#Simply6Minutes

Simply 6 Minutes — Call Me Rocky

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Hello. My name is Rocket J. Squirrel, but my friends call me Rocky, so you can call me Rocky, too. My best friend is Bullwinkle J. Moose and we live in Frostbite Falls, Minnesota.

Bullwinkle and I have a lot of fun adventures together. And we have some really great friends that we hang out with, like our Canadian Mounty pal Dudley Do-Right, who is always trying to save poor Nell Fenwick from that cur, Snidely Whiplash. Then there are our time-traveling friends Sherman and Mr. Peabody, who visit fascinating places and times via Mr Peabody’s Wayback Machine.

Bullwinkle and I spend a lot of our time defending America from those two nogoodniks, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale, who take their orders from that hater of democracy and the American way, Fearless Leader (aka, Donald Trump).

If you ever find yourself in the neighborhood of Frostbite Falls, MN, please stop by and say hello to me and Bullwinkle, and to all of our friends. We’ll be happy to show you around the place, introduce you to everyone, and take you on some great adventures with us.’

Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes Challenge. Image credit: Ryan Sims/Comedy Wildlife 2022

Simply 6 Minutes — The Good Deed

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“Okay, guys, listen up,” Bert, the turtle, called out to all the members of his bale. “We’ve got a situation on our hands and we’re all going to have to pitch in to come up with a solution.”

All of the turtles in the bale swam over to Bert, their leader, and listened carefully. “Do you see that young duck over there on the north shore? Well, his name is Danny and he has a sad story. You see, he was orphaned when the last hurricane blew through here and he then got separated from the rest of the ducks in his waddle.”

A murmur rose up with the bale of turtles. One yelled out, “Yes, that is, indeed, a sad story, but what does that have to do with us?”

Bert responded, “With no mother or father and sisters or brothers around to teach him, Danny never learned how to swim, so he has been lonely and landlocked. But Danny recently heard that some other members of his waddle who survived the hurricane that separated Danny from his family and friends have settled down on this large pond’s south shore. Danny really wants get back to his waddle, but he can’t swim and it’s too far and too risky for him to walk all the way to the other side of the pond.”

“So how can we help, Bert?” a different turtle called out.

“I’m glad you asked,” Bert said to the turtle who asked the question. “Here is what I want us to do. I want us to line up single file to form a straight line from the north shore to the south shore and we can let Danny Duck walk across our backs to the other side of the pond.”

“But there aren’t enough of us to make it all the way to the other side of the pond,” another turtle said.

“I know, but as soon as Danny passes over each turtle’s shell, those turtles shall quickly swim from the back of the line to the front,” Bert said. “I think this will work. So who’s with me on helping another member of our pond’s family?”

There was another murmur from the members of the bale and in unison, they shouted, “We are!” and immediately started forming a single-file line of turtles from the pond’s north shore to its south shore.

And Danny, the appreciative orphaned duck, started scampering across the backs of the helpful turtles on his way back to join the other surviving members of his wadde.

Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes Challenge. Image credit: Ryan Sims/Comedy Wildlife 2022

Simply 6 Minutes/Fandango’s Story Starter — Ahead and Behind

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With a sudden rush of panic, I realized I had no idea where I was. At the risk of sounding trite, it was literally a dark and stormy night punctuated by an icy drizzle. And if that wasn’t enough, nothing looked at all familiar to me. I was in a waking dream in a strange place, and that threw me for a loop.

I saw a light shining in the distance ahead of me, and my first inclination was to walk toward the light, where I might find some answers, not only about where I was but, more importantly, why.

Or should I turn around and head back into the darkness, back from whence I came? Maybe I’ll retrace my steps and recross that threshold that took me from the known to the unknown.

Toward the light or toward the darkness? Which way to go? I looked in front of me and then I looked behind me. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and took my first step.

Was it the right one?

Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes prompt. Image credit: unattributed. Also for Fandango’s Story Starter prompt, where the story starter is “With a sudden rush of panic, I realized I had no idea where I was.”

Simply 6 Minutes — The Dollar Store

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“My god, Bart, where did you buy these chairs?” Dennis asks as his chair collapsed with him in and toppled backwards after he sat down.

“I bought them at The Dollar Store,” Bart said. “I got a great deal on them. Then his chair toppled backwards, just like Dennis’ did.

Jeff, who was sitting in the third chair, was laughing hysterically while pointing at Dennis and Bart all akimbo on their backs in the sand. Then Jeff’s chair fell backwards and he, too, was all splayed out on his back. “Sheesh, we shoulda known you’d try to save a few bucks to get the cheapest piece of crap folding chairs you could find. What were you thinking, dude?”

Bart was on his back, laughing. “I was just trying to save us money, guys. But look at this way, nobody got hurt and we’re going to remember this moment for the rest of our lives.”

Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes Challenge. Image credit: LOTHAR KNOPP/GETTY IMAGES.

P.S. I have never set foot in a Dollar Store and for all I know, that store may have quality products for the money.

Simply 6 Minutes — My Big Night

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Kevin had worked so hard and waited so long for this night to finally arrive. But arrive it finally did. Sure, he called in a few favors and greased a few palms, but he was, at last, getting his big opportunity in front of a live audience.

He had practiced his standup routines over and over again and was about as confident as he could be. Still, when he heard his name called and walked out on stage, he felt his whole body grow numb.

Kevin introduced himself and then said, “So where is everybody from?” No one in the audience said anything. “Okay, how many of you are divorced?” A few people in the audience raised there hands, so Kevin started his killer routine about divorced couples. There was a smattering of chuckles, but not the loud laughter and applause he had expected.

“Okay,” he said. “Japanese steakhouses, the kind where a bunch of strangers sit around a table that has a cooktop in the center, right? And then this Samurai warrior in a chef’s hat comes out and, you know, right?” Kevin proceeded with his funniest Japanese steakhouse routine, and as he looked out at the audience that hadn’t seemed to crack a smile at any of his jokes, he could feel the flop sweat starting to form on his forehead.

Okay, Kevin thought to himself, everyone loves kids, and he began talking about taking his son to nursery school for the first time. He thought he heard one woman laugh, but everyone else in the audience looked to Kevin like they were either in pain or asleep. It was at that point that Kevin abruptly said goodnight and walked of the stage.

“So,” Kevin’s wife asked him when he came home at about half past midnight, “did you kill it tonight?”

Kevin looked at his wife and said, “No, but it killed my dreams of being a standup comedian.”

His wife, mustering up all the sympathy she could, hugged her husband and whispered in his ear, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t quit your day job, Kev?”

Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes Challenge. Image credit: John M Lund Photography Inc/Getty Images.