Simply 6 Minutes — The Giant and the Beanstalk

The giant was pissed when he discovered that had climbed a damn beanstalk and had stolen his goose that laid golden eggs. There was no way he was going to let that puny human get away with such audacity.

The giant searched around the cloud upon which his castle was situated until he discovered the beanstalk. Because he was a very big giant, he had to be careful as he gingerly started to climb down it. He didn’t want it to break under his enormous weight, causing him to fall way down below to his death. But he was surprised how the very thick beanstalk could accommodate his weight.

But what the giant didn’t anticipate was how cold it would be down in the domain where Jack lived. The giant, living high up in the clouds much closer to the sun, was used to very warm temperatures. So when he touched down on earth, his feet froze on the cold cement of the sidewalk and he became immobilized.

Within a matter of minutes, the giant’s whole body turned into a giant ice sculpture. When Jack heard about it, he grabbed his father’s power tree saw and used it topple the giant by cutting him across both his legs at mid-calf. Then he poured a concrete mixture over the giants frozen feet to create an everlasting memorial.

Unfortunately for Jack, he was arrested a few days later for giantslaughter and for tax evasion for not declaring the street value of his goose’s golden eggs.


Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes prompt. Photo credit: Baldeagle33/imgur.

Fibbing Friday — Fairytale Fibs

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Di’s turn to host and here are her questions.

1. Why is a Pantomime thus called?

Because an old Italian guy was wandering around his small town without any pants on and he kept yelling, “Where are those pant o’ mine? I cannot find those pant ‘o mine.” People wanted him to shut up and stop yelling, so they invented a new way of communicating and, in honor of that old Italian guy frantically looking for his pants, called it “pantomime.”

2. Why was the White Rabbit late?

She was pregnant.

3. What happened when Aladdin rubbed the lamp for the first time?

He experienced his first orgasm.

4. How many ugly sisters were there?

Three. They were witches and sisters, often referred to as the Weird Sisters or Wayward Sisters. They were introduced in William Shakespeare’s Macbeth and were known for their chant, “Double, double, toil, and trouble / Fire burn and cauldron bubble.” They were very ugly.

5. What did Jack exchange for the magic beans?

A magic flute.

6. Why do they always shout ‘It’s behind you!!’

That’s the appropriate answer when someone asks, “Where’s my butt?”

7. What was the house in the woods made of that Hansel and Gretel found?

Magic beans.

8. Who owned The Mirror Mirror on the wall?

That was what Donald Trump shouted when he wanted to have his border wall clad with mirrors.

9. What was the name of Dick Whittington’s cat?

Tinkerbell

10. Who was Tinkerbell?

Dick Whittingon’s cat. Duh!

FFfAW — The Epilogue

3BE3AE21-B6AB-493B-8B6B-3C2289FCF23DEveryone was under the impression that the giant had perished upon falling to the ground when Jack chopped down the beanstalk. But while he was stunned and unconscious after the fall, he hadn’t died.

After several hours, the giant awoke. And he was angry. Some little pissant had stolen his golden goose and his mission was to get it back. He went to where the base of the beanstalk was and, after sneaking around, to the extent that a giant can sneak around, he managed to locate the goose and grab it.

Then the giant plucked a long, golden feather from the goose’s tail and fashioned it into a quill. He crushed some blueberries he found to make ink. He located a piece of paper, dipped the quill into the blueberry ink, and wrote a note.

After he finished the note, he pinned it to Jack’s front door and left with the goose.

The next morning, Jack opened his door and saw the note, which said,893E70DE-058A-43FE-ADC3-F9F7834C61B0


Written for this week’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers prompt from Priceless Joy. Image credit: Goroyboy.