#Simply6Minutes

Simply 6 Minutes — A Girls’ Night Out

Fandango4 Comments

“Mommy, come see,” Alice grabbed her mother’s hand and started pulling Clara to her bedroom. Once they got there and Clara saw her youngest daughter, Adele, sitting at Clara’s makeup desk, looking up at her mother with her wide, doe eyes, Clara yelled out, “Alice, what have you done?

Alice got a hurt look on her face and tears started to well up in her eyes. “Mommy, I’m sorry,” she said. “You know how you sit at your makeup table and put on your lipstick when you go out for a night on the town. Well, I overheard you talking to Mrs. Winston from across the street earlier and you told her you were going on a girls’ night out tonight. I thought that meant you were going to take your two girls, me and Adele, out for a night on the town. So I found your lipstick and put in on Adele’s lips. Doesn’t she look beautiful? I was about ready to start putting some on me when I heard you come home.”

Clara started to laugh. “Yes, Alice, Adele looks great,” she said. “I’ll tell you what, sweetie, I’ll just take a minute to fine tune and shape up Adele’s lipstick and then I’ll help you put your own lipstick on. Then the three of us — you, Adele, and me — are, indeed, going out for a night on the town and we’re going to have the very best girls’ night out ever!”

Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes Challenge. Photo Courtesy of Hamsyah.

Simply 6 Minutes — Whatever It Takes

Fandango9 Comments

I was pissed. I’m an aspiring actor and my agent, Goldie McFintail, hadn’t gotten me into an audition since late last year. I was getting desperate. I picked up my phone and called her up. When she answered I yelled, “What the hell, Goldie, did my number fall out of your Rolodex? Why haven’t I heard from you in six whole months?”

“Who is this?” Goldie asked.

“Oh come on, Goldie, this is Barry Scales,” I answered. “Maybe if you’d pick up the phone and call me every once in a while, you’d recognize my voice.”

“Oh yes. Barry. Of course,” Goldie said. “The truth is, Barry, there aren’t a lot of parts these days that would fit you. And, as the saying goes, there are lots of fish in the sea. The competition for meaty roles is fierce and there are a lot of sharks ready to mercilessly gobble up those roles.”

“Goldie, please,” I begged. “There must be something I can at least audition for.”

“Well, a famous director is casting a new movie and maybe I can call in a favor,” Goldie said. “But it’s a stretch and the odds of you getting a role are about like those of salmon swimming upstream through bear territory. And you might have to put on a, well, a costume.”

“Whatever it takes, Goldie. Just get me an audition,” I said. “I’m up for a good costume drama. What’s the name of the movie and what kind of costume would I have to wear?”

“The working title is ‘Jaws V’ and you’d have to wear a large dorsal fin and act like a predator shark.”

“Oh,” I said.

Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes Challenge. Image credit: Romolo Tavani.

Simply 6 Minutes — The Tree

Fandango8 Comments

“What’s wrong with your father?” Alison asked Tim. “He seems in a particularly ornery mood tonight. And he’s had an awful lot to drink.”

“Oh pay him no mind,” Tim said. “He’s just pissed about the Christmas tree. He thinks it’s disrespectful.”

“Disrespectful?” Alison said. “I never knew your father was that religious.”

“Oh, it has nothing to do with religion,” Tim said. “He’s upset that we wasted all those roles of toilet paper and face masks.”

“Why does that bother him so much?”

“He’s still pissed about the toilet paper shortage in 2020 when he had to use newspapers to wipe his ass. Plus there was the face mask shortage that exposed him to COVID. He’s worried about those shortages recurring and thinks we’re being frivolous by using those materials for our Christmas tree.”

“Do you think he has a point?”

“No, he’s just being a grumpy old man, especially when he’s had too much eggnog. He’s only happy when he has something to complain about.”

Written for Simply 6 Minutes from Christine Bialczak.

Simply 6 Minutes — The Giant and the Beanstalk

Fandango15 Comments

The giant was pissed when he discovered that had climbed a damn beanstalk and had stolen his goose that laid golden eggs. There was no way he was going to let that puny human get away with such audacity.

The giant searched around the cloud upon which his castle was situated until he discovered the beanstalk. Because he was a very big giant, he had to be careful as he gingerly started to climb down it. He didn’t want it to break under his enormous weight, causing him to fall way down below to his death. But he was surprised how the very thick beanstalk could accommodate his weight.

But what the giant didn’t anticipate was how cold it would be down in the domain where Jack lived. The giant, living high up in the clouds much closer to the sun, was used to very warm temperatures. So when he touched down on earth, his feet froze on the cold cement of the sidewalk and he became immobilized.

Within a matter of minutes, the giant’s whole body turned into a giant ice sculpture. When Jack heard about it, he grabbed his father’s power tree saw and used it topple the giant by cutting him across both his legs at mid-calf. Then he poured a concrete mixture over the giants frozen feet to create an everlasting memorial.

Unfortunately for Jack, he was arrested a few days later for giantslaughter and for tax evasion for not declaring the street value of his goose’s golden eggs.

Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes prompt. Photo credit: Baldeagle33/imgur.

The Wager

Fandango22 Comments

The passerby tossed a five dollar bill into the bowl in front of the two accordion players. He then walked toward them, stopped, and said, “Excuse me, but I have to ask. Why are you wearing those horse heads over your heads?”

The guy on the left, wearing the white horse’s head said, “It’s because of a wager we made.”

“Oh,” the man said. “I see. Too bad you lost the bet.”

“We didn’t lose,” the guy on the right, wearing the brown horse’s head said. “We won.”

“You won?” The man said, surprised. “What would have happened if you lost?”

The guy on the left sighed and said, “You’d be talking to a couple of accordion-playing horse’s asses.”

Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes prompt. Photo credit: Dominik Vanyi @ unsplash.com.