MLMM Tale Weaver — The Blogger

8968C854-B3A4-428C-B16D-BF17BF88ADD8Bernie was a shut-in. He lived alone and it had been years since he left his house. But he had his laptop, his tablet, his smartphone, his TV, and the internet. He could get everything he needed, from food to clothing to sundries, delivered right to his door. Why bother going outside when he could get everything he needed or wanted right where and when he needed or wanted it?

He had no living relatives. His wealthy parents left him a tidy sum in their wills after they died in a car accident. Bernie had no “real world” friends, male or female, to speak of. His only connection to the outside world was via social media.

He had experimented with Facebook and Instagram, but they were primarily photo oriented sites and because he was self-conscious about being overweight, he didn’t do selfies. He had tried Twitter, but felt it was too cutthroat for him.

Bernie finally decided to try his hand at blogging, since he always felt he had a way with words. He had a flair for expressing his thoughts, hopes, and dreams in his writing.

Because blogging anonymously enabled Bernie to be anyone he wanted to be, he created two blog sites, one using a male persona he called “The Professor,” to be his primary site for his more serious writing, and the other using a female persona he named Desiree, just for fun. Desiree was a sexy, coquettish young woman.

Bernie was getting reasonably positive feedback on The Professor’s blog. People were impressed by his thought provoking posts. But while he attracted a small group of loyal followers on that blog, it was, he thought, small potatoes.

Desiree’s blog, where she was the young, sexy, alluring woman, became a huge hit, particularly among horny men of all ages and stripes. He posted pictures of scantily clad women he’d found on some of the porn sites he frequented, blurred their faces, and passed them off as selfies. He wrote erotic, fictional stories, claiming them to be true tales about Desiree’s amorous life, with not so veiled allusions to sexual play. Her blog, much to Bernie’s delight, even attracted a handful of lesbians.

It didn’t take long before Bernie had a few thousand followers and got hundreds of comments each day, as well as numerous emails, including a few with dick pics attached to them. Some of the comments and emails were from men wanting to meet Desiree in the real world. But that, of course, was out of the question.

Bernie was having the time of his life, spending most of his time on Desiree’s blog. Then one day there was a knock at his front door. Bernie wasn’t expecting any deliveries, and since he didn’t have any friends, he was a bit taken aback.

He opened the door to find a young man with long hair wearing a sweatshirt and jeans standing there. He was holding a small bouquet of flowers. “Hello, how can I help you?” Bernie asked.

“I need to see Desiree. Is she here?”

“Why do you want to see Desiree?” Bernie asked.

“I love her. I must talk with her.”

Bernie started laughing. “Desiree is not real,” he said. “I’m Desiree. I made her up.” Then, seeing the look in the guy’s eyes, Bernie became concerned. “How did you get my address?”

“You’re Desiree? You’re the woman I’m in love with?”

Bernie could see the look of rage in the young man’s face and he tried to close the door, but he was too late. The enraged man was on top of Bernie with both hands squeezing tightly around Bernie’s neck until everything faded to black.


Written for the Tale Weaver prompt from Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie. The assignment: write about your blogging experiences. I’ve previously written several posts about my blogging experiences, so I decided, instead, to create this rather odd piece of flash fiction. I hope you enjoyed it.

Fandango’s Provocative Question #12

FPQEach week I will pose what I think is a provocative question for your consideration. By provocative, I don’t mean a question that will cause annoyance or anger. Nor do I mean a question intended to arouse sexual desire or interest.

What I do mean is a question that is likely to get you to think, to be creative, and to provoke a response. Hopefully a positive response.

This week’s provocative question deals with exaggerations, embellishments, and lies.

“How do you feel about people who always seem to exaggerate when relating a story? Do you equate embellishment with lying? As a blogger, when, if ever, is stretching the truth, other than when writing fiction, permissible?”

I wrote a post about this back in September 2017. You can read it HERE if you want to, although I’m more interested in your perspective, so feel free to skip the link.

If you choose to participate, write a post with your response to the question. Once you are done, tag your post with #FPQ and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

And most important, have fun.

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Quit Trying

67BA2C17-81BB-44C4-971A-4062398EB6C2.jpegOkay, I’m addicted (or obsessed, compulsive, hooked, whatever). I went to my Reader this morning, opened up this post from Rory (A Guy Called Bloke), and saw a series of questions. I read it and then told myself to move on to the next post in my Reader. But I couldn’t. I commanded myself to step away from the iPhone, to take a cold shower, to masturbate, to do something else. Anything but answer Rory’s questions.

Alas….

What inspires you to write every day, every week or even every month in your blog?

What inspires me? Life, the news, politics, people, society, nonsense, prompts, photographs, imagination. Shall I go on?

Why do you do it? There are other ways to express how you feel, so why ‘blog it?’

As my wife said to me, “I’m tired of hearing you rant to me and the kids all the time. Go rant on your blog, where no one can hear you.”

Truth is, I spent almost 50 years of my life getting up each and every day and going to work. A lot of my work involved writing proposals, presentations, analysis documents. I also interacted with coworkers, clients, prospective clients. I even tried to find some time on weekends to write The Great American Novel, but never got very far.

Then, two years ago, I retired. No more proposals, presentations, coworkers, clients, prospective clients. Just me and my wife (and the kids when they found time in their own busy lives to spend time with us). So, what to do with myself, I wondered. After a month or so, my wife apparently got tired of me just hanging around and said, “Hey, you like to write. Why don’t you start a blog? That will keep you busy and out of my hair.”

What’s your story or is it your journey? What inspires you to reach out to an unseen audience and tell the world your innermost feelings, share your observations on life, highlight your opinions on your chosen topic or genre?

My story? It’s actually pretty average, nothing special, very ordinary. But I have opinions, perspectives, and a desire to write, so that’s why I use my blog to share my observations, opinions, perspectives, and tales. And my wife doesn’t want to hear them anymore, so….

Is your blog a message? Or is it a way to fine tune and hone your writing skills? Is there more for you with your blog, greater heights to be scaled, a ladder and doorway to success?

No, my blog isn’t a message. It’s a diversion, a distraction from the insanity that is swirling all around us since November 2016. But yes, I do use it to hone my writing skills and I’ve come to love writing flash fiction. Is there more for me with my blog? Nope, this is it. Just my way of expressing myself and hearing others do the same.

What inspires you to do so every time to sit poised ready to make a new post? 

My innate desire to not shrivel up and die.

Share Your World — Thanksgiving Edition

6199B391-43FC-4852-87B0-86F893DC656B.jpegIt’s once again a Monday and that means that Melanie, from Sparks From a Combustible Mind, has challenged us to once again Share Your World. Her theme, given that this is Thanksgiving week in the US, is, well, thankful.

Here are her questions for this week:

Are you an early to bed, early to rise person, a night owl and day sleeper/dozer, or an ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’ person?

In my old age I have become an early to bed (usually around 10 or 11 pm) and an early to rise (usually between 6 and 7 am) person. Sadly, I’m not healthy, wealthy, or wise.

What are some misconceptions about your hobby, should you have a hobby?

Well, since other than blogging, I don’t actually have a hobby, the biggest misconception is that I do have a hobby (other than blogging).

A penguin walks through the door right now wearing a sombrero. What does he say and why is he here?

He thinks he’s in Tijuana and says, “Got a pack of Kool’s for me?”29CE5447-B4D7-4D90-9D8A-7D03B62AC268

Aliens have landed…do they come in peace?

No, they come in flying saucers.

What are you really, incredibly thankful for this week?

We’re having the whole fam damily coming over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Sunday Writing Prompt — Fuhgeddaboudit

34DCC9D3-27D1-4D90-993B-561EA80AC8E1For this week’s Sunday Writing Prompt from Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, the challenge is to try something new. Like using a different medium for your creative expression, tackling a new and perhaps controversial topic, challenging one of your own fears and writing about the experience, or stepping outside of your comfort zone. You get the idea, right?

Well here’s what I have to say about that: fuhgeddaboudit. Why would I want to do that? I’ve challenged myself my entire life. Now it’s time to relax. I’ve earned it. Listen, I’m an old guy, a septuagenarian. I like things the way they are. And I’m actually quite comfortable in my comfort zone. I neither want to nor need to change.

Besides, I do challenge myself with my blog. I post between three and six times a day. I respond to word prompts, to photo prompts, to some of these crazy Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie prompts. I even host my own daily word prompt.

I regularly post my thoughts, observations, and perspectives on what is going on around me. I read what other bloggers have to say and often comment on their posts. I respond to comments that others have made on my posts.

And I also have other activities of daily living that I have to manage, ranging from walking the dog multiple times a day to chores around the house to keeping my wife happy to paying the bills and to reading books and watching TV.

Seriously, the last thing I need right now is to take on any new challenges. This old dog doesn’t want to learn new tricks.