This, That, and the Other

Nathan and Elizabeth were sitting across the table from one another in the conference room at the offices of Nathan’s attorney. Each had their respective lawyers by their sides. A fifth person, a note-taker, was also seated at the table. Three piles of paper were on the tabletop.

“This pile on my left is his,” Nathan’s lawyer said, pointing at Nathan. “And the pile on my right is hers,” he said, pointing this time toward Elizabeth. “We agreed at our last meeting to divide these assets accordingly.”

Nathan and Elizabeth alternated between glaring at one another and avoiding looking at each other. The tension between the two of them was palpable.

“The pile in the middle,” the lawyer continued, “will be our focus for today’s settlement meeting. It contains such assets as the primary house, the cabin, the boat, the motorcycle, and the three cars. For now we’ll call that pile ‘theirs,’ and together, our job is to figure out how to split these between the two parties.

“I can’t do this ‘his, hers, and ours’ bullshit anymore,” Nathan said. “All I want is the cabin, the Porsche, the motorcycle, and the boat. Elizabeth can have the main house with all the furniture, the Mercedes, and the Caddy. They’re worth way more than what I’m asking for.”

“You selfish bastard!” Elizabeth screamed.

“You ungrateful bitch!” Nathan yelled back.

The two lawyers looked at each other and both did an eye roll. “Candice,” Nathan’s lawyer said to the note-taker, “I think we’ll need a larger pot of coffee.”

Written for today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill. The assignment is to use the words his and/or her(s). Fortunately, I’ve never been through a divorce settlement, but I imagine that some of them can be rather acrimonious, particularly when sizable assets are involved.