Day: July 1, 2017

Remember Your Dog This Weekend

Fandango12 Comments

dog-fireworks

Yes, it’s that time of the year again when America celebrates its birth. Independence Day. The Fourth of July. It’s a time for picnics, family, fun, and fireworks.

Most people love to go to their local fireworks displays. Since the 4th falls on a Tuesday this year, that means that localities will have their big fireworks shows on one of five nights. Some may have had them last night, since it was a Friday night. Others will have them either tonight, Sunday night, Monday night, or some will even have the patience to wait until the actual day to light up the night sky.

But while humans are oooohing and aaaahing at these beautiful, magnificent, stunning displays that celebrate the birth of our nation, our beloved canine family members are not going to be very happy.

No dog that I know of, and certainly not our family’s dog, loves fireworks. Over the next four nights, we will either have to take our dog out for its last walk of the day before it gets dark and the explosions commence, or very late after the last firework has been launched.

Because during the fireworks, while humans are oooohing and aaaahing, our terrified dog will be shaking like a leaf, sitting in the bath tub, in a windowless bathroom while we are playing loud music to drown out the sound of the exploding chaos going on all around us until quiet and calm have returned.

This post is in response to today’s Stream of Consciousness Prompt: ooooh, aaaah.

To Fart or Not to Fart

Fandango13 Comments

farting in a planeNow that I’m retired, I don’t fly as much as I used to when I was still gainfully employed. In fact, I haven’t sat my butt down in a plane since I retired. And I don’t miss it. Not one bit.

When I did have to sit my butt down in a plane, especially when the plane was full, some passenger would inevitably pass gas. Yes, they’d let one fly, so to speak. You rarely heard the fart, but you could definitely smell them as the aroma wafted toward you.

Unfortunately, it was hard to tell which passenger did the deed. I didn’t want anyone to think I was the culprit, so I’d crunch up my face and look around, giving a clear indication to anyone who happened to look my way that I was the victim, not the perpetrator.

But I remember when, a few years back, some significant news came out of a 3,000-word essay by five researchers from Denmark and Britain that was published in the New Zealand Medical Journal. Danish gastroenterologist Jacob Rosenberg, after experiencing the malodorous problem of flatulence firsthand on a flight from Copenhagen to Tokyo, enlisted some of the finest minds in his field to address the issue of farting at 35,000 feet.

It turns out that high altitude air pressure changes in airplanes cause more gas to brew in the belly. Most people — but not all, I can assure you from personal experience — do try to stifle their farts due to the stigma of potentially cutting a stinky one while in such close proximity to other passengers.

But the researchers suggested that holding back one’s gassy emissions has significant drawbacks, such as discomfort and even pain, bloating, indigestion, and heartburn. “Moreover,” wrote one researcher, “problems resulting from the required concentration to maintain such control may even result in subsequent stress symptoms.”

farting-in-airplanes-250x250So fliers, as the researchers noted, “There is actually only one reasonable solution: just let it go.”

The study recommended that airlines start using charcoal to deal with the smell of passengers’ mid-flight gas releases. The authors proposed that active charcoal be embedded into the seat cushions, since charcoal is able to neutralize odors.

Can’t you see it coming? The airlines will now start charging extra if you want to purchase a ticket for a fresh-smelling, charcoal-infused seat.

This post was written in response to today’s one-word prompt: passenger.