Day: January 29, 2018

FFfAW — Seeing the Light

Fandango2 Comments

2A155BC1-A15A-4384-8829-8907A106F2AD

“Is he God?” Allsion asked Victor. “Did you see how he reached up and grabbed a sunbeam from the sun and held it between his thumb and forefinger? He must be God.”

“No, he’s not God, Allison,” Victor said. “It’s a parlor trick. He’s a cheap magician. He probably has some little bulb in his hand that lights up when he presses something down.”

“No!” Allison said definitely. “It wasn’t a trick. He grabbed the light right out of the sky and captured it in his hand. I saw it with my own eyes.”

“Allison,” Victor said, “You’re being naïve. He’s a con man. He’s selling you and everyone here bottles of snake oil.”

“That’s not true,” Allison insisted. “He promised that if we follow him, he’ll lead us to a better life. I believe him.”

“It’s all bullshit….” But before Victor could finish speaking, the cups were being handed out to everyone assembled.

“Now everyone drink the Kool-Aid,” Reverend Jones said, “and you, too, will see God, just as I already do.”

(173 words)

Written for this week’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers from Priceless Joy. Photo credit: Goroyboy.

Real Fake News

Fandango3 Comments

I remember reading a story awhile back about a Harvard University researcher who had the good fortune of having a paper he wrote accepted for publication by 17 medical journals. I thought was pretty impressive.

The paper was titled “Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?” I thought that was an impressive, albeit a bit strange, title for an article being published in 17 medical journals.

Some of the reviews of his article called his methods “novel and  innovative.”

And that is, indeed, quite impressive. Because, you see, this Harvard researcher’s paper was created entirely by using an online random text generator. It was total gibberish.

Still, 17 “respected” medical journals accepted it for publication. Well, 17 journals accepted it. And they would publish it once the researcher paid the $500 “processing fees” to each “journal.”

Upon further analysis, most of these so called medical journals turned out — surprise, surprise — to be bogus.

Many of these publications sounded legitimate. The paper’s author, Mark Shrime, now an Assistant Professor of Otolaryngology and of Global Health and Social Medicine at the Harvard Medical School, pointed out, “To someone who is not well-versed in a particular subfield of medicine — a journalist, for instance — it would be easy to mistake them as valid journals. As scientists, we’re aware of the top-tier journals in our specific sub-field, but even we cannot always pinpoint if a journal in another field is real or not.”

When Shrime looked up the physical locations of these publications that accepted his paper, he discovered that many had very suspicious addresses; one was actually inside a strip club.

But hey, just think about the how great this will look on Shrime’s CV. He wrote an “academic paper” that was accepted for publication by 17 medical journals.

Not too shabby.

Ahh-Chooo!

Fandango19 Comments

E9E0BEF4-A6FE-4747-A536-8FC1D0806E43Here’s a factoid I bet you didn’t know. A typical sneeze removes air from your body at speeds of up to 100 miles per hour. No wonder attempting to stifle a sneeze with that kind of velocity behind it can be challenging…and possibly even dangerous. Yet that is precisely what I’ve been attempting to do for the past month.

During what was supposed to have been a routine dog walk, I seriously bruised the ribs on my left side after falling hard onto the cement sidewalk.

Sneezing when you have injured ribs can be agonizing. And so, since that fateful night a month ago, each time the urge to sneeze comes over me, I do everything I can to stifle the sneeze.

Why not just blow my nose when I feel a sneeze coming on? The mere act of expanding my lungs with enough air to enable a productive nose-blowing puts significant pressure on my ribs. So instead, I pinch my nose, hold my breath, and pray that I can successfully stifle the sneeze and avoid the intense pain.

For the most part, my sneeze prevention approach has worked. But on several unfortunate occasions, the sneeze got the better of me and I would end up writhing in agony for several minutes until the acute pain on the left side of my rib cage eventually settled into a dull ache.

This morning, just a bit over a month after the rib-bruising episode, I once again felt the urge to sneeze coming on. But this time I bravely decided to let it go. I sneezed.

Not once.
Not twice.
But three times.

EUREKA! While I could definitely still feel tightness on the left side of my chest with each sneeze, the feeling was more annoying than agonizing. And being able to experience a full, robust sneeze was amazingly satisfying.

I’m still taking Advil periodically, as the left side of my ribcage remains somewhat tender. But the worst is clearly over and I am thrilled that I no longer need to struggle to stifle that reflexive sneeze response.

All I have to say at this point is “ahhhh.”

Or perhaps I should say, “ahh-chooo”!

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “stifle.”

#JusJoJan —Seldom Used Word

Fandango5 Comments

A89A05B9-21EF-43EA-B4F3-A01CBFD54060When I read that Jill over at J-Dubs Grin and Bear It had selected the word “fantastic” for Linda G. Hill’s Just Jot It January prompt today, I realized that this was going to be harder than I thought.

You see, “fantastic” is not a word I use very often. In fact, I can’t recall the last time I described anything or anyone as “fantastic.”

I had a wonderful time. It’s a great movie. The book is really engrossing. The acting is excellent. The football game was exciting. It was a tremendous achievement. The fireworks were spectacular. The Grand Canyon is breathtaking. Mount Rainier is majestic. My wife is remarkable, our kids are amazing, our dog is terrific and our cat is…well, a cat.

I just don’t use the word fantastic. I know what it means. I know how to use it. I even recognize when it could be used. But for some reason that I can’t explain, it’s just not part of my everyday vocabulary.

So try as I may, my response to today’s #JusJoJan prompt will be anything but fantastic.

Sorry about that.