good luck

Fibbing Friday — Friday the 13th

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Di (aka Pensitivity101) hosts Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. For this week’s Fibbing Friday, Di has given us items related to luck, good and bad.

1. How many years bad luck do you get if you break a mirror? Depends upon the size of the mirror. The larger the mirror, the more years of bad luck you get.
2. What shouldn’t you walk under? A large bird with diarrhea.
3. Why are black cats crossing your path considered unlucky? A black cat jumped up onto the speaker’s podium during American President William Henry Harrison’s inaugural address and Harrison died 32 days later, causing black cats to be a sign of bad luck.
4. Why do we wear a wedding ring on the third finger of the left hand? Because wearing a wedding on your middle finger is a sign of disrespect.
5. Why is it unlucky to open an umbrella indoors? Because it might knock something off a table and break it or injure someone standing near it while being opened.
6. Why do we cross our fingers for good luck? Because crossing our toes is too difficult.
7. Why do we throw some over our shoulder if we spill salt? To get salt in the eyes of whoever is standing behind you just in case they were going to attack you.
8. Why is wearing green at a wedding considered unlucky? Because it makes the wearer look like a giant frog.
9. What is signified by itchy hands? Excessive masturbation.
10. Why do we cover our mouths when we yawn? To hide your yellow teeth and bad breath.

Simply 6 Minutes — A Solution to the Confusion

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The town council met to try to address the problem of people getting lost. Apparently the road sign in the center of town left something to be desired as visitors struggled to follow the complex directions. They decided to set up a committee to study the problem.

“We need to take action,” the chairman of the sign committee said.

“Hear, hear!” parroted one member of the committee.

“I couldn’t agree more,” said another.

“We need a change-of-pace,” said a third.

After months of meetings, the sign committee finally came up with a solution. They published an article in the town newsletter and titled it, “Our Road Sine (sic) Solution.” It said that the solution to the confusion would be unveiled at the public square where the offending sign was on Saturday at 3:00 pm.

All the townsfolk gathered at the square on Saturday and were eager to see the tarp lifted from the sign. The chairman of the sign committee welcomed everyone and said he hoped they would be pleased with the new sign. He counted out, “One, two, three,” and the tarp was lifted.

There was an audible gasp from all of the townsfolk. And then everyone broke into a big cheer when they saw the new and improved road sign. “Good Luck!” someone yelled out. “Brilliant!” the others said.

Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes Challenge. Also for these daily word prompts: Your Daily Word Prompt (struggle), The Daily Spur (follow), Fandango’s One Word Challenge (committee), Ragtag Daily Prompt (parrot), My Vivid Blog (change-of-pace), and Word of the Day Challenge (sic).

WDYS — A Double Rainbow

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Seven year old Izzy lived in a small house in a small resort town near a very large lake with her mother. She loved to play outside, and she was always looking for new adventures. But that wasn’t in the cards today, as it had been raining for most of the morning and that made Izzy sad.

Just after lunch, Izzy heard the rain stop and she asked her mother if she could go outside. She loved the way the sun sparkled on the wet pavement, and she was hoping that she might see a rainbow.

She was in luck. There was a double rainbow in the sky, its colors shining brightly against the gray clouds. It was the most beautiful thing Izzy had ever seen and she stood in awe, watching the rainbows shimmer across the sky.

She had heard that seeing a double rainbow was a sign of good luck, and she couldn’t help but feel excited. She closed her eyes and made a wish, hoping that her luck would hold. When Izzy opened her eyes, the double rainbow was still there.

She turned and ran back inside, grabbed her mother’s hand, and pulled her outside, demanding that she, too, see the double rainbow. Izzy knew her mother would be just as excited as she was.

Written for Sadje’s What Do You See prompt. Photo credit: Jules Paige – Port Washington, WI over Lake Michigan.

Fibbing Friday — Superstitions

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Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Di’s turn to host and here are her questions.

1. What does it mean if you have an itchy right palm?

It means that you masturbate too often.

2. On the other hand, what does it mean if you have an itchy left?

It means that you’re ambidextrous.

3. Why is it considered good luck to find a horseshoe?

Because there is often a valuable horse attached to it.

4. Why is saying ‘Bless you’ when someone sneezes considered to be good luck?

Because if you said “Shut the f*ck up” instead, you might get punched in the nose, and that’s not good at all.

5. Why do we say ‘Find a penny, pick it up?’

Because the value of the metal used to make a penny, if melted down, is worth more than one cent.

6. Why do we ‘knock on wood?’

Because most doors are made out of wood and if you want to enter a room, it’s common courtesy to knock on the door before entering.

7. Why is the number 666 considered unlucky?

Because three of anything is a crowd.

8. Why do some people believe it’s unlucky to step on the cracks in the pavement?

For the same reason that some people believe that the number 666 is unlucky.

9. Why do we cross our fingers for good luck?

We cross our fingers behind our backs when we’re telling a lie in the hope that we won’t get caught in the lie (as in “cross my fingers and hope to die if I’m telling a lie.”)

10. Why is it unlucky to open an umbrella indoors?

Because it never rains indoors and opening an umbrella indoors makes you look like a moron.

3TC — Sports Shorts

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16F4C174-DB22-4016-A5C7-A0A71C6E6BB6“Jesus Christ, Moose,” Butch, the team captain, said. “What is that god awful smell coming from your locker? It smells like sour cheese.”

“It’s probably my sports uniform that’s stuffed into my gym bag,” Moose said.

“When was the last time you washed that uniform?” Butch asked. “It stinks to high heaven.”

“I haven’t washed it since the first game of the season when I made those five tackles,” Moose answered. It’s my good luck uniform and if I wash it, I’m afraid I’ll wash off the luck and won’t do as good in upcoming games.”

“Damn, Moose,” Butch said. “I’m going to talk to the coach about moving you from the defensive line to the offensive line.”

“Why would you do that, Butch?” Moose asked. “I like being a defensive tackle.”

“Moose,” Butch said, “given how your uniform smells, you’re more of an offensive tackle.”

Written for Teresa’s Three Things Challenge prompt, where the three things are cheese, locker, and sports uniform.