hot dogs

You Did It Wrong

Fandango19 Comments

“Did you put mustard on my burger?” Mark asked indignantly. “That’s outrageous. Everyone knows that mustard goes on hot dogs and ketchup goes on hamburgers.”

Mark’s rebuke made Ellen shrink back in fear. “Please don’t hit me,” she begged, knowing how he can be when he’s in a rage.

“I’m not going to hit you, Ellen,” Mark said, “but we’ve been together for what, twenty years now? Yet you somehow refuse to abide by simple things you should know about me, like that I don’t put mustard on burgers.”

“I’m sorry,” Ellen said. “I forgot. I’ll fix you another burger with ketchup and no mustard. I didn’t mean to protagonize you.”

“The word your looking for is ‘antagonize,’ not protagonize,” Mark said, correcting his wife. “Are you too stupid to know the difference between a protagonist and an antagonist?”

“You know I never made it through matriculation at college,” Ellen said defensively, “but just because I didn’t go to college doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself, Ellen. So are you going to fix me another burger or not,” Mark said as he tossed the burger with mustard in the trash.

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (mustard), Fandango’s One/Word Challenge (outrageous), The Daily Spur (shrink), My Vivid Blog (refuse), Word of the Day Challenge (protagonist), and E.M.’s Radom Word Prompt (matriculation). Artwork by Minjeong Kim.

Any Given Sunday

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“I so wish the outcome of the football game had been different,” Leroy lamented. “My guys were the favorites, magnifying the disappointment of their loss.”

“Chill out, dude,” Dwight said. “You know what they say about any given Sunday. My team beat your team fair and square. And you know what? That made my day.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Dwight,” Leroy admitted. “My team looked soft out there on the gridiron, while your guys had a hard edge to the way they played.

“You got that right, Leroy,” Dwight said. “My offensive line protected our quarterback like the casing of a hot dog protects whatever crap that’s inside of those wieners.”

“Speaking about wieners,” Leroy said, “how about I grill up some hot dogs while you grab us a couple of beers.

“No problem, Leroy,” Dwight said. “I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

Written for these daily prompts: Your Daily Word Prompt (wish), The Daily Spur (football), Word of the Day Challenge (magnify), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (beat), Ragtag Daily Prompt (hard edge), E.M.’ Random Word Prompt (casing), and My Vivid Blog (mind).

FFfPP — The Campfire

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The three 15-year-old friends, all Boy Scouts, figured it would be a fun outing to head deep into the woods, where they would start a small campfire, cook up a few hot dogs, and roast some marshmallows. Greg agreed to bring the franks and the hot dog rolls. Andy would supply a bag of marshmallows and the mustard and relish, and David would bring paper plates and cups and would also grab a six pack of beer from the stash that his father kept in the refrigerator in the garage.

After hiking for about an hour, the boys scouted around for a suitable place to start their campfire, which didn’t take long. They put down their backpacks and began foraging for kindling and some decent sized branches for the fire. Using their Boy Scout training, they set about laying out the wood for the campfire. Once it was ready, David squirted some lighter fluid all over the wood, lit a match, and tossed it on to the pile of wood.

The three boys cheered as the wood burst into flames. They took some long, thin sticks they had scavenged from the ground, stuck their hot dogs on the ends of the sticks, and held them over the fire. David popped open three cans of beer and handed one to Greg and one to Andy. David took a long slug from of the one he kept for himself and then let out a long, loud belch. The three boys started laughing hysterically. Yes, it was going to be a fun afternoon.

What none of them counted on was the wind beginning to whip up a bit, causing some sparks and embers from their blazing campfire to be picked up by the strong breezes and carried off a few feet and igniting the dry forest tinder.

What none of them had anticipated was how quickly that tinder would burst into flames and start to spread. David tried to douse the rapidly spreading fire with the beer that remained in his can. The other two boys followed suit, but it was to no avail. They decided that they needed to run for their lives before they, themselves, became engulfed in flames.

What none of them could possibly have imagined was the thousands of burned acres, the homes and businesses destroyed, and the people who lost their lives as a result of the out of control wildfire that they started on their fun outing that afternoon.

Written for this week’s Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practitioner from Roger Shipp. Photo credit: Morguefile.

Friday Fictioneers — Life Sucks

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9343A5B3-C05B-4E0F-B4BC-1D3090A91FC7Ben was dead tired. He had to pull a double shift when Clyde called in sick. It was almost midnight and nobody else was around except for Lin, who was working the hot dog and pretzel stand, and she had started to pack up for the night.

In just a few minutes the lights around the avant-garde sculpture in the courtyard of the Museum of Modern Art would be turned off and he could go home.

Oh wait. Ben almost forgot he had agreed to take the midnight shift at that after hours club in Harlem. “Life sucks,” he thought.

(100 words)

Written for this week’s Friday Fictioneers prompt from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Photo credit: Roger Bultot.

Share Your World — Kitchens and Conspiracies

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SYW

It’s Monday and that means another Share Your World prompt from Melanie. Here goes.

What’s the biggest screw up in the kitchen that you were responsible for?

My wife wanted to get new cabinets and appliances for our kitchen. She particularly wanted soft-close drawers. We got estimates and I determined that replacing the cabinets and appliances was way too expensive. So I made the decision to paint the cabinets, install a new backsplash, and buy a new refrigerator, which ended up costing about 30% of what all new cabinets and appliances would have cost us. But now, everytime she sees someone with soft-close cabinet drawers on HGTV shows like “Property Brothers” or “Love It or List It,” she says, under her breath, “soft-close drawers” and gives me a dirty look. So much for “happy wife, happy life.”BFBAEA9E-5C13-4703-B8F2-49E44F284962

What, in your opinion, makes people believe absurd conspiracy theories?

Ignorance, gullibility, and laziness. And Donald Trump and Fox News.

In 40 years what will people be nostalgic for?

The headline in the paper read “We have 12 years to limit climate change catastrophe, warns UN.” In 40 years, people will be nostalgic for a planet that can sustain human life.7EE5F3A6-128E-4998-A4C6-74DBB4414F05.jpeg

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

Meat sandwiched inside of bread is a sandwich. A hot dog is meat inside a bun. It’s handheld, it eats and chews like a sandwich, and there are two independent sides. So yes, a hot dog is a sandwich.

What wonderful thing happened to you this week that you’d like to share?

The Red Sox beat the Yankees in the ALDS. That was a wonderful thing. Go Sox!5C2CDC28-0081-4BAA-AAB3-43FE6F822573