphone, her TV, her WiFi. Within just a few hours the noise inside her head returned. But this time it was different. It wasn’t just inside her head. It was all around her.

It was children being massacred in their schools, worshippers being shot in their churches and temple, workers being shot at their workplace. It was the insensitivity of her elected officials with respect to passing any common sense gun control legislation, to dealing with environmental issues, to women’s rights, to racism, to health care, to education. She recognized that there could be a cure for the noises inside her head. Inside of all of our heads.

Sophie realized that those who had the power and the means to affect a cure had no interest in doing so. All they focused on was their unenlightened self-interests. They were responsible for her anguish.

Written for Sadje’s What Do You See prompt. Photo credit: Muhammed Hassan @ Unsplash.

MLMM Tale Weaver — The Sound of Silence

Fandango11 Comments

For this week’s Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Tale Weaver prompt, Stephanie asks us to “write a tale from the perspective of someone who has lost the sense of hearing.” All they hear now, she says, is the sound of silence.

I’m not writing a fictional story today, as the tale I’m weaving is real. It’s personal. And what you’re about to read is a bit of a whine about both what I don’t hear and what I do hear.

You see, I’m deaf in one ear. I had surgery almost two years ago to remove a growth (cholesteatoma) in the middle ear of my left ear. By the time that growth was removed, it had eaten away most of the small bones that connect the eardrum to the inner ear.

In a functioning ear, sound waves, which are really vibrations in the air around us, are collected by the ears and are funnelled into the ear canals to the eardrums. The eardrum vibrations caused by those sound waves move the chain of tiny bones in the middle ear, transferring the sound vibrations into the cochlea of the inner ear. Without those small bones to transmit sound waves (vibrations) from the eardrum to the inner ear, hearing is lost.

I can still adequately hear out of my right ear, so I haven’t lost my hearing altogether. But I can no longer hear in stereo and I can’t hear what people are saying if they are sitting on my left side. It’s annoying.

But the one thing I can hear out of my left ear — out of both ears, actually — is a constant, high pitched ringing sound. It’s a sound that only I can hear, and because it doesn’t come from sound waves, I can “hear” it loud and clear, even in my otherwise deaf left ear.

This sound is tinnitus, a condition I’ve suffered from for more than half of my life. There is nothing that would give me more pleasure than to wake up one morning and not have to deal with the ringing sounds coming from both of my ears. I’d love to experience the sound of silence. At least silence from the ever present ringing of tinnitus.